Was I wrong for speaking out at staff meeting today

[Safarigiraffe]

Had a staff meeting today after work, boss goes round asking everyone at the end of the meeting if any of us had any questions or anything to say so I said that staff in a particular room are not doing their part in what they have to do to help us out so then both my bosses tell me to watch my tone of voice & not to mention names (I mentioned no names only mentioned the room in particular) made me feel uncomfortable, guilty & awkward after for saying something. So should I of kept quiet or were my bosses being unreasonable for telling me to watch my tone of voice & not to mention names

Dreadful behaviour on your part, OP. Very inappropriate to whinge about other colleagues in a whole team meeting.

I don't think the manager's reaction was great, but to be fair, they were probably just horrified that you were using a staff meeting to have a public moan about your colleagues and I imagine that they just wanted to shut you up as quickly as possible. They might have realised afterwards that their own handling of the situation wasn't the best.

You really didn't do yourself any favours by choosing that moment to voice your complaints. Your managers will now have an image of you as being a bit of a trouble maker and not a team player at all. That one backfired a bit!!

I'd probably have deflected your comment, OP, rather than criticise you in public. I'd have picked it up afterwards. I'd only have been so direct if you kept going after we tried to stop you.

So when you said

“just want to say about the xxxx room not to bring us things at the last min expecting us to do it for them”

I'd have replied along the lines of "okay, if we need to revise deadlines for any processes, have a chat with your line manager / me outside the meeting about what we can all agree to relieve pressure". Then outside meeting I'd have asked you not to go in for public accusations at group meetings.

Your comment wasn't off-the-scale awful and there are work cultures where it would be normal - I wouldn't think much of them but they exist. Your managers could probably have handled it better. But you know what they meant now - nobody likes to be called out in public. Build connections - don't upset people for nothing.

A good rule to go by, whether you are an employee or an employer..."Praise in public, chastise in private."

I'd probably email / stick my head around the door of room X and apologise - nothing dramatic, just sorry, didn't think that through and realise it wasn't the time or place.

Then at next regular interaction with boss(es), say you're sorry if comment was disruptive, realise now that's not the way issues are handled here.

And move on.

in my experience people don’t move on from this

this is where managers mark your cards and colleagues hold grudges

i think once you’ve got a reputation for being unprofessional, it’s hard to shake

I would probably try to shut it down fairly quickly, and sat something like "OK, not sure that this is the right forum for discussing this but happy to have a chat with you afterwards". And then follow up after the meeting a) to find out what the actual issue is and b) to point out that the full team meeting really wasn't the right place to raise the matter.

Could you be autistic OP? With kindness, it sounds like you would benefit from some mentoring from a more experienced colleague about the unwritten rules and social norms of your workplace.

You should never have directly criticised 'x room' in a meeting. A colleague once did this to my team and the rest of the people there shoved their chairs so far back from the table it left scorchmarks.
If X room are being difficult, then what you could have said was 'we are having some issues with work being brought to us late, perhaps we could agree on a schedule going forward?' But it would have been better dealt with in private.

Also, it's 'have'. Could have, would have, should have. Not 'of'.

It would be interesting if there was a thread on this!

Sound advice!!

This is the sort of thing you have to phrase something along the lines of "What steps are management taking to ensure all rooms are fulfilling their requirements/meeting targets" etc. Then they'd hopefully ask why, and you can say you have some concerns but you'll happy discuss it with them privately.

You were unprofessional and showed poor judgement in the choice you made about how to raise this.

That is really fucking hostile! Definitely not something for an all-staff meeting.

When your boss asked if there were any questions or anything more to say they would have been referring to what was already in the agenda for that meeting. Not an invitation to add new issues. This gives people the opportunity to clarify points that were already discussed. To ask questions because they need further information or didn’t quite understand something in the meeting.

In my experience if you want to raise an issue at a general meeting you usually request to have it added to the agenda before the meeting. And your boss would have had an opportunity to decide whether it was appropriate or not. They may have said no, it’s not appropriate for a general meeting but we can schedule a private meeting to discuss your concerns.

And I agree with pp that what you actually said was unprofessional and hostile.

Oh dear OP. Not the time nor the place. It was personal and unprofessional. You shouldn’t have done it I’m afraid. If you have an issue with someone either raise it directly or raise it through your manager. Don’t name and shame people in front of others.

Yes, you were wrong. Which should be pretty clear by now.
Hopefully, you can see that you were 🤷‍♀️

Maybe depends on the size of the organisation and how young / new you are. Ours is big. There is the odd paragon. The odd stirrer. Lots of people in between who get it wrong sometimes, and lots of moments with new starters that give everyone else a wry smile - and then we do move on.

If you meant it, I can't see that a gentle apology would do any harm. It's a bad state of affairs when you can't mess up once in a career.

That said, I would absolutely step away from this issue now - leave any polite raising, discussing of process etc to your colleagues. It will look like your crusade otherwise. Drop it, apologise, move on yourself whatever anyone else does.

I'd find that a bit stirring too, to be honest. Just bring it to management privately instead of dropping hints and getting people on edge wondering who you're about to drop in it.

As a manager I'd hate this approach: put me on the spot, give me no information, stir up drama for something minor? some big catastrophe? Please no.

You threw a whole room of people under the bus, right in front of them. I'm sure being at work will be loads of fun from now on.

But a good manager should be able to answer the question. Usually in these situations Management ARE aware of the issue, and it may (hopefully) be that they can explain how they're monitoring stuff. If OP could see that they do have their eye on the ball she might be reassured enough to not need to speak up any further. You usually find that in these situations there's other people pissed off about the same thing too, so its also encouraging for what could be a significant number of the staff. If management are oblivious and ask why then she can follow it up. I much preferred it when staff did it this way and gave me the opportunity to explain to the whole team.

I work in place where stuff is brought up with management in private, things aren't communicated successfully to the whole team, and further down the line there's more ill feeling amongst factory floor that some are party to information and decision making and some aren't.

Its a fine line isn't it?

I'm afraid to say that you were totally inappropriate and unprofessional.

You had a grievance against some members of the team and you chose a big team meeting to be openly critical and antagonistic. You should have waited until after the meeting and then discreetly asked your manager for a private meeting to discuss the issues you were having, so that you could seek their advice.

Instead you chose to snitch very publicly and in so doing threw a group of your colleagues under a bus.

I knew someone would say this.

Especially because diagnosed in my late 40s it was exactly the sort of thing I'd bring up in a work meeting. You get asked a question - you answer it truthfully. Work is a minefield with all this professional behaviour. It's two faced, everyone is two faced, why doesn't everyone tell the truth, then we can deal with it.

Highly qualified, can't hold down a job 🤣

I'm actually on disability now because of it. I'd speak the truth, get sidelined or whatever for doing so. Go home and self harm.

If team xxxx are shunting all their work over last minute, and you're doing it for them, then sing it from the rooftops the lazy slow bastards!

No, don't do that. Just keep gob shut next time and understand that the last the the manager wants to hear is the truth.

Nod and smile, roll your eyes, nod and smile. Or actually speak up. It doesn't go down very well.

I learned diplomacy from the Homer school of Simpson Putin.

It's a bit of an unnecessary performance though, isn't it? And sure, I could answer a question about how I'm managing essential deadlines and processes. But the OP's issue might not actually be one of them. She may have no idea of norms and priorities.

Certainly I'd have very little problem with her saying, we are finding we are getting jobs very late - is there something management could do to help? Might seem a bit targeted, might be fair general question.

That's very different from what steps are management taking to ensure all rooms etc etc, followed by oh I can't discuss detail publicly. Mountain out of molehill if there's just one issue, no resolution for OP if her issue's actually comparatively unimportant and manager answers the question asked. As a manager I wouldn't expect a general strategy question on something like this - I'd hope people would have already tried talking to each other, coming up with a proposal.

I'd roll my eyes (inwardly) at an approach I'd hear as what are you doing to solve my secret and possibly very minor problem? Please address in terms of your broader management strategies while everyone else is waiting for this meeting to end.

If I knew of actual problems, I'd address them, but my most likely response would be - drop me an email or have a chat with your line managers about any specifics and we'll pick it up. Less drama. Less fuss. That's my motto anyway.

You raise a good point here: managers in this scenario could do with setting clear ground rules if they want them observed.

And I'd be slow to end a large meeting with a general request for problems and queries. Before the meeting is the time for that.

No perfect work cultures out there I suspect.