Did I say something wrong?

[DollyPlop]

I’m a community nurse. Last night I was doing an out of hours shift and I was paired up with a young HCA.
As we drove off I tried to get conversation going and asked her where she worked previously, she said this was her first job so I said “oh right, are you doing your nursing?”

Well this seemed to really piss her off!! She replied “doing MY nursing? Errr no … I’m working as a HCA”. I was a bit taken back as she seemed so offended! So I just said “oh it’s just that a lot of people train to be a nurse whilst working as a HCA, I thought maybe that was what you were doing” so she said “why would you assume that? Not everyone wants to be a nurse”

We didn’t talk much after that!! Did I say something wrong??

How is the OP making an assumption if she’s asking the question directly? That’s not how assumptions work 😉

Assuming would have been the OP saying “won’t you be glad when you’ve finished your nursing training”.

Beyond that the HCA has a chip on her shoulder and you did nothing wrong by asking an innocuous question.

I don't think you understand how humans communicate if you're arguing over this. How does that work out for you?

And speaking of having a chip on your shoulder…

It’s working out just fine for me, because (to paraphrase another poster in a different thread). I’m winning at life because I’m not arguing on the internet with grumpy people 😘

What's your comment then? How embarrassing for you.

@Mephisneon Oh sorry I just assumed (see what I did there) you’d understand my my comment. Would you like me to explain it in more detail?

@DollyPlop See there are people in this world who are looking to take offense at every little thing. There’s just no help for it.

Well I’m band 5 and have been asked numerous times if I’m going to aim for a band 6 role now as I’ve been qualified a long time … I have no desire to be a band 6 but I don’t get offended by the question, why would I?

She is young presumably and in an very under appreciated job. You are older, more experienced and coming from a place of confidence that you have achieved what you want to in your career. How do you not see this? Nurses are usually a bit more empathetic than you're coming across

Maybe in future say something like "what made you want to be a HCA?"

Then their answer will tell you whether they're happy doing that or if they're using it as a stepping stone.