Would you leave your young child at a birthday party when you don't know the parents?

[Cheapcookies]

Short version: organising child's birthday party and shocked at the implication that some parents will be leaving 4/5 year olds and picking them up at the end. AIBU for expecting them to stay?

Other version: organising DCs 4th birthday party. I've told her she can pick 10 children from her preschool due to limits on numbers. She named one but 3 children are called the same name, so I needed to check who she meant, and I mentioned it to the child's mum - explained I couldn't invite the whole class due to number restrictions etc. The mum said it is a lot of children for me to look after if I invited them all.
I'm now slightly concerned that there will be an expectation that I will look after the children and parents can pick up later. I'm really not comfortable with doing that and assumed parents would stay, that is what I do when DD is invited to parties, especially as they are so young and we as parents don't really know each other (different if it's a close friend).
Not all of the children in her class can use the toilet independently, either, and I'm not prepared to assist with that.
Not sure if I should have written anything about this on the invitations!

YABU - if you're inviting 4/5 year olds to a party then usually parents would leave and come back even if they don't know you
YANBU - the parents should stay with them, or at least ask what the expectation is

We all stayed at this age. You've actually no idea who these people are, they don't know your child etc.

Safeguarding risk says you stay.

I never left mine until they were 8 or 9 and they started entering the room and running straight off to be with their friends.

The host should have ground rules. When a parent says they're leaving their child you say nicely "I need parents to stay please".

Tea and coffee will be provided for parents is always a nice way of indicating parents are staying.

Droop my 4 year old off at a few, it's bliss. Invites normally stipulate so just say what you want to happen. Simple

Droop haha

At that age i didnt expect parents to stay, but some usually did.
Its right at the border i think from parent parties to independent. 4 with parents, 5 without. But i invited accordingly and only had their few best friends over.

Never dropped and left before primary school started. Noticed a shift though once mine was in school with the eldest being expected to be dropped off in Reception, but by the youngest, it was common to stay with them in Reception year parties and even in y1.

I think this is something that varies between schools. At ours it was very much drop and go from reception. But I know people in other schools where parents stayed.

Why on earth are oarents staying with school age kids? Never happens here!

.. andcwho are all these children not toilet trained til reception?

DD is 6 most parents still stay at parties. Tbh a 4 or 5 year old should be potty trained and if not I bet the parent would stay so don't worry about that.

You're basically dropping off your 5 year old into the care of a complete stranger.

At that age it's weird not to stay if you don't know the parents.

You're basically dropping off your 5 year old into the care of a complete stranger.
You mean like you do at school and afterschool activities?

Exactly this, and same in Reception year. I feel like I spend my life at parties!

Baffled me too!! All of mine went to parties unaccompanied from around 4!

Couldn't tell you when she last had an accident, but my 5yo would prefer that one of us was with her at a strange bathroom especially in somewhere like a soft play or church hall.

Eldest just turned 5 and is in P1, parents have all stayed at every party except for the odd one that has to go and ferry an older child to a hobby - I often keep an eye out for one of my DC's friends whose mum often has to pop in and out.

We both work so we're not at school that often, we've found it a nice way to get to know the other parents and kids.

Mine never went to parties that young unless the parents were my friends. . I've never stayed at a party.
My dcs just had 4 or 5 friends to a party until they were about 9. Never did whole class one.

This

Yes but those people have at least had a DBS check. Other parents are an absolute liability, you have no idea how competent or trustworthy they are.

I’m a safeguarding lead though and my close friend is a detective in child protection so it makes you paranoid. I don’t trust many people!

Round here the norm is parents stay for a preschool party but drop and go once they are in primary school. Scotland so from about five. If you want parents to stay then just say on the invite. Normally something about there being tea, coffee and biscuits for parents is a helpful hint you’re not going anywhere.

Age 5 is the tipping point.

This DS's 4th was at a leisure centre, I'd say it was 50:50 (around 15 children) his 5th was at home, parents definitely left.

If you want parents to stay, you will have to provide at least a cup of tea/coffee and expect older and younger siblings- hardly worth it.