Was I wrong for speaking out at staff meeting today

[Safarigiraffe]

Had a staff meeting today after work, boss goes round asking everyone at the end of the meeting if any of us had any questions or anything to say so I said that staff in a particular room are not doing their part in what they have to do to help us out so then both my bosses tell me to watch my tone of voice & not to mention names (I mentioned no names only mentioned the room in particular) made me feel uncomfortable, guilty & awkward after for saying something. So should I of kept quiet or were my bosses being unreasonable for telling me to watch my tone of voice & not to mention names

You know that's going to get back to them right? Someone in that meeting will tell the people you were bitching about them.

Not even just a dog a snarky dig, surely you realised it would make you sound like a whinging ass and create confrontation

Why did you think it was the right time to raise this? Have you not had much experience of these kinds of meetings? It was completely inappropriate and you've probably damaged your standing as a result.

I read it as everyone from all rooms were actually at the meeting. Like everyone was sitting there while she said it, and that’s why it was so inappropriate.

Also, do you work in admin at my place? Because sometimes last minute stuff comes up 😅

@Kanaloa that's how I read it! Like they were all in the room

Which I can understand, but then surely the managers should of said if anyone has any perspectives we will have a private chat ? Surely they should of worded it better themselves.

Yes I also understand that us too should also be wise to how our perspectives could be interpreted

Poor form op-

If this is a real issue then it should not have been raised in that way at that time in that forum.

Genuine question- do you have difficulty in following social cues and norms in the business world? This may something that you want to address and action as an ongoing PD.

The tacit understanding of that question from the boss was to close the meeting. The only real response would be

all good, great meeting
or

yes, I just need a quick word in private if we can schedule time?

I don't know about your tone, but I would have talked to you (probably privately) about your phrasing.

If it was urgent - and otherwise I wouldn't raise at the end of the meeting at all - I'd ask, could we discuss an agreed turnaround for x task so that colleagues can plan ahead and nobody is put under pressure. Something like that.

Your phrasing sounds as if you feel superior to these colleagues and quite dehumanising - the x room. It's a divisive way to talk. You don't come across as a team player interested in solving a problem and building relationships. You could ask for exactly the same thing in a helpful and respectful way.

Maybe ask about training in communication / assertiveness if you can't see what went wrong here. There's a useful skill you could learn if you want to.

You must know when they asked for questions, they don’t mean personnel issues. Anything like that has to be handled discretely. You should have booked a separate meeting to raise this.

Are you foreign and/or young? I am/was both, and had to learn that an honest answer like that is unacceptable in the UK 😅 An open question from a manager at the end of a large meeting is never meant to invite new issues or negative feedback. They only ask because they want to give people the illusion that everyone's opinion is important. Keep it for a private meeting.

That said, "watch your tone/voice" has a shitty, childish telling-off undertone to it. They should know better.

Question for managers, how would you address an employee that did this? As I feel like this is something that could get someone not taken seriously at work, long term.

Surely they should of worded it better themselves.

NC fail?
Other posters on this thread understand that, no matter how they worded it, it was inappropriate to say what you did op. You are now trying to say that it’s somehow the bosses fault for wording it that way, rather than taking it onboard that you misread the situation.

In a professional organisation is reasonable to assume that everyone has the wit to know that personnel issues need to be handled discretely. No they don’t need to spell this out.,

That was inappropriate.
Concerns like that should be raised privately with your manager.

@Agapornis

"An open question from a manager at the end of a large meeting is never meant to invite new issues or negative feedback. They only ask because they want to give people the illusion that everyone's opinion is important."

+++

Perfect explanation, also known as "smile and wave".

You fucked up there, not surprised you were warned.

how do you think that statement made the team in that room feel? Like working harder to help you? Or pissed off that you publicly accused them of slacking?

My department is LARGE. To prevent people going rogue of this unwritten rule, sometimes you have to call a PA who listens to your query before allowing you to speak to the meeting organiser. Sometimes a text Q&A is used with questions being cherry picked.

Oh dear op, I think you were in the wrong there.

Many people see themselves as victims but there is usually a good resson someone is miss/mr unpopular and "be careful around them" in the office....
Being this unprofessional is one of the reasons

You never know though, maybe there’s a culture in OP’s workplace for things like this to happen? I used to work in an office where arguments and confrontation in meetings were rife - definitely a grilling culture

Doesn't really sound like it from the 2 managers reactions though.

You don’t slag off colleagues in a meeting. That’s nasty behaviour on your part.

What were you trying to achieve by saying this? If you wanted to publicly shame them and cause tension then this will be effective but if you want to improve the issue this is completely unhelpful.

I work in a team that gets lots of last minute challenging requests - to start with my approach is professional curiosity. Why does this keep opening? If they’re genuinely unexpected - fine, if it’s a lack of understanding - educate people about what your team does. If it’s still happening think about your processes (set clear deadlines or create points to flag upcoming stuff) and put the decision back on them (I can do X but it means Y won’t happen and they’ll have to tell Y’s owners. Only after all that would g et

It was the wrong forum.