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Original poster

Feel like husband has spoiled my birthday

86 replies

redkite17 · 28/04/2023 09:28

Firstly I don't want to sound spoilt or immature so please do call me out if I'm being unreasonable.

It's my birthday today.
For context my husband really is great (most of the time😂, I have my grumbles with some things every now and then like most marriages but nothing ever serious) he's a great dad and does mostly do what I need him to at home.

However last night he had an end of year presentation with work which coincided with a leaving do for 2 colleagues so he got the bus to work instead of driving as they were going for a drink afterwards. He did say he probably wouldn't be home for DC's bedtime but shouldn't be too late as he had work today.

Long story short he obviously got carried away with some work mates and he came home at 1:30am in an absolute state. Almost unable to walk/ throwing up in the shower kind of state. This isn't something he does all the time but I feel like he could've gone, had a few pints, come home at 10pm and still had a good time.

Instead he's a complete train wreck this morning and currently still in bed even though he usually starts work at 7:30am. I had a challenge trying to wake him at 6:30 while getting dc ready for school to see what he was doing about work, he eventually came round a bit and text his assistant to say he will be "in later". Not sure what that means but the state he's in I can't see him moving for the rest of the day.
He got out of bed for 5 mins and said "I'm sorry, happy birthday".

I'm just annoyed at the whole situation. I'm trying not to let it ruin my morning but it really has.

Do I need to just get over it 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
redkite17 · 28/04/2023 14:32

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes 🥰❤️

OP posts:
Ineedaholidaynowplease · 28/04/2023 14:37

Happy birthday @redkite17

I'm not controlling at all. DH can drink when he wants and go out, no issue. But I don't think it's much to ask that on my birthday he can get himself up to Take care of the kids, bring a cup of tea in bed etc. Surely that's normal in any respectful relationship. He has many other days of the year to be hungover and likewise, no issue with him going out the night before my birthday, doesn't mean he has to get himself into such a state.

I think he's been pretty selfish OP. I hope he makes it up to you. I'm surprised at number of ppl who seem to think this is perfectly fine unselfish behaviour.

SchoolTripDrama · 28/04/2023 14:45

shakeitoffsis · 28/04/2023 09:31

I'd say yes his timing is utter shit but if he doesn't have form for this and he's generally a great guy I would give the benefit of the doubt, get his bank card and take myself off to the shops and out for lunch 🤣. I'm sure he will feel terrible.

I'm honestly not trying to be a dick here but someone has to say this - can you even imagine if a bloke took his wife's bank card off to the shops and treated himself on his birthday because his wife got drunk?

She would possibly also be called out on her parenting 🙄

SchoolTripDrama · 28/04/2023 14:52

redkite17 · 28/04/2023 13:41

No, I don't understand drinking to that level either. I'm not a drinker at all. A glass of Prosecco occasionally at a special event or whatever.

My mother was an alcoholic and died from this 2 years ago. I had many birthdays ruined as a kid from alcohol. This has nothing to do with DH situation. But I think it just touched a nerve. And wanted to make sure I wasn't being out of order by being sad about his lack of effort aside from my past. I make a point every year to ensure him and dc feel really special on their birthdays.

I'm not going to leave him over it of course. His timing was utterly shit and he has some serious making up to do

🤍🙏 I'm so sorry OP. My nephew lost his mum to alcoholism a few years ago (Xmas day Sad)

Yeah given this info, I'd say he's gigantically insensitive & thoughtless. Shocking for a husband tbh

SchoolTripDrama · 28/04/2023 14:52

Oh and Happy Birthday 💝

shakeitoffsis · 28/04/2023 14:58

@SchoolTripDrama get a grip! Your username says drama and wow dramatic much.

Amberjane41 · 29/04/2023 07:54

If he isn’t usually like this his tolerance level is low and he was probably just getting bought rounds and keeping up. No one gets that drunk on purpose. I bet he feels dreadful this morning! Happy birthday hope you have a nice day

Sunshine275 · 29/04/2023 12:48

I think you’ve gotta let it go it’s not intentional and saying coulw have been home at 10pm when you’re drinking and enjoying yourself that sort of things to a out of the window. He clearly had a good night, he feels shite and guilty don’t make him feel any worse.
I do understand it’s frustrating my husband did this when he was supposed to be taking me out for Mother’s Day, he got out of bed at 3pm - he doesn’t do stuff like that often, he’s a great husband and dad, so instead he bought me a chinese cancelled his golf for the weekend after and spent the weekend making it it up me.

Devoutspoken · 29/04/2023 12:52

'It's not intentional'? So his co workers held him down to make him drink?

LoobyDop · 29/04/2023 13:09

I was going to say that he’s thoughtless and selfish and he owes you one, but after your last post I think it’s worse than that. Being a dick in a way that he must have known would bring back all that pain from your childhood is just awful.

Tillie12 · 30/04/2023 06:23

Sounds very familiar!! My husband is the same very good most of the time but when it comes to drinking they’ll be this on occasion where he try’s to keep up with his friends who don’t have children and go out regularly 🙄😂
I get so annoyed and can see why you are, however my advise for someone else would be give him a break, he doesn’t do it often and don’t let it ruin your day.. easier said than done and I’m sure I wouldn’t do the same 😂😬

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