We’ve lost sight of what is a healthy weight

[SpringPop]

Was chatting to my husband yesterday about getting to a healthy weight.

I am 5ft3 and at start of year I was weighing 80kg (12st 8)

I have hired a PT, workout 3 x weeklyand started eating healthy and now weigh around 72kg (11st 4). I’m not restricting food types or on any fad diet. I’m literally eating a balanced diet and the correct amount to lose up to 1lb a week.

I’ve done a decent start but still want to get to below 10stone where I would be a healthy weight for my height according to BMI.

I literally look like a ball in photos I took at the weekend. So fat.

He thinks I look great and lovely. Which is very kind. I literally don’t get how done people can’t see that I look fat. He’s not just being kind.

we got chatting and I Said to him that people we watch on tv that we think are “normal” (not underweight) and are similar height to me probably weigh between 8-9 stone therefore how could he not see I was overweight and not looking great.

AIBU to think no wonder we are quite an overweight nation. We equate 8stone/9stone as “skinny” but actually isn’t that healthy for someone who is just over 5ft? There should not be any shame in trying to reach a healthy weight. I kinda feel like we have lost sight of what is a healthy weight.

at 11stone/12stone, I’m not my healthiest, I’m not my fittest, I don’t look good. I’m opening myself up to more health conditions. Clothes make me look like a beach ball. I’m quite large chested and instead of making me look sexy/attractive, I just look ridiculous and almost ball shaped.

Yes the clothes here are huge. My Asian SIL needs to go to Japan or Singapore to buy things that fit well.

She told me a size 8 here is like a size M in China.

I can't find a proper size 6 anywhere. They're all cut so big.

There is also a bitterness by some when you lose weight, ie the too thin comments. Think how much criticism people like Adele get for losing weight, i read an article saying she had betrayed plus size people. Presumably she was supposed to stay fat and unhealthy to not incur jealously for others. Realistically of course everyone should be treated with respect and shouldn't be discriminated due to their size, but it should be aspirational to achieve and maintain a healthy weight (healthily of course); not because of looks or anything else, but because of health.

My friend wears a lot of Reiss, and also shops at places that do a size 4 as that fits her better

Asian people tend to have a smaller build. That's why BMI is adjusted for their ethnicities. It's not too surprising that an Asian person finds it easier to buy clothes in a market geared towards Asian people.

@theemmadilemma

I dont think it is at all

Being overweight or fat/big is consistently ridiculed, criticised and derided.

There are very few overweight celebrities and they are all judged badly

It is in no way fashionable or aspirational.

Availability of food and typical diets also differ. It is more taboo and less socially acceptable to be overweight, which is wrong don't get me wrong, but whilst it's contributory its not solely genetics.

I agree with you totally. I’ve been slim most of my life but since having children I can not shift the last stone. I’m currently just over 10 stone and 5 foot 4. My arms and legs are still relatively slim but belly, bum and hips are far too big. I would love to lose even just half a stone, but it’s so hard.

Love how you finished off with a goady comment there, too.

Oh I agree. At the same time, different ethnicities do often tend towards different builds, and it's pretty obvious that as a general rule, Asian people tend to be built smaller.

Maybe we read different media, though I do admit I don't read 'celebrity media' and haven't for years. But Lizzo for a start? Media I read it seems to be celebrated to be large and beautiful.

But I'd be happy to wrong. Tell me then though, if that's not what is influencing these young teenage girls to be sooo super confident showing off thier overweight bodies, what is? I see them everywhere.

I don't think that because you and your DH have lost sight of what is a healthy weight you can assume that everybody has! Speak for yourself not everyone else.

The 'but rugby players/weightlifters' argument isn't really a refutation of the utility of the BMI measure tbh.

If you calculate your BMI and you are overweight/obese but spend hours in the gym or are a professional athlete performing in your sport then you know about it. It doesn't make it useless for the everyday person who goes for a light jog or does zumba a couple times per week. It takes enough dedication and time to build that sort of physique that being an outlier is very obvious. Unfortunately that's often used by people who claim they're incredibly muscular under the layers of fat.

Additionally, even if you are a rugby player that doesn't negate the impact of excessive weight on your joints, whether that's fat or muscle. Strongmen and bodybuilders are often very unhealthy.

And "larged framed"

I do try to live by example yes and am a healthy weight but like most find it hard with all the zillion junk and processed food everywhere we turn now.
It’s not meant to be a supportive weight loss thread? It’s asking a hard question that many don’t like to hear.
Just because a question is hard to hear doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be spoken about and discussed.

@theemmadilemma

You've not seen all of the awful comments about lizzo?

Google is your friend

I dont know what you mean by showing off their bodies?

Would you rather overweight teens were hidden? Or only allowed to wear a sack?

Or carry a shame placard?

This in a nutshell ..too fat or too thin both look unattractive and cause health issues.

If only all the people objecting on this thread were instead saying —

'I am overweight, I am obese, I am morbidly obese. It is harmful for me, it is harmful for my family, it is harmful for society. These are the ways I am taking responsiblity for tackling it.'

Then we might get somewhere. Instead we minimise and normalise and even glamourise unhealthy bodies. Anything to avoid facing reality.🤷‍♀️

A massive part of the problem is we have been bullshitted for years as to what a healthy diet is and it has led to massive metabolic issues and a populace with a lot of health issues.

We do not need anything like the amount of carbs we consume and the type of carbs most people eat is deadly for them too. There is no such thing as essential carbs.

The minute you cut or lower carbs, you will lose weight but so few people understand even the basics of metabolism or how their body works.

Even when people get sick with metabolic disorders, they don't follow advice. It's like they want to stay sick.

What does skinny mean to you?

It’s very height dependent - size 10 could be “skinny” on someone who’s 5’10” but on someone’s whose 5’3 it would be slim to average.

And as noted U.K. sizing has supersized in the last 30 years.

I had weight loss surgery last year and have lost over 7 stone. Now I weigh 12 stone and my BMI is 27 which so I'm technically overweight.
I was at the doctor recently and she said I look skinny and she doesn't want me to loose any more weight.
Doctors always have something to say about weight.
The funny thing is in my 20s, (I'm 53 now) I was 10.5 stone and i didn't feel skinny then.

A big crack down on alcohol as well, it should not be sold in supermarkets but only in specific government controlled off-licenses, like in Canada and Australia.

Wth? I don’t drink but really?
Be careful what you wish for.

@Stravaig

Patronising much lol.

No one has to justify anything

You're preaching to the choir there. But it just takes a glance over the thread to see people talking about sizing as if that's the barometer we use to identify healthy weights. Lots of talk about how the average size woman in the UK is a sixteen. Of which shop? They're all so different.