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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be upset at the shock I’m pregnant?

66 replies

Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 06:46

I’m 32 weeks, and when I’ve mentioned to colleagues I won’t be here next year they are shocked I’m having a baby. I know I’m being sensitive but it’s making me feel I must be absolutely huge if a seven month pregnancy bump makes no difference to my mass!

OP posts:
name985 · 27/04/2023 06:49

Maybe you just haven't "popped" yet.

Mistressofnone · 27/04/2023 06:50

Ah pregnancy brings out the best of our insecurities! You might just be carrying very well. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and worry about dieting in a year. It's not something you can do much about just now. Baby will change your shape again when on the other side, especially when it gets mobile and you don't get to sit down unless it's asleep.

savoycabbage · 27/04/2023 06:51

Have you just mentioned it when you were seven months? Perhaps they are shocked you didn't tell them sooner.

Sometimes is is surprising when someone tells you something about their home life.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Exciting times ahead.

Totalwasteofpaper · 27/04/2023 06:51

What clothes size were you pre-pregnancy?

Dyrne · 27/04/2023 06:55

I think it’s just as PP have said, if you don’t make a thing of it then people might not have realised you’re pregnant - people tend to not want to assume. So when you’ve mentioned you are pregnant it just comes as a surprise to them.

I’m not pregnant, but I have gained some weight due to stress eating recently and I can see it sometimes where someone’s eyes briefly flick downward and you can almost see the decision making process in their brain of “oh are they… wait, no, don’t mention it just in case!” At least in your case you are actually pregnant!! 😁

Original poster
Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 06:56

Prob 14ish, although I have gained weight since starting work there which was two years ago. I got married last spring and ‘relaxed’ with food after that …

I know I’m being over sensitive but seriously, I must surely look a bit pregnant!?

OP posts:
ttcttc · 27/04/2023 06:59

This reply has been deleted

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Pottedpalm · 27/04/2023 06:59

If you are a size 14 I would expect people to be able to tell you are very pregnant!

Original poster
Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 07:01

Well but that was before I got pregnant so have probably gained a lot some that’s not baby if you see what I mean. Which is why I’m getting a bit paranoid to be honest. I know people carry differently but I do feel like I’m just very fat and somewhere in there there is a baby.

@ttcttc ??

OP posts:
Mutabiliss · 27/04/2023 07:04

Are you wearing very loose, oversized clothes? Or more fitted ones? If everything is very baggy it's probably hard to tell.

Some people just carry small, it's fine.

Original poster
Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 07:06

I am in maternity clothes - I need to be! Really strange … I do probably just look fat, as I’m sure no one is meaning to be hurtful. I just wish they’d lie!

OP posts:
YellowDots · 27/04/2023 07:06

I'm absolutely terrible at noticing if people have gained or lost weight. I never notice l even if I haven't seen them for ages!

My teenager and I both have puffy eyes at the moment because of hayfever and we were just saying yesterday morning at breakfast how we can really tell how different our faces look but her school friends and my work colleagues can't see a difference.

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 27/04/2023 07:08

I'm 37 weeks, was a 12-14uk pre pregnancy, 5ft 8. Colleagues were just saying yesterday that I could still be getting away with lying about it if I was wearing slightly baggy clothing! Everyone "carries" differently, doesn't mean you look fat.

Tmi but I definitely look a lot more clearly pregnant naked or in underwear than I do in clothes

Lcb123 · 27/04/2023 07:08

I’d be quite surprised if you only just announced at 7 months?

GreenDressy · 27/04/2023 07:08

There is that time in pregnancy when you have put on weight but not properly popped, as a pp said. You must be a late popper! I would be hesitant to assume pregnancy till the person announced it.

At least they aren't saying 'oh I thought you were just fat' 😂

Original poster
Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 07:11

I didn’t really announce. Yesterday I was in a meeting with colleagues I don’t generally see much of, and we were talking about next year and I said I wouldn’t be here. Oh why, what a shame, didn’t know you were leaving … oh, you’re PREGNANT!?

I mean, most women are pretty obviously pregnant at this stage! I appreciate what people say about not popping - but at 32 weeks!?

OP posts:
ShippingNews · 27/04/2023 07:11

I once worked with a woman who went through an entire pregnancy and birth, and nobody even knew she was pregnant. She was an average size person.

You could be the same - if you don't tell anyone they just don't see it. You should stop assuming " they didn't notice so I must be HUGE", and just accept that they didn't notice.

ttcttc · 27/04/2023 07:14

Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 07:01

Well but that was before I got pregnant so have probably gained a lot some that’s not baby if you see what I mean. Which is why I’m getting a bit paranoid to be honest. I know people carry differently but I do feel like I’m just very fat and somewhere in there there is a baby.

@ttcttc ??

I think you are probably just overthinking. If you're in maternity clothes you will look pregnant. Or maybe you aren't as big as you feel. Pregnancy hormones are awful, probably playing tricks on you x

ttcttc · 27/04/2023 07:14

Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 07:11

I didn’t really announce. Yesterday I was in a meeting with colleagues I don’t generally see much of, and we were talking about next year and I said I wouldn’t be here. Oh why, what a shame, didn’t know you were leaving … oh, you’re PREGNANT!?

I mean, most women are pretty obviously pregnant at this stage! I appreciate what people say about not popping - but at 32 weeks!?

Do you think it's because you didn't announce so they tried to act shocked for you for your announcement?

Original poster
Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 07:15

I couldn’t really have announced it without sending a whole work email out! Which would just have been cringey Grin

I have worked there two years and still don’t know many people outside my immediate department.

OP posts:
pfftt · 27/04/2023 07:15

You are pregnant. You are wearing loose clothes. So what if they just thought you had put on weight. Does it matter that they thought you were fat and not pregnant? Your body changed and if people thought it was weight gain due to pies that just means you carry and dress in a way that makes it indeterminate whether it's fat or baby. It doesn't mean you are fat

CharlotteDoyle · 27/04/2023 07:16

I agree it was probably a case of someone feigning surprise out of politeness.

andlpe · 27/04/2023 07:17

Don't worry OP, I was 38 weeks pregnant, stood in front of a class full of teenagers telling them about who would be taking their lessons for the rest of the year and some of them reacted with shock that I was pregnant. I had a huge and very obvious bump that had been getting bigger every week for 9 months 🤦‍♀️ I think they must have just thought I was just eating my body weight in chips or something 😂

Gabby10 · 27/04/2023 07:17

Our business started office days a couple of years ago when I was pregnant and I realised that if I just went in a baggy top no one realised, I then stuck to tighter t-shirts just so I didn't just feel massive for no reason 😂. Depending what your work is like with mine now as we only have to go into the office 1 day a week it can be easily missed, also the pregnancy hormones will be raging so don't worry about it xx

ttcttc · 27/04/2023 07:17

Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 07:15

I couldn’t really have announced it without sending a whole work email out! Which would just have been cringey Grin

I have worked there two years and still don’t know many people outside my immediate department.

I think they've tried to act shocked for you so you can have your moment. If they said oh we knew it would make it look like they'd been gossiping.. which isn't the case but you see what I mean.

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