To wonder how kids had downtime before TV

[someladdersandsnakes]

I saw a post earlier on a Facebook group from someone who had managed to keep their 3 year old screen free, until out of desperation recently she started giving her one cartoon a day so she could put the younger child down for a nap. And she feels she's destroyed her kid's creativity. And most people were saying it's admirable you've managed this long but go easy on yourself because screen time is incredibly helpful and gives your child a chance to wind down too.

Now I see a moderate amount of screen time as pretty much essential to my own parenting. It's not just that it gives me time to get things done without being interrupted. There are also times particularly after a long day at nursery when my DD seems too tired to engage with play, and can't maintain interest in anything and just needs TV/tablet to zone out a bit. And this seems pretty normal/common to me.

So I'm just wondering, before TV was invented (and/or if you're genuinely a screen free parent but I've never met one of those) what did young kids do when they were too frazzled to play? Were they more creative than modern kids and just played nicely anyway? Or did they sit there whinging? What if they were ill? Did they just lie in bed staring into space? I'm a 90s kid and always had TV so I have no idea and cannot imagine this world 😂

Mine was fully screen free until 3. We have autism in the family and this was something we read about as a good idea to do to avoid dependence and find tools to deflect from the hard moments other than tv

It was hard there were some very easy times as he had to learn to self entertain, I could walk away while he did some sticker crafts etc but at a young age couldn't leave to do anything very 'messy'

He did flick through books looking at the pictures a lot, we were outdoors a great deal, and he napped until a later age than many of his peers, he's still napping some of the time now at nearly 4

We didn't tell friends of his (well their parents) that he was screen free though as it doesn't get an amazing response and we felt it was a personal choice and didn't want to be judged on it (and when you say it most the time I think people think you are judging their choice to use screens)

When I was cooking etc and he was alone he was great for entertaining himself and going to the book corner, but I do not pop the tv on when I'm busy and need peace and it's pretty nice! It is easy to have it creep up on you that it's being used a lot though! Definately if I added it up now having had tv in his world for 9 months I think we started with 15 mins a day or something and now sometimes have an hour and a half without thinking about it

If we were to have a second they would have more tv from the start owing to the older having it, such is life!

I’m a 90s kid and we had very limited Tv. Did a lot of reading, and imaginative play. And we played out on the street all the time (in London!). I don’t think you need TV to calm down

@mellicauli , I loved Listen with Mother! ‘If you’re sitting comfortably, then I’ll begin.’

There was nothing else for pre schoolers then - needless to say I am very ancient. We didn’t have a TV until I was 11.

In was born in the 80s but my parents didn’t agree with tvs so we didn’t have one until I was a teenager! I have no idea what my mum did when we were very small as we were all quite close in age, she had 3 under 5 at one point. I do remember being allowed out to wander the farmyard where we lived from a very young age so I guess my parents found it more acceptable for us to risk our lives outside instead 🤷‍♀️ I was always outdoors as a child and I still prefer being outside now I’m an adult.

Oh, and mum would listen to the wireless, as she called it, so Woman's Hour would be on and I would join her in listening. And Listen with Mother of course. I would also be given the brasses to polish when I was quite small and spent ages with the Brasso polishing. If I complained of boredom mum found me a chore to do.

All these things people are describing, my children do most of them now (other than playing in the street, that’s not safe here). I’m not sure what’s so unusual about them, most children do all this stuff plus have a bit of TV now.

I think the only real difference when you’re talking about really small children who need you right next to them to keep them physically safe a lot of the time, is that now they have TV to keep them (more) reliably in one place when a parent just needs to get on with something, whereas in the past a more literal restriction of playpen/playroom might have been used. I had mine in a carrier a lot (because they wanted me to carry them everywhere but it kept my hands free) which did a similar job

Kids pre-TV would have been less horrendously over scheduled. There was less of an emphasis on using every available minute constructively which means less need to just crash out and rest.

This is me minus the radio 😂 my kids know that ‘I’m bored’ only has two responses -

1. only boring people get bored
2. the opposite of bored is busy. Luckily I have plenty of jobs.

I’m not mean and it’s not as if I think kids should have nothing to do and sit silently in a corner being bored, but my kids (and most kids now) have plenty to do. I don’t think it’s helpful to dance around offering entertainment. They have toys, books, could play with each other. And when there is an enticing offer to clean the skirting boards to stay busy they amazingly find quite a few things they want to do.

I lived abroad where we had no TV, and here where we only watched an hour or so after school.

We read a lot, Played out making dens and climbing trees, drew a lot. Sometimes made stuff from Lego (from imagination, not following instructions). I don't think we played many board games. We used to play follow my leader a lot.

I’m very surprised that no one has mentioned something that I remember as being a key feature of my 80s/90s childhood and that was VHS videos 😂 no there wasn’t constant on demand tv but I and most of my friends IIRC had a video player. On sick days or on days where my mum evidently just needed us out the way so she could crack on with stuff, we watched video after video. Mum used to buy them in charity shops and there were definitely a lot of preschool ones (I know because my mums a bit of a hoarder and kept most of them until very recently!). Thomas the tank, postman Pat, etc. So yes it’s true that we didn’t have Netflix etc but I suspect that some 80s kids had a lot more tv than they may recall thanks to the wonders of VHS.

We did also listen to a lot of cassette tapes, read lots, played out, played with the older neighbourhood kids (one of my earliest memories aged 3-4 was of being pushed round on a trike thing by one of the “big girls” who was maybe 10-11ish so I think she was probably left in charge of me while playing out on the green 😂)

Friend grew up without a TV. She said she used to draw a lot to unwind. You don't need TV to unwind.

Was born late 60s. Pre-school kids didn't need downtime. Their lives were not the hectic whirlwind that they are now. Very few were in full time nursery care. Mist just did a morning or two or playschool once they were about 3.5.
The mornings were spent helping mum with housework, going to the local shops etc (no freezers, dishwashers, automatic washing machines etc so housework took longer and shopping was more frequent). Afternoons were spent perhaps going to the park or going to a friend's house for tea.
All very relaxed and slow-paced.
I remember listening to the radio and once we got a TV when I was about 3, watching the lunchtime children's program (only one available).
I remember being off school ill and the only thing to watch during the morning were the BBC school's programmes.
We used to spend a lot of time colouring/drawing, playing with dolls and Lego and reading.

We have no screens at home at all. My 6 & 3 year old are very good at entertaining themselves. 3 year old plays out in the garden, plays make belive games a lot with the dolls and play kitchen. They both like looking at books and "reading" themaelves the stories. They like colouring, cutting and sticking. Free pamphlets/catallogues/advertisers are great for cutting up.

Pretty normal for 3 and 6 With or without screens at home

I’m finding it really interesting that people are just giving lists of normal things that children do these days as well as in the past, with or without screens in their lives

im a 90s child and we had no tv at home. I did all the normal stuff my children do at home, though mine have a bit of TV at weekends

maybe things aren’t so different after all

We always had a TV (rented!) from when I was born in the late 60s. However. There was only a small amount of children's programming on so it was largely irrelevant I guess.

we used to do imaginative play (which included Lego fights with my siblings across the stairs so probably not what my parents hoped for!). I used to read, play Sindy/Action Man with an older brother, build camps out of scaffolding in the garden, go out on my bike with a "gang" (from about 9). I remember making potions with a brother in the bathroom.

I would say that yes, we probably were more imaginative than kids that have had TV available 24/7 and iPads. Through necessity - we had no choice but to make our own fun. My own kids were small before iPads so have had some need to be imaginative and used to make up games in the garden with their friends etc.

Children are still making up games in gardens with their friends

I read a lot, coloured. Played with my toys. Screen time was a rare thing

Me too. Books, dolls, plasticine (no Play Doh then).

People didn’t ‘entertain’ their kids, boredom was healthy. They had toys and books? Then they they shouldn’t be bored anyway. That was the mindset of my mum anyway.

My dad (born 1928) used to have to help out getting water from the well and feeding the chickens and weeding the garden if he was home and not doing anything. Back in those days, before labour saving devices, everyone had chores to help keep the house running. And then he'd be outside in the village, running about with his mates, or doing errands for his mum.

They didn't miss what they never had, I suppose.

We massively cut down on TV recently as it was turning my 7yo into a monster. I didn't think it was helping to relax or de-stress. It just made her angry and she wanted more and more TV. The stuff she would pick was really awful too. My 4yo was less bothered and often wandered off when the TV was on.

One day we explained we needed to all watch less TV and we would only put it on twice a week for a specific reason (usually a film to watch as a family). The first morning my DD said "can I watch TV?", I explained, no, remember we are trying to reduce the amount of TV we watch, I know it's going to be hard but we are going to do our best. She looked mad for about 5 minutes, then walked off and neither of them now ask to watch TV outside of the specified times. I thought it would be awful but it's been fine. In the morning, they do whatever, they're not tired so they play with toys/read, anything they fancy apart from TV. In the afternoon/evening, they will go in the garden, play games (dominoes, spinning tops, puzzle games) or write/draw, sometimes they will have I friend round. I occasionally get something out to tempt them before I pick up from school but usually I let them figure it out for themselves. It made me realise they had very little unstructured play time, which I think is really valuable. After bath time we read longer chapter books as we have more time to now.

I think the experiment is going well so far but I would have struggled without TV at the 2/3yo age as they can't entertain themselves for long and the dinner/washing/cleaning won't sort itself.

Kids would be outside usually. Either playing or doing household jobs. The idea of a three or four year old playing unsupervised was nothing out of the ordinary. Part of it was the practicality of life, people had larger families and often three generations would be living in one small house. To get some "alone" time or any kind of privacy meant you had to go outside (pre-WWII it was common for multiple children to share a bed, even in the 1960s it still happened).

As soon as screens like Nintendo DS/Wii/cable TV came on the scene it decreased dramatically.

I have a photo of my DC on holiday all crowded round an iPad with friends when on holiday. Before iPads (this was a 1st generation one!) they would have been making their own entertainment.

this is my own experience.