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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sore bottom ruining my life

160 replies

Agonydownbelow · 26/04/2023 18:09

Hesitated about posting this for fear of being accused of being a troll. But I’m so desperate for help I don’t even care about anything anymore. I’m a regular poster etc but obviously any concerns feel free to report etc

I go through spells where my rectum/anus is excruciating. Like I don’t just mean a bit stingy, I mean absolutely excruciating. It’s bad when sitting and walking about but particularly bad when passing stools. It feels like I’m being torn apart and I sometimes wake up from sleeping because of the pain of it. I get bleeding on wiping too (usually red) The painful flare ups last anything from a few days to a few weeks. I’ve been checked for piles and anus fissures during flare ups and it’s been neither. I’ve also had a sigmoidoscopy which was clear. Even though fissures have been ruled out, I still tried things like anusol and other treatments which didn’t help either.

today it was so bad that I was screaming whilst going to the toilet and gripped the wall so hard that 3 of my acrylics and my own nailbeds were ripped off. I didn’t even notice the pain of it because i was in so much rectal pain. I also woke up during the night last night with the area throbbing in pain and I’ve had more red blood on wiping. There’s no obvious irritation externally and piles and fissures have been ruled out by the GP

I’ve been to my GP 14 times for this.Been referred to gastro 3 times. Clear bloods and calprotectin fine. They said everything serious has been ruled out and won’t accept another referral for me, but equally the GP cant help either and said I need to learn to live with it myself (how???) I also can’t afford to go privately for at least 2 years until I save up :(

I’m not constipated (usually the opposite problem) but I tried stool softeners anyway- again no, help. I don’t eat spicy foods or foods that might cause irritation when passing.

please tell me has someone else experienced this and have any advice or things I could try to help this? Im not being melodramatic when I say it’s ruining my life

OP posts:
C4tintherug · 26/04/2023 20:00

Sounds like a fissure to me. You know you cam get an internal fissure so may not be visible to GP?
ask for referral to colorectal surgeon and also try GTN from GP in meantime.

Silentbarking · 26/04/2023 20:00

SaveMeFromForearms · 26/04/2023 19:58

I'm saying that IME it's the action of exhaling that eases it; it was a tip I read on Mumsnet actually if I remember rightly.

I don’t want to hijack the OPs thread but seriously. You’ve never tried the damned inhaler. I said it works for me (and has done for years) and then you say something else works for you but implying that’s why my use of the inhaler works?? Freaking bizzaro world on here sometimes.

bangwhistle · 26/04/2023 20:02

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/04/2023 19:34

God, that sounds horrible.
Whilst you seek professional advice, you might find that nappy cream helps. I had effectively nappy rash induced by exercise and it was excruciating. Used some of my grandchild’s cream and it began to ease it very quickly.
sorry, can’t recall what it was called but it’s yellow, in a yellow tube and begins with M.
Maybe someone here can identify if. It really, really helped.

It's Metanium. Brilliant stuff, I use it if I get a bit of a sweaty jogging rash down there!

bigarse1 · 26/04/2023 20:03

What about bile malabsorption? That can cause the opposite of constipation and can make you really sore? Don't know if it's a daft suggestion?

Starred7 · 26/04/2023 20:03

I’d go down the holistic route - hypnotherapy, acupuncture, reflexology, read ‘the body keeps the score’ and see if you can think of anything that it could be related to. Sounds awful I hope you get relief soon.

SPDNOCLUE · 26/04/2023 20:04

I have a severe IBS and get loose stools often, the only relief I get is from suppositories intended for piles.

The though also made me sick at first, but they are like a tiny waxy tampon. It’s uncomfortable for a min or two.

That should relieve your symptoms but so sorry you can’t find the root cause, you are probably going to be fobbed off with IBS like me. I do find avoiding certain foods like dairy is useful, but I can also eat a plain salad and need to rush to the loo about 10 mins afterwards

Silentbarking · 26/04/2023 20:07

OP can you try a different GP in your practice? I’d be writing a lengthy, detailed letter to the practice manager to see what can be done.

tillytoodles1 · 26/04/2023 20:08

Could it be an anal fissure?

SaveMeFromForearms · 26/04/2023 20:08

Settle down @Silentbarking 🤨

Silentbarking · 26/04/2023 20:10

SaveMeFromForearms · 26/04/2023 20:08

Settle down @Silentbarking 🤨

Go away troll.

Viviennemary · 26/04/2023 20:10

Thats absolutely dreadful GP womt do anything. Im not a medical person but sounds like could be severe piles.

Seas164 · 26/04/2023 20:12

Silentbarking · 26/04/2023 19:54

It is. I don’t bear down. I often get woken up by this excruciating pains and half asleep and in agony does not equate to ‘bearing down’.

Show quote history

Same, it wakes me up at stupid o clock and until this thread I had no idea what it was, nor that my blue inhaler would stop it! Thankyou, what a legend!

Silentbarking · 26/04/2023 20:12

Did your GP not consider ulcerative colitis?

Northernsoul72 · 26/04/2023 20:12

By gastro do you mean a colorectal surgeon? I had a year from hell last year with bottom issues. For the first 6 months I was back and forth to my GP to no avail. I saw a CRS using my husbands medical insurance and he diagnosed a fissure and it was treated. I am truely sorry you are going through this, I know how awful it can be.

LovelyDayz · 26/04/2023 20:13

That's an anal fissure (possibly more than one) I don't care if they can't seem to see it. It's not an easy place to examine.

Tips: soft poo, but not so soft that it's liquid, that will cause you to strain and open the tears. So plenty of water but not fruit or fruit juices, they are acidic and won't help.

Not a high fibre diet. People often advise fibre for toilet trouble but it's the worst advice for fissures so lay off it.

Get a step stool or even a couple of books stacked up to raise your feet slightly when you go to the toilet. It's the best position to be on to poo easily and cause no damage. Lean forward rather than sitting bolt upright too.

Deep breathing and blowing out a long breath gently as you poo. This will allow your muscles to relax as you go. Focus on relaxing all of your body and let the poo just fall out. Absolutely no straining, no gripping anything.

Clean with cotton wool pads and warm water rather than toilet paper. Softer and gentler so it won't cause further irritation. You can buy a sitz bath on Amazon to fit over the toilet to cleanse your bum. Warm water draws blood to the area and promotes healing so 10 minutes a few times a day will help.

Ask you gp for anoheal or similar, an ointment for anal fissures. It doesn't matter if they can't see a fissure. You have every symptom and deserve the chance to try the ointment. It can't hurt you and could just make the world of difference. Stay strong and insist. They're not the ones living with this pain, you are.

Try to keep your chin up. I know it feels hopeless but you can and will recover from this. It won't last forever, you will put it behind you one day and then you'll know all the steps to prevent it from coming back. Good luck.

Silentbarking · 26/04/2023 20:13

LovelyDayz · 26/04/2023 20:13

That's an anal fissure (possibly more than one) I don't care if they can't seem to see it. It's not an easy place to examine.

Tips: soft poo, but not so soft that it's liquid, that will cause you to strain and open the tears. So plenty of water but not fruit or fruit juices, they are acidic and won't help.

Not a high fibre diet. People often advise fibre for toilet trouble but it's the worst advice for fissures so lay off it.

Get a step stool or even a couple of books stacked up to raise your feet slightly when you go to the toilet. It's the best position to be on to poo easily and cause no damage. Lean forward rather than sitting bolt upright too.

Deep breathing and blowing out a long breath gently as you poo. This will allow your muscles to relax as you go. Focus on relaxing all of your body and let the poo just fall out. Absolutely no straining, no gripping anything.

Clean with cotton wool pads and warm water rather than toilet paper. Softer and gentler so it won't cause further irritation. You can buy a sitz bath on Amazon to fit over the toilet to cleanse your bum. Warm water draws blood to the area and promotes healing so 10 minutes a few times a day will help.

Ask you gp for anoheal or similar, an ointment for anal fissures. It doesn't matter if they can't see a fissure. You have every symptom and deserve the chance to try the ointment. It can't hurt you and could just make the world of difference. Stay strong and insist. They're not the ones living with this pain, you are.

Try to keep your chin up. I know it feels hopeless but you can and will recover from this. It won't last forever, you will put it behind you one day and then you'll know all the steps to prevent it from coming back. Good luck.

Excellent advice.

1smallhamsterfoot · 26/04/2023 20:14

First thing I’d do is request your full detailed medical records. I had diarrhoea constantly and went back and forth for years. Found out they’d discovered the issue in 2014!!! And just never told me?!? Discovered it on my med records

Psalmbodytolove · 26/04/2023 20:16

The GP should absolutely be able to give you lidocaine ointment/cream to numb things. I have the same symptoms as you and I’ve been using this cream for years (I believe you may also be able to buy over the counter), it really helps me. I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

Silentbarking · 26/04/2023 20:17

Seas164 · 26/04/2023 20:12

Same, it wakes me up at stupid o clock and until this thread I had no idea what it was, nor that my blue inhaler would stop it! Thankyou, what a legend!

Show quote history

You’re welcome! I suspect some foods can cause this, not always but sometimes. Onions are a strong contender but if you’re anything like me my body has a mind of its own regarding what foods it takes a dislike to!

Getupat8amnow · 26/04/2023 20:17

Are you using moist toilet tissue. One of the ingredients in it can cause an allergic reaction. This can cause the pain you describe as the anus and skin near by become inflamed, cracked and VERY sore. Passing a stool is extremely painful. The hapless person then thinks the pain is caused by not being clean so uses moist toilet wipes even more so a vicious circles starts. This happened to someone close to me. It took over a year to work it out - what was causing it. Instantly stopped using the toilet wipes and it cleared up in a week and has never returned.

Briallen · 26/04/2023 20:18

it sounds like your skin is damaged and not able to repair itself. The skin down there is so delicate. When you poo- are you wiping with toilet roll? A bidet would be best to avoid irritating the skin further. Wiping with paper will ruin any healing that’s managed to occur. Something like Vaseline before you poo to protect the skin might help too. And you might need topical steroids (not for too long though as they thin skin) to help the skin there heal. It might take a few months to heal so I would stick at treating it like this for a while but you have my sympathies- it sounds awful.

Rochyella84 · 26/04/2023 20:22

Doesn’t sound like proctalgia fugax to me. I get this and it’s like a cramp, usually comes on at night lasting a few minutes. It’s agony but it’s not the searing pain like you describe. That sounds like a fissure but it’s odd that has been ruled out. I’m so sorry you are suffering it sounds awful.

saraandcat · 26/04/2023 20:26

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/04/2023 19:34

God, that sounds horrible.
Whilst you seek professional advice, you might find that nappy cream helps. I had effectively nappy rash induced by exercise and it was excruciating. Used some of my grandchild’s cream and it began to ease it very quickly.
sorry, can’t recall what it was called but it’s yellow, in a yellow tube and begins with M.
Maybe someone here can identify if. It really, really helped.

The nappy cream is called Metanium.
https://www.boots.com/metanium-nappy-rash-ointment-30g-10025385

Metanium Nappy Rash Ointment - 30g - Boots

Shop Metanium Nappy Rash Ointment (30g). Collect Advantage Card points for every £1 you spend, or Join the Boots Parenting Club to collect more points when you stock up on Baby essentials.

https://www.boots.com/metanium-nappy-rash-ointment-30g-10025385

SaveMeFromForearms · 26/04/2023 20:30

If you think I'm a troll please report @Silentbarking 🤷🏻‍♀️

GoFasterKnickers · 26/04/2023 20:31

OP - I had similar and was in a painkiller cycle. I was taking codeine for the pain but the codeine was solidifying my stools so I was bleeding every time I went to the loo. Are you taking any painkillers for this?

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