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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how kids had downtime before TV

207 replies

someladdersandsnakes · 26/04/2023 21:06

I saw a post earlier on a Facebook group from someone who had managed to keep their 3 year old screen free, until out of desperation recently she started giving her one cartoon a day so she could put the younger child down for a nap. And she feels she's destroyed her kid's creativity. And most people were saying it's admirable you've managed this long but go easy on yourself because screen time is incredibly helpful and gives your child a chance to wind down too.

Now I see a moderate amount of screen time as pretty much essential to my own parenting. It's not just that it gives me time to get things done without being interrupted. There are also times particularly after a long day at nursery when my DD seems too tired to engage with play, and can't maintain interest in anything and just needs TV/tablet to zone out a bit. And this seems pretty normal/common to me.

So I'm just wondering, before TV was invented (and/or if you're genuinely a screen free parent but I've never met one of those) what did young kids do when they were too frazzled to play? Were they more creative than modern kids and just played nicely anyway? Or did they sit there whinging? What if they were ill? Did they just lie in bed staring into space? I'm a 90s kid and always had TV so I have no idea and cannot imagine this world 😂

OP posts:
AlwaysAuntie · 26/04/2023 21:14

I was outside most of the day, playing with friends in the street (on the path, we never went in the road as it was shark infested waters), or st the swing park around the corner. If I weren't outside I was probably in my room playing with my barbies or quietly reading a book.

I grew up with only 3 tv channels and Children's tv programs were only on a couple hours in the morning, an hour at lunch and from 3:45-5:30 (ish) after school.

Hotvimto3 · 26/04/2023 21:14

I used to draw a lot. We had one tv as a kid and my dad monopolised it. I used to make my own comic book stories too. They were crap ha.

Vallmo47 · 26/04/2023 21:16

I used to read and/or write stories/letters/diary or draw. Or watch normal tv.

Clymene · 26/04/2023 21:16

I was born in the 1960s. We watched tv every single morning before school. I don't know when this mythical before tv age was but it's soon not going to be in living memory.

Perhaps you could encourage your children to take up cross stitch

Skybluepinky · 26/04/2023 21:18

There was hardly any kids programs only lunchtime and after school, I watched after lunch and the just b4 tea.

Hardbackwriter · 26/04/2023 21:18

AlwaysAuntie · 26/04/2023 21:14

I was outside most of the day, playing with friends in the street (on the path, we never went in the road as it was shark infested waters), or st the swing park around the corner. If I weren't outside I was probably in my room playing with my barbies or quietly reading a book.

I grew up with only 3 tv channels and Children's tv programs were only on a couple hours in the morning, an hour at lunch and from 3:45-5:30 (ish) after school.

But isn't OP asking about nursery-aged children?

Theelephantinthecastle · 26/04/2023 21:19

My mum was very anti TV so I grew up basically without any. I don't know what I did before I learned to read but after that, reading was my downtime

EnglishRose1320 · 26/04/2023 21:19

Reading
Writing stories
Daydreaming
Playing in the garden
Playing at the park
Sometimes just being a bit bored

I think when younger we went to our rooms for a rest/to look at a book if our mum needed to get my brother to sleep/feed him.

However I think children have much shorter attention spans these days, due to the excessive over use of screens (I'm just as bad as other parents) so whilst my children do play out nicely if the weather is good, they definitely rely on screens far too much if its a cold, wet day and don't have brilliant attention spans.

maddy68 · 26/04/2023 21:20

I used to read hen I was a child

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/04/2023 21:22

I'm of the era that kids tv ended at about 5.30pm, Saturday there was maybe 10am-2pm kids tv.

I played out a lot. Not really a safe option anymore.

I read a lot. My kids read a lot (alongside lots of screentime)

I rearranged my bedroom a lot Grin

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/04/2023 21:26

Clymene · 26/04/2023 21:16

I was born in the 1960s. We watched tv every single morning before school. I don't know when this mythical before tv age was but it's soon not going to be in living memory.

Perhaps you could encourage your children to take up cross stitch

How, if in the UK? Breakfast TV started in the 80s. I was born in 1958 and there was nothing on TV until the afternoon. Children's TV was from about 4pm until 5.45pm.

mellicauli · 26/04/2023 21:27

They used to have a radio program called Listen WIth Mother which was just awful. If you preferred, you could watch a raindrop roll down the window. Or an ant crawl across a blade of grass. Or a cloud scud across the moon. Or listen to the leaves in the wind. It wasn't as deep and meaningful as it sounds. It was quite boring.

catsnore · 26/04/2023 21:27

I grew up without a tv - my parents still don't have one.

I read a lot! Did crafts. Roamed the fields/went fishing. Annoyed my brother. Listened to stories on tape 😂

My mum just did lots of activities with us like play dough and painting etc.

And yes I totally have a tv now and yes I use it to get 5 mins peace from my kids 😊

Cloudburstings · 26/04/2023 21:27

Pre tv most towns had cinemas that did Saturday mornings kids shows. There was a thread recently reminiscing about the 50s/60s and people posting about being dropped off there to watch while their mum did the shopping etc.

so I think as long as screens have been available people have used them to entertain their kids.

also, other things you mentioned were different. Kids didn’t do ‘a long day at nursery’ in the 1960s, nearly all mothers were stay at home mums.

one angle is life was simpler and kids maybe got less hyped up/ overwhelmed.

another is more unsupervised time - being sent out to play. Which has good sides (freedom, self learning) and bad sides (dangers not managed, bullying etc unnoticed).

another is if more extended family was around they helped out to care for / supervise / entertain kids.

Yet another is the difficulty of managing tired and overwhelmed kids was part of what made authoritarian parenting acceptable.

Being put to bed early so parents had downtime, being forced to ‘play quietly’ and getting a whack if you didn’t.

A LOT if things were different then. Some better, some worse. I don’t think you can separate them out.

RaininSummer · 26/04/2023 21:28

If I wasn't in the garden I would usually be painting, drawing, writing , reading, jigsaws or doing other crafts. I remember that I played with my spirograph. Hardly ever watched TV. Never said I was bored as I would be offered a selection of household chores.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 26/04/2023 21:29

My dc would often be carried at the times you describe, so they would be physically close to me whilst I did things, reassuring, and “busy” watching but not taxing, they’d often zone out whilst I cooked dinner or did jobs like that.

reading books and reading aloud from newspapers (apart or together)
mine often liked simple, gentle repetitive tasks like shelling peas, sorting buttons, washing fruit, kneading dough, peeling vegetables, polishing shoes, all dependent on age and need of course.
listening to music or playing/practising music or singing
listening to the radio
stories read aloud (by a person in days gone by, or a cd etc) my DC like to listen to story podcasts now and they just ask alexa to play them
simple nursery games like yo-yo, marble, tiddlywinks, building a house of cards, spinning tops etc, all easier if you haven’t had a day full of over-stimulation and flashing toys I’d have thought
drawing, sketching, painting and handwriting practice
sewing, mending, darning, embroidery, not something we do much of now but popular in days gone by for idle hands
leading into knitting, crochet, or even simple games like cats cradle, skipping, jacobs ladder
crossword, wordsearches, number puzzles, spoken riddles, treasure hunts
den building, tree climbing etc outside (usually just to sit in the den or sit in the tree being the point!)
writing and telling stories, to yourself or to each other
Taking things apart and putting them back together has been a big thing for my DC and I didn’t expect that! Lot of curiosity on how things work and what’s inside
being creative, moulding, whittling, as easy as salt dough or as complex as sculpture, most ages can take out the days stress on making something and forming something with your hands
lots of cooking, baking, mixing
bathing would take up a lot of time too

Just some ideas!

ILikePizzas · 26/04/2023 21:30

They went outside (yes, unsupervised - gasp!) and got dirt and bugs under their fingernails, in their mouths etc etc and they were just fine. Sometimes I think all the "safe" things modern parents allow their kids to do (TV, pads, softplay) are more dangerous in their own way than making mud pies in the garden unsupervised.

Cel77 · 26/04/2023 21:31

I know my situation is unusual but I grew up without a TV until I was 15, in 1992! My parents were against it.
If I remember, we played A LOT outside (lived in the countryside),and got up to all sorts of things away from our parents' eyes. Chilling meant drawing, playing quietly with toys and reading, reading and reading some more. From a very young age, we had all sorts of books we could access on our own. Later, I used to write stories and daydream quite a bit too. I don't remember ever being bored. I became bored as a teenager because all of the above didn't appeal anymore (apart from reading, which I still enjoy even tough smart phones have taken over!).

Bollockybollocky · 26/04/2023 21:31

We didn't have a telly so I used to watch it at my nans. Well, one great grandmother, two grandmothers, several aunties, uncles and the next door neighbour. I liked telly! They caved in and got one eventually because at least it meant I spent more time at home and they didn't have to suffer the embarrassment of me turning up unannounced at people's houses to watch my programmes.

Augend23 · 26/04/2023 21:33

In terms of older children who were ill, I remember we had a book when I was little called something like "101 things to do in bed" which no euphemism intended. It was a many and varied list of possible low energy games and activities that you could have done while quarantined with measles/chicken pox/mumps etc etc.

I've been trying to Google to find it but keep getting web pages aimed at adults in bed which was definitely Not the theme of the book.

It would have been second or third hand when I was little, I remember it nearly falling apart, so I think probably from the 30s or 40s.

margaritawithaM · 26/04/2023 21:34

In pre-tv times, babies and toddlers didn't go to nursery or get over stimulated going out every day to the insane amount of activities on offer nowadays; they were at home with their mothers and life was much slower. So they didn't need 'wind down' time so much.

Families also lived closer knit, so there were grandparents/aunties/older siblings to look after babies so the load on the parents was maybe not as much? (To need space to do other things)

Suzannargh · 26/04/2023 21:35

TV/screen time is very much linked with ADHD, lack of self-regulation, lack of creativity and inability to visualise things in one’s mind. Society’s already changed so much with a generation having phones and handheld screens as opposed to a family TV.

Clymene · 26/04/2023 21:35

Not in the U.K. @VickyEadieofThigh Smile

wingingit1987 · 26/04/2023 21:36

I’m 35 so kids tv was only on after school/weekend mornings . I think we got sky when I was a teen and that had kids channels but I had outgrown it by then.
I remember playing outside a lot, lots of arts and crafts, reading, writing, kids clubs etc.

during the summer holidays my mum took us out somewhere 3/4 days a week and we always saw our friends.

luckylavender · 26/04/2023 21:36

Clymene · 26/04/2023 21:16

I was born in the 1960s. We watched tv every single morning before school. I don't know when this mythical before tv age was but it's soon not going to be in living memory.

Perhaps you could encourage your children to take up cross stitch

I was born in the 1960s. There wasn't TV in the mornings before school?