Does anyone else just feel so down about their house?

[Grasss]

I feel like I'm probably being a bit unreasonable but this has been getting me down for weeks. I just feel like everyone else's house is nicer than ours. There just feels like so many things to do and no time in the world to do them.

We own our house, it's not in the nicest of areas but not terrible either. It's an ex council house, not the prettiest to look at from the outside.

Inside everything is pretty tidy but it just feels not properly clean all the time. We have 3 kids, one a toddler and me and DH (and a dog!) So it just feels... Not dirty necessarily but not clean either all the time.

I try to have a bit of a full clean when I can between full time work and children but it feels back to square one again within a week. The walls always have some sort of mark on them, dirty hand prints here and there, the bathroom desperately needs doing up but we can't afford it right now.

I go to my friends houses and they all seem to have such nice pristine homes even with little kids and I wonder what it is I'm doing wrong. Everything in our house feels half finished and a bit grubby.

How do people keep show style homes whilst living with multiple kids and working full time?!?!?! I appreciate it sounds very dramatic but it's depressing me at the moment. Everything could do with a good makeover and proper scrub but without the money or time for it I just feel a bit shit about it.

Anyone else feel like this? Like their house isn't awful by any means but it still gets you down and never feels "done".

I also think there comes a time in a houses life where only a redecoration will make it feel fresh/clean again. Sad but true.

It sounds like repainting walls, woodwork is not an option for you at the moment.

I recently found that I could get more marks off walls than I expected, but I also had leftover paint and managed to do touch ups.

I live in an old house and even when I have deep cleaned it still doesn’t look spanking new.

Ive found a cleaner will do what you ask them to do, unless they’ve misunderstood you and think you want a deep clean as well as the other stuff.

If that’s not the case, could you take the time saved by the cleaner to tackle the other things. Not ideal I know, because for deep cleaning it’s best to have a couple of uninterrupted hours.

I totally agree with the other poster that you just don’t notice the grubby corners in another persons house.

I would recommend trying to make small areas of your house visually pleasing. So say a cushion on a chair that coordinates really well. Or a duvet and bedside lamps that you love. Plus plants always make rooms look better.

Then as you move through your house, you’ll see the dirty marks as you go up the stairs, but turn a corner and you are looking as the prettiest bed cover you have ever seen.

This might help you until you have more time and money to do what you want.

Only a tiny thing to take off your list, but don't get rid of the dandelions. They are there for a reason and they are helping your lawn and soil to be healthy:

1. Dandelions are good for your lawn. Their wide-spreading roots loosen hard-packed soil, aerate the earth and help reduce erosion. The deep taproot pulls nutrients such as calcium from deep in the soil and makes them available to other plants. While most think they’re a lawn killer, dandelions actually fertilize the grass.

From:
https://www.mofga.org/resources/weeds/ten-things-you-might-not-know-about-dandelions/

That is interesting. Maybe my alternative is to chuck down packs of a few other wildflowers and claim we have a medow 😁

Yes, me. I spend so much time organising things, cleaning, tidying, yet it just never ‘feels’ clean and tidy. Clutter just appears faster than I can remove it. I joke to DH it’s like that scene in Harry Potter when he touches a goblet and it turns into 10 goblets until he gets crushed under the weight of the gold. But sadly for me it isn’t gold, just crap.

Meadow also has a much nicer vibe than lawn.

I try to have a bit of a full clean when I can between full time work and children but it feels back to square one again within a week

but that’s normal. Most homes need cleaning properly weekly and usually more often. You also need to clean as you go. It is difficult if lots of you, but sadly regular cleaning is a Normal requirement.

3 dogs here. House is always covered in hairs. Also moved a bit so still have boxes in some rooms. You need a cleaner, negotiate price and what exactly needs to be done the 1st few times. Maybe coming a few days will spread the cost. Once that is done then they have a regular task list every week, mine only comes every two weeks but that works for me. I find then on the weekend she comes the basics are done, bathroom clean floors washed etc so that frees me up to do other stuff. Currently clearing out two spare rooms of clutter and clothes. As i know the rest of house is clean i have the clear mindset to tackle the rooms. Start small, could be one wardrobe or drawer. Be ruthless and clear out what not needed. Charity shop or sell. Then once space clear and make it pretty

My advice would be -

Less stuff

Clean little and often

Hire a cleaner for the tasks you're currently doing eg hoovering, bathroom. This would free up time for you to do the little / occasional jobs eg skirting boards, tops of doors, cleaning behind the sofa etc

Paint all walls white, so they can easily be touched up from time to time

If bathroom is past its best, there's a limit to what you can do to improve that, other than painting the walls, get new towels and keep it smelling nice eg candles or a diffuser. But it's a shame to let that put you off inviting visitors over

It sounds like it’s not just in need of a clean but renovation. A newly painted skirting board is clean with a quick wipe but if your skirting boards are a gnarly and dented etc they will never look clean even with a scrubbing brush. Are you any good at decorating? You’re going to have tackle one room at a time. It may take a few weekends of prep but you’ll get there slowly.

I think something like an 'end of tenancy' clean will be more suited to what you need. Depending on the size of the house they can be there's all day doing the jobs you listed.

I'v painted my whole house white now because I couldn't be doing with the marks on my wall, I just touch it up regularly now.

I think with 2 plus kids things do slip, even when you have the best of intentions. I have 4 and luckily I'm a SAHM to keep on top of everything.

When I felt this way I threw out around a third of our possessions 😂 it helped A LOT. Also checking on FB or second hand sites to see if you can change some of your furniture so that it matches more. What about chalk painting it all the same colour if it's ikea stuff? Repainting the skirting boards and wood will really help it feel cleaner too. I don't spend a lot of time in one go cleaning but I do a lot of taking a couple of minutes to clean a mirror or dust a skirting board. It is a bit of a crutch to be honest, when things are stressful then having a clean and tidy house really calms me down. It is really sad that you feel you can't invite people over because of the bathroom. Can you pain the units/tiles and get a few new towels etc to make it nicer?

But it's the little stuff that gets left that I'd be looking for someone to do i.e. light fittings, skirting boards, windows, blinds dusting, radiators and doors wiping down etc.. practically all of the cleaners I've spoken to have said that stuff isn't included in their cleans so 🤷‍♀️ I'd actually rather a cleaner come and wipe the skirting boards down than clean the bath

that’s really unusual. Every cleaner I’ve had has done this stuff, without even being asked. My current cleaner does her normal cleaning, which includes blinds, and then does windows, skirting’s, light fittings, doors etc as she sees they need doing. I don’t really get involved.

Oh and our house smelled so much better when I started to hoover everything instead of dust. I use the Bristle nozzle to hoover everything now, coffee table, pictures, light shades... man I love my hoover 😂

I have three kids and 3 cats and everything always feels grubby. I do a lot of cleaning but there is always something else to clean. I just a couple of rooms each day over the week for a hoover, polish, mop etc then run the hoover round downstairs each evening. Keeps on top of it although it’s never clean for long I just leave it till the next week when it’s that rooms turn again.

Our house needs a ton of work doing too, new bathroom, kitchen, most rooms need re plastering, new radiators etc. We can’t afford though. I’ve got much better at just accepting it. I do everything I can with it and that’s all I can do!

Was going to suggest the same.

I felt like this in our old house. It was a miserable old council terrace that frankly just needed starting from scratch with. Everything needed painted and redone which the landlord refused to do/pay for. The area was also a bit shit and that really didn't help.

The key here is old house. We moved into a brand new build. I bought a load of new furniture when we moved. I think being in a new house made it easier to keep on top of the cleaning. My kids are also older now and in theory less messy. It makes the logistics of repainting a room easier now they can entertain themselves. We also don't have pets.

I know it's not the solution you want. But I can empathise exactly with how you feel. It will hopefully get easier when kids are older if you can hang on in there until then.

When I felt this way I threw out around a third of our possessions

This. I’ve just had a massive clear out, eight bin bags just of clothes to the charity shop, and that’s not counting the bags of old Tupperware, single wine glasses, and random bits of tat that I found. it feels bloody fantastic. I actually feel like I can get in to clean stuff now, even though everything was crammed into cupboards and not in the way before. I don’t know why it just feels better.

When you go to other people’s houses they will have just cleaned so you’re not getting the true picture of what their houses are really like. For me there’s nothing like having visitors to focus the mind and get the house clean, so maybe invite some people round. In between visitors my house looks like a bomb has exploded. I’ve given to trying to clean things up when the children are at home, it’s like trying to sweep up leaves in a hurricane. We have to much stuff as well which doesn’t help!

I have come to the conclusion it is the dog. I can get my home tidy and clean even with kids but the dogs! They are always shedding hair, bringing in dust, shaking mud everywhere.

You need to lower your expectations. I live in a big 4 bed house with my 3 year old, DH and a house cat. I only work 2 days a week yet I still employ two cleaners once a week for 2 hours.

To be honest I could probably do it myself, but it would be at the expense of my daughter. After all, at 3, she's very demanding and it would take me a whole day to do a 2 hour clean with her around.

You are not going to have a clean house all the time. It's going to feel like a conveyor belt constantly running. Once you've got one room clean, another will need doing, then another, and then the first room will need cleaning again. It's never 'done', and the sooner you change your mindset on this, the happier you will feel.

Absolutely nobody with young children has a pristine house, unless they get help. Either from a nanny, or a cleaner.
Nobody. If you think they do without help, you're wrong. They've just cleaned and tidied before you've arrived, or before they've taken the photo. Or they've hidden all the clutter in another room.
Seriously.

Lower your expectations, hire a cleaner and/or save up for a new bathroom if you can afford to.

Seriously your house will not look anywhere near as bad as you think to others.

There's a woman who had a Netflix series out (she's Chinese I think?) About decluttering.
I've always remembered something she said about clothes - if it doesn't bring you joy when you wear it, chuck it out.

Always resonated with me. I had so much stuff in my wardrobe from pre-pregnancy and I kept saying to myself I'd wear it again some day.
Yea right. Got rid of the lot.

Why not start with getting in a decorator?

paint everywhere white or whatever colours you like and buy washable paint

then you just clean the walls as and when they are marked

definitely get a deep clean done

start to focus on one room at a time to revamp

give your two year old a dry cloth and a spray bottle with water sure she would be happy to help

Lower your expectations. I am sure that tv programmes/social media have given us an unrealistic expectation of what a family home looks like.

I don't ever remember my parents/family/friends houses being spotless when I was younger. I have been reading the Shirley Hughes 'Alfie' books to my DC again recently and the beautiful illustrations show plenty of clutter and dishes piled up in the house.

Your friends houses will all be tidy as they have panicked and tidied before you arrive!

With kids and pets it's a never ending battle. Just sat here looking at muddy cat paw prints on the window ledge, the plum stone my daughter has left on the table, the socks my ds has left on the stairs in despair.

You need a cleaner that comes in weekly. I have one now that comes in 3 times a week. No pets, 3 dc with 1 just a baby. But we have a very decluttered house so our cleaner just ends up deep cleaning every room because there's not piles of stuff to move around or faff around with. My dc are good though in that every night they spend 5-10 min of tidying up. Everything needs a place so that there's order.