Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To be upset at the shock I’m pregnant?

66 replies

Blossomontree · 27/04/2023 06:46

I’m 32 weeks, and when I’ve mentioned to colleagues I won’t be here next year they are shocked I’m having a baby. I know I’m being sensitive but it’s making me feel I must be absolutely huge if a seven month pregnancy bump makes no difference to my mass!

OP posts:

mummymeister · 27/04/2023 09:28

wait until its the other way around when you arent pregnant just fat and people give up their seats for you and ask how far along you are. in all seriousness some people look pregnant and some dont. its not a big issue, dont worry about it. agree with others that they have probably been waiting for you to announce it because its so very easy to get it wrong and no one ever wants to ask.

MeinKraft · 27/04/2023 09:35

You must have strong abdominal muscles holding it all in! I wouldn't be offended. I was hugely pregnant with my first baby and it was very obvious. Didn't look pregnant at all with my second even towards the end. Same size both times. They're probably shocked you haven't told them until a few weeks before you go on maternity leave!

CrystalCoco · 27/04/2023 09:36

As PPs have said, the shock would be that you're only mentioning it now and you're 7 months gone, most pregnant women I've met haven't kept a lid on their pregnancy for that length of time.

Plus, you should never be surprised by just how wrapped up people are in themselves! If you were on the heavy side anyway people just won't have noticed, it's not necessarily a reflection on you or your body / shape / size - most people are just going about their day not analysing other people's bodies.

Triffid1 · 27/04/2023 09:38

Well, to get to 32 weeks without telling anyone is odd. So it's possible that there are people who wondered but as you were keeping silent, they assumed you weren't and now they're either pretending shock as a slightly passive aggressive way of saying, "no shit Sherlock" or they are shocked.

I think stressing your colleagues think you're fat when you've been keeping quiet about being pregnant until you're practically ready to give birth is stranger behaviour and suggests that your colleagues probably feel the same about you. Sorry OP. That sounds harsh.

QueefQueen80s · 27/04/2023 09:41

When you look at your bump is it hard and pronounced? At a size 14 it will definitely stand out!
I was 20 stone in my last pregnancy and strangers would congratulate me etc

lavenderlou · 27/04/2023 09:43

I barely showed until the last month or so if my pregnancy. Felt very insecure, worried that baby wasn't growing properly etc.

Baby was huge. Some people just carry differently.

ModestMoon · 27/04/2023 09:57

If it's any consolation I was a small size 8, with a 6 month pergnancy bump that I made no attempt to hide, and most of my colleagues didn't realise until I told them. They then quickly glanced down, looked a bit shocked, and stuttered something to the effect of "wow... oh.... baby.... great". We spent a lot of time at our desks and they just simply never really looked at me!

Catspyjamas17 · 27/04/2023 10:08

I am 5'7" and was a size 8, nine and a half stone, before I got pregnant with DD1 and 13 and a half stone at full term and colleagues were still shocked that I was going on mat leave at 34 weeks.

Hopingforno2in2023 · 27/04/2023 10:27

I was a size 8-10 before and during my pregnancy. At 39 weeks I still had people astonished that I was pregnant. Some people regardless of their size just don’t really show. In my case I have a long torso so I think baby went up rather than out.

Iwasafool · 27/04/2023 10:32

I think people probably school themselves to not notice as it is such a terrible faux pas if you congratulate someone on their pregnancy and then realise they have just put on weight.

Congratulations.

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 27/04/2023 10:34

I returned to work after my maternity leave and found a lot of people (clients not colleagues) hadn't realised I was pregnant. To be fair, I'm very tall, size 18 and worked largely sat behind a tall desk! When I returned after 9 months and they asked where I'd been, I may have told 1 or 2 I'd been in prison 😆

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 27/04/2023 10:34

Pressed send too soon

Was going to add there have been colleagues that we've known they were pregnant before they did!

whyisitalwayswindy · 27/04/2023 10:36

Most of the time people are being polite. Don't give it any headspace. You say you won't be here and people are too afraid to say oh you're pregnant in case you're not and they put their foot in it. So people ask why and then act surprised. I do it all the time for fear of offending.

Onegingerhead · 27/04/2023 10:42

Well, I m never 100% sure with my colleagues unless the are size 6-8 pre pregnancy. In other case I simply don’t want to embarrass them by probably unwelcome congratulations (if it’s weight gain). As of today, there is one clearly pregnant extremely slim (apart from the bump) lady and another one under question.
There was one female in my department few years ago and people were extremely surprised when she went on maternity leave. But she was huge, probably size 22-24.
My guess is unless the OP was extremely small before pregnancy people still on the guess.. is she..is she not?

Moonlightdust · 27/04/2023 11:06

Ah OP all women carry differently. It’s just we are mostly confronted with pics in media and advertising of perfect round football bumps! I’m sure I probably just looked fat for most of my pregnancies! Don’t take it to hard. People are often really oblivious and don’t observe others. I bet in a few weeks time you will have a very obvious pregnant belly! Relax and enjoy your last few weeks 😊

Moonlightdust · 27/04/2023 11:06

*to heart

Flip

1 2 3