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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I wrong for speaking out at staff meeting today

214 replies

Safarigiraffe · 26/04/2023 22:53

Had a staff meeting today after work, boss goes round asking everyone at the end of the meeting if any of us had any questions or anything to say so I said that staff in a particular room are not doing their part in what they have to do to help us out so then both my bosses tell me to watch my tone of voice & not to mention names (I mentioned no names only mentioned the room in particular) made me feel uncomfortable, guilty & awkward after for saying something. So should I of kept quiet or were my bosses being unreasonable for telling me to watch my tone of voice & not to mention names

OP posts:
CorsicaDreaming · 28/04/2023 07:26

I think you could raise it in the meeting but need to be less direct and confrontational- so you talk about how it affects you and your team - rather than your problem with them...so for future say something more like

"I would just like to raise that we seem to be getting more very last-minute requests and it makes it quite difficult for us to plan our time and deal with matters efficiently. Please can I ask everyone to give us at least two days (or whatever works) notice if they need work doing, and even longer if it is a particularly large or complicated job. That would be really appreciated. Thank you."

And then if they still carry on doing it, go to their line manager and say that despite asking politely in the team meeting, people are still bringing work at really short notice and it's really difficult and ask the manager to deal with it.

I know it's now by the sound of it being raised to a warning for you, but just thought this might help for you to see how you could raise an issue but not be too individual or accusatory to one group.

Jack80 · 28/04/2023 19:01

I would said I need a word after the meeting.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 19:03

Safarigiraffe · 27/04/2023 20:01

Got a verbal warning over this at work & they spoke to me about being unprofessional & it came across as very harsh.

A verbal warning seems a bit harsh for a first offence

momtoboys · 28/04/2023 19:05

Safarigiraffe · 27/04/2023 20:01

Got a verbal warning over this at work & they spoke to me about being unprofessional & it came across as very harsh.

Oh, dear. I guess you'll know better next time.

Saschka · 28/04/2023 19:36

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 19:03

A verbal warning seems a bit harsh for a first offence

Show quote history

I don’t know, they asked if anyone had any questions, and OP essentially said “Yep I have a question. Why are Sandra and Lucy so shit?” in front of the entire department.

It obviously wasn’t a genuine question, it was OP seizing the opportunity to slag off the other team in front of everyone, and management correctly shut it right down.

Cordeliathecat · 28/04/2023 19:46

“I don’t know, they asked if anyone had any questions, and OP essentially said “Yep I have a question. Why are Sandra and Lucy so shit?” in front of the entire department.”

😂

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 19:48

Well, when you put it like that @Saschka GrinGrinGrin

PotatoLove · 28/04/2023 19:56

That sort of issue is better talked about in private with your boss, not in a general meeting. I'd say you've made the situation uncomfortable and hostile now unfortunately.

ActDottie · 28/04/2023 20:40

I agree with others, that was something you should raise privately. I think you just judged the situation badly.

Lollingabout · 28/04/2023 20:44

I hope you are ok OP - please ignore the hypocrites on here enjoying having a go at you. Can I ask if you are autistic by any chance? Autistic friends of mine often find themselves in similar scenarios as you have described as they take things literally (such as your boss’s question) and also struggle to understand certain social etiquettes? Either way I hope you’re not fretting too much and are able to move on. We all make mistakes - if we all looked for new jobs every time we made one the entire worldwide workforce would constantly be handing notices in!

CarrotCake01 · 28/04/2023 20:48

Not unreasonable of you to voice genuine concerns but it doesn't sound like it was done at the appropriate time or place.

Poppingmad123 · 28/04/2023 21:02

Phrasing your concern as @CorsicaDreaming suggested would have been much better.

Although you were meaning the same thing, you said it all wrong and I’m not surprised you got that response. Yours was more an accusation. That gets peoples backs up & does you no favours. Whereas highlighting the impact of others behaviour and asking everyone to be more considerate is a much better request.

Ladyfrog59 · 28/04/2023 21:15

They asked you answered

Ukrainebaby23 · 28/04/2023 21:20

Safarigiraffe · 26/04/2023 23:07

Basically all I said was “just want to say about the xxxx room not to bring us things at the last min expecting us to do it for them”

I've learnt to keep my trap shut at meetings unless it's a really, really , positive comment.

Yes I agree they asked for q and comments, but they don't really want anyone to tell them it's a screw up. Admitting there's an issue would suggest the managers aren't managing well and they defo don't want to hear that. Regards 'tone' I'm a bit deaf and always being accused of using the wrong tone, so for me it's another reason to keep quiet.

Either get a very thick skin, or bite your tongue is my suggestion.

Ukrainebaby23 · 28/04/2023 21:24

Sorry you got a verbal warning, I'd consider a different place to work..

Mangledrake · 28/04/2023 21:27

Ukrainebaby23 · 28/04/2023 21:24

Sorry you got a verbal warning, I'd consider a different place to work..

Are you sure it was a verbal warning - not just spoken advice / instruction? Sorry if that's a silly question. They don't sound like great communicators.

If I were staying there and it was a verbal warning, I'd join a good union.

FlowersEverywherePlease · 28/04/2023 21:42

Safarigiraffe · 26/04/2023 23:07

Basically all I said was “just want to say about the xxxx room not to bring us things at the last min expecting us to do it for them”

How old are you?

YouCantHandleTheRuth · 28/04/2023 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mangledrake · 28/04/2023 21:49

That's unkind, unnecessary, and untrue.

Snugglemonkey · 28/04/2023 22:27

sharpchrome · 26/04/2023 23:03

you need to understand that people asking that at the end of a meeting, aren’t actually expecting questions. It’s like if a colleague asks how you are, you responding with “great thanks you?”. They’re not expecting you to tell them about your life going wrong.

Your manager 100% thought you blindsided them and surprised them with this. It’s not right but it’s office politics. A team meeting isn’t the place to raise this.

This 👏

Walkingintheminefield · 29/04/2023 04:05

Agree with your comment and other advice about OP meeting with manager to say sees why it was the wrong time and place. I have sympathy for OP as assessing whether to take statement literally was one of my weak spots and thus I never really “got” the office politics and protocol games. However having to operate at the level of tight rope walking indicated as necessary by some of the replies would have made me tear my hair out or voting with my feet. Who wants to work in an atmosphere of such fear of speaking out of place. There’s more to life than office etiquette and office politics and I’m glad that some people were kind enough to ask if OP was OK.

Notamumsym · 29/04/2023 05:33

I work for a business whereby though we're treated pretty well, the lower end service staff tend to do alot more work than people higher up who are paid more and though this may not mirror your situation, I voted yanbu as I know how unfair and frustrating it is. I think you were right to specially as you deliberately avoided names being mentioned and I think they were unreasonable to berate you for pointing it out.

Talapia · 29/04/2023 05:42

Safarigiraffe · 26/04/2023 23:07

Basically all I said was “just want to say about the xxxx room not to bring us things at the last min expecting us to do it for them”

Yes, this is definitely something you would ask to see your manager about in private.

Apologise to your boss for speaking out of turn, admit you made a mistake and be more discreet in future.

Talapia · 29/04/2023 05:48

Sorry, I see you already got a verbal warning.

I think that's fair enough, clearly your boss doesn't want you to ever shoot your mouth off at a staff meeting again. Hopefully, you now won't because you are aware there may be consequences.

You also have to consider if the people in room X made a complaint about your behaviour.

It's all dealt with now, so move on graciously.

Whochangedmynamec · 29/04/2023 06:07

In fact when you email it over you can do this:-

  1. positive and complimentary statement, however 2)problem
  2. how it is impacting you- eg work not done, causing you to finish late
  3. solution, give you the work earlier positive future result of solution eg increase in productivity all targets hit etc

It's all about phrasing- instead of Lucy and Sandra are shit- productivity has been affected negatively by the late submission of. Use the passive tense to avoid apportioning blame as you have to continue working with them.