Does anyone else just feel so down about their house?

[Grasss]

I feel like I'm probably being a bit unreasonable but this has been getting me down for weeks. I just feel like everyone else's house is nicer than ours. There just feels like so many things to do and no time in the world to do them.

We own our house, it's not in the nicest of areas but not terrible either. It's an ex council house, not the prettiest to look at from the outside.

Inside everything is pretty tidy but it just feels not properly clean all the time. We have 3 kids, one a toddler and me and DH (and a dog!) So it just feels... Not dirty necessarily but not clean either all the time.

I try to have a bit of a full clean when I can between full time work and children but it feels back to square one again within a week. The walls always have some sort of mark on them, dirty hand prints here and there, the bathroom desperately needs doing up but we can't afford it right now.

I go to my friends houses and they all seem to have such nice pristine homes even with little kids and I wonder what it is I'm doing wrong. Everything in our house feels half finished and a bit grubby.

How do people keep show style homes whilst living with multiple kids and working full time?!?!?! I appreciate it sounds very dramatic but it's depressing me at the moment. Everything could do with a good makeover and proper scrub but without the money or time for it I just feel a bit shit about it.

Anyone else feel like this? Like their house isn't awful by any means but it still gets you down and never feels "done".

Whenever I do try and do a proper clean I have to take our toddler to my parents for the day (which I can't do a lot) because I find it utterly impossible to do it properly or well with a 2 year old around. It just feels absolutely overwhelming all the time trying to keep on top of it all.

Could you afford a cleaner. Either weekly or biweekly or even just in for a one off spring clean?

I hear you OP. We have second hand, mix matched furniture. Kitchen and bathroom gets a wipe around once every couple of days and there's just stuff everywhere!

What i'm doing is tackling 1 room at a time and each month get in the things we need :)

I trained my kids to not lean on the walls, no food in the sitting room etc.

A combination of that and not having expectations of a pristine home when you have a toddler.

I have given up, until they move out it will never be clean. Sometimes it gets to me but most of the time I can let it slide. What will they remember when they're older a nice clean house or all the fun they had? Don't get me wrong I'd love it to be clean but it's just not going to happen!

I could yes but most of the ones I've spoken to recently want a one off large payment for the first one that I just can't justify right now. So basically yes I could afford to spend X amount every 2 weeks, but not nearly £200 for the first one and then X every 2 weeks after if that makes sense.

I feel exactly the same about our house. We've been here 9 years (rented)

I'm not very good at cleaning, and the place just feels grubby. There's me, DH, D(S)D23, DD11, a dog and 4 cats

I'd love to get our home professionally cleaned, blitzed from top to bottom, but I just can't afford to. And I'm just not physically capable of doing it myself

Or I'd love to win the lottery and move into somewhere that's immaculate and we can then keep it that way (this house was far from immaculate when we moved in)

I have replaced the carpets upstairs (pay-weekly as that's all we can afford) so it feels slightly nicer in general

But I totally get it OP

That'll be because they need to get your house clean and then keep it up. Negotiate, tell them e.g. a 4 hr clean to start and then go from there. You can tell them how long you want to pay for and then can then do what they can in that time.

Thank you!

YY to the furniture. Feels like nothing really 'goes'. Just sort of like whatever fits a purpose is in there, it's not decorated a particular theme /colour scheme or anything like that. Just feels thrown together does that make sense? 😂

God the bathroom is utterly depressing. It's absolutely vile and one of the main reasons I won't invite people to our house because I'm actually ashamed for people to see it.

It's not because it just needs a clean, its just incredibly old and tatty and needs ripping out completely.

You have described my house to a T. I ended up getting a cleaner, watching Stacey Solomon and Nick Knowles religiously, getting on Vinted and finally threw in the towel and used a professional decluttering person to help me.

She has completely transformed how we use our kitchen and the kids' playroom and helped me get rid of so much unwanted gear. If you can afford this kind of service, I really recommend it.

I got to the point where I really didn't know where to start and it has helped me feel less stressed and to keep things tidier.

Also, don't compare your house to others'. They may well just have a mad clean up before they have guests.

Either the initial payment or another thing I've noticed from the cleaners I've spoken with is that not many of them seem to do what I'd actually want them to do if that makes sense? A lot of it seems to be the stuff I already manage to do i.e. hoovering, wiping cupboards and counters down, cleaning sink, bath etc..

But it's the little stuff that gets left that I'd be looking for someone to do i.e. light fittings, skirting boards, windows, blinds dusting, radiators and doors wiping down etc.. practically all of the cleaners I've spoken to have said that stuff isn't included in their cleans so 🤷‍♀️ I'd actually rather a cleaner come and wipe the skirting boards down than clean the bath 😂

It's worth remembering the following:
You see the worst in your own house, the best in others
You often see other's houses after they've had the "pre visit clean".

I remember visiting one friend's house and I made a comment on how she managed to keep the house clean with 2 small kids, and she then did a visual your round the room I was in to see with her eyes, and actually, our houses were pretty similar. Another friend, we went back to her house after a day out and it was like a bomb had gone off. She has excellent taste, and it is beautifully put together, and I'd only ever seen it visitor ready and my first reaction was "OMG, you were telling the truth, your house does look like this sometimes!!"

I can relate though. We have a constant struggle too. I've kind of mildly accepted it.

The type of cleaning you’re describing is called deep cleaning. You might be better off paying for a whole day’s cleaning, once every three months or so.

Also, check out ‘The Organised Mum Method’ on Facebook. It revolves around 30 mins cleaning every day.

No I don’t feel like that. My house is clean, tidy and not run down despite the kids and I don’t have a cleaner. My partner is very 50/50 and we don’t spend ages cleaning it either.

Oo helpful. Thanks 😂

3 kids and a dog?! Yeah good luck with that maybe lower your standards 😬

I think some of it depends on what you are starting with. It's harder to keep old stuff clean I think.

We do have a cleaner but she just does the basics. So every so often we'll give a room a deep clean - skirting boards, pull out furniture etc.

We also don't have a huge amount of stuff...still a bit too much but we try and not have too much clutter and I love a good tip/charity shop run.

We also had a couple of cupboards built to house stuff when we had some builders in. Good storage you can close the door on is worth investing in.

Also DH is good at stuff like making the sofa look good and hoovering up the cat fur on it. And is generally quite tidy - he leaves the kitchen tidy every night before bed and is just naturally more tidy than I am.

You also probably don't notice it in other people's houses.

'But it's the little stuff that gets left that I'd be looking for someone to do i.e. light fittings, skirting boards, windows, blinds dusting, radiators and doors wiping down etc..'

This is the stuff that makes a house feel slightly grubby but isn't big ticket enough to make an obvious visible difference - I've just spent an hour on the hall, stairs and landing because the bannisters and skirting were dusty, the stair carpet edges were dusty and the light fittings were dusty. The doors all needed a damp wipe, wooden floor edges where the mop/hoover don't reach.

I keep telling myself to set aside a couple of hours a month to do these small, annoying jobs but never stick to it.

Sympathies OP, I also live in a not so pretty ex-council house. We moved in over 16 years ago and it need total renovation, we're still not finished! We finally managed to do the bathroom up 18 months ago and that has made a big difference, even our eldest ds had started to feel embarrassed by it so I completely understand how you feel.
We still have lots more to do, though.
Everyone struggles with keeping on top of cleaning & housework but I think it's so much harder when your house is a bit shabby and things need renovating/ replacing. No matter how long you spend cleaning it's never going to look good.
Can you start even a small savings fund and tackle one room at a time?
If the bathroom feels too daunting/ expensive maybe focus on a room that just needs re-decorating and a new piece of furniture. That's what we did a few years ago and it gave us the motivation to tackle bigger projects later on. Plus the joy of having once decent room to relax in, where I wasn't constantly looking at the things that needed to be sorted, can't be underestimated.

Iv learned to love my house its the same as yours. It will never be a show home or look put together as we dont have the money and neither dh or myself have any interest in interior design. I used to be embarrassed but now I'm take me as you find me

I agree there are always things to do. Currently we need to wash the seat pad covers for the dining chairs, repaint a couple of sections of wall in the kitchen that have marks I can’t wash off, second coat the utility room and gloss the cupboard door in there, treat the lawn with something for the dandelions, dispose of an old wardrobe and a chair, hang pictures and find a home for the hoover that’s easier to access than it’s current one. There are probably other things I’m forgetting.
I’m always adding to the list though and some things have been on there for yonks without getting to them. I just remind myself it’s not the end of the world and enjoy the bits we have finished. I wish I was better at knowing what I wanted to finish things off. I find it’s sometimes easiest to save up a list and get an odd job person in to do a few things all at once.

Housework is a thankless task. Nobody's house is clean and tidy all the time.

I always think less stuff & a home for everything seems to be key to having an easier time keeping things clean & tidy. We have a big house but we have so much stuff. Friends I know who have the tidiest homes are all fairly minimalist

Totally! Three kids (2,3,7) and a cat and our house is always a mess. It’s usually not too dirty, but the sheer amount of stuff (toys!!) and clutter we have collected really weighs down on me. I declutter and generally don’t buy many new things, but the mess usually returns very quickly.

My 2 and 3 year old create so much chaos and my 7yo daughter loves crafting and always leaves an artistic explosion of crap when she’s done.. arrrghh. And weekends are the worst. IMO the only friends I have with 2+ kids who have immaculate houses are neat freaks, very organised and usually minimalists. That’s just not me and that’s ok :D