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Original poster

To ask you to share CF in law stories from your weddings?

685 replies

Sconesandgravy · 26/04/2023 08:30

Please share your CF in law stories from your weddings. I need to know it's not just me that has one.

I got married on Saturday. We had a micro wedding for multiple reasons. Our daughter, our closest friend each and their partner, and our parents or in my case parental. No siblings or other family.

My Mother in Law is weirdly emeshed with DH's two older siblings and can't cope if they aren't included in everything.

As we were cutting the cake, and having our moment, She shouts out "Make sure you save a piece for BIL, SIL and grandad!" After we'd served everyone she hacked off a huge messy chunk for them, rather than take the finger slices we'd been cutting rendering the rest of the top tier unusable.

It sounds childish but out of all the "petty" moments of the day this one stuck out the most. I think it's because she "stole" my moment.

I'm sure I'll laugh about it in years to come, but it's been four days and amongst the nastier things she did I am beyond angry. So I'm using MN as a form of catharsis, in the hopes that other people have nightmare in laws 😁

OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 27/04/2023 21:45

I never got a bit of my wedding cake either. Ex inlaws all took it. I don't even think my parents got any and as I said in laws basically paid nothing.

I did have the top teir in the freezer but it was all sponge cake as I don't like fruit cake. I left that when I moved out.

MrsMrsD · 27/04/2023 21:46

Mine were well behaved at our wedding. However my MIL wore black which I found odd. Nobody else wore black. I get the odd nasty comment about food or what I'm eating. She seems obsessed with what I eat. I see it as more of an issue for her then me though. I eat what I like and don't care.

GymBergerac · 27/04/2023 21:50

Not my mother in law, but my step mother, who had a hissy fit when it transpired that we'd booked our wedding for the date that was their wedding anniversary. I hadn't done it intentionally, it hadn't even occurred to me that it might be "a thing" and it wasn't a milestone anniversary where they had a celebration already planned.
She complained that it was wrong that we were getting married on that date because it was "their date" and told me to change the booking.
On the day, they attended the ceremony and left immediately afterwards, before the reception (thus missing my speech where I wished them a lovely anniversary, and had everyone give them three cheers...) For what it was worth, my lovely MIL said for weeks afterwards that she'd have loved it if we'd married on their anniversary, as we could have shared a celebration every year ❤

Original poster
Sconesandgravy · 27/04/2023 21:52

Daffodilmorning · 27/04/2023 21:14

Obviously your MIL shouldn’t have shouted out, but I think it’s completely normal for her to be disappointed that your DH’s siblings weren’t invited. It’s irrelevant whether your siblings were invited or not (I wouldn’t blame them if they were upset either).

Getting married is a huge deal and unless you don’t have a good relationship with your siblings, it’s normal for them to be there.

It was your choice who to invite, but that doesn’t mean no one is allowed to feel hurt by your decision.

I've never disagreed with people being allowed to feel what they feel. But I do disagree with MILs behaviour because if she didn't like our choice she didn't have to attend.

I also disagree with it being normal to invite siblings. Not all family dynamics are the same. And some are incredibly toxic. Like DH's.

DHs family dynamic is that while he gets on with his siblings, it's MILs life mission to enforce equality between her adult siblings to the point the wedding wouldn't have actually been about DH in any way shape or form because it "would be unfair". MIL has forced his siblings into any big achievement or milestone of DHs if his siblings haven't reached that milestone.
He didn't want that on his wedding day. I fully supported that and as a couple we decided to invite people we actually wanted there.

OP posts:
MoonCharged · 27/04/2023 21:59

Grab a cuppa. This might take a while....

  1. My FIL didn't put his phone on silent and it rang during the vows. His ringtone was "highway to hell."
  1. I have three BIL's but one in particular turned up with trainers on and his shirt hanging out.
  1. Same BIL threw a glass outside the hotel and when pulled on it he remarked how it was the staffs job to clean up after him.
  1. Same BIL dry humped some of my female guests randomly after the ceremony.
  1. Same BIL interrupted the best man speech and my dad's speech.
  1. I had 1 baby at the wedding because the mum was BF. Baby was a saint the whole way through but got a bit grizzly during the meal. BIL screamed across the massive dining hall "Give it a vodka... That will shut it up."
  1. Same BIL called one of my guests a posh c**t for buying champagne at the bar.
  1. FIL and MIL and three BIL's all are heavy smokers and went out the dining hall before and after each course was served to smoke rather than waiting... Meaning the waiting staff had to hold back some courses as their entire table was effectively missing.
Beaverbridge · 27/04/2023 22:05

Not in laws but my mother. Came back honeymoon and she announced she'd been in tears because the best man didn't read out the cheesy poems on the wedding cards in his speech. Wtf?.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/04/2023 22:13

My FIL didn't put his phone on silent and it rang during the vows. His ringtone was "highway to hell."

I'm very sorry, @MoonCharged, that must have been incredibly annoying at the time, but for some reason this has made me laugh and laugh.

Tell me nobody has ever married your annoying BIL!

MILofdoom · 27/04/2023 22:18

You have my sympathy OP. Congratulations! We got married last weekend too. Very intimate but fantastic special venue and day. DH very shy so his choice mostly. No parents either side invited. NASTY MIL whom I've actually only ever met once in 8 years 😵‍💫 started with the nasty messages to DH within 24 hours of us coming back. I think she's unhinged but people have told me she's just plain nasty and it shows occasionally on every message but ffs I just wish she would leave me alone. I love the absolute bones of her DS but no one would be good enough. She hadn't been in touch with DH for months (maybe a year) before we got married. CF at its finest!

FettleOfKish · 27/04/2023 22:22

Forgot my manners earlier, congratulations to you OP, and @MILofdoom!

This thread has made me grateful that my MIL is a sweetheart. Sadly quite limited in mobility due to ill health, speaks a different language to me, but respects & adores that I love her son to the ends of the earth and has a wicked cheeky sense of humour too ❤️

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 27/04/2023 22:32

This isn’t a CF wedding story, but all this talk of wedding cake makes me want to confess that I once bought one even though I wasn’t getting married and ate it all to myself.

TasteOfPatience · 27/04/2023 22:33

Oh, where to start...2 weeks before MIL fell out with BIL (her own son) and his wife and made us change the seating plan 2 days before. So, they sat at separate sides of the dining room. SIL complained about the pre ordered meal; she had chosen and had the staff make her something else. That was placed on our bill, which she then didn't eat and went down the road to KFC. DSD 15 at the time had a melt down because she wasn't the centre of attention and made every attempt to make it about her. DH invited work work colleagues, 1 turned up with a tinder date she had literally just met then got absolutely blind drunk. Later on DS partner tried to get me and my husband to pay for his parking fine from the day of our wedding because it was "our fault" he parked where he shouldn't have because of the time of our wedding. Obviously had nothing to do with them being 20mins late 🙄 safe to say if we could started again we would have just done a simple minimal ceremony. x

MoonCharged · 27/04/2023 22:37

BIL is unsurprisingly as single as the day I met him 18 years ago.

eastegg · 27/04/2023 22:39

ZenNudist · 26/04/2023 09:35

Pretty awful not to invite close family but some friends made the cut. In a few years time you may not speak to them life gets in the way friends diverge but a grandpa would have died happier with memories of his grandsons wedding.

I think she wasn't cheeky to say to save the cake. I think you should have planned cake for family who should have been there and not just a "finger slice". Plus she didn't ruin your moment. You are oversensitive.

My MIL invited 6 random guests out of 25 to our wedding abroad. They weren't close family. She said she'd pay I think it cost me £600 which was a lot then. She didn't pay. They didn't give a gift either. She also asked us to get A wedding video which cost £400 for dh ill grandmother who couldn't have come even if we had been in the uk. So we did but she didn't give us the money when she offered to pay. We didn't chase it up. She probably would have if reminded.

I didn't mind though, the extra guests made it more of a party and I don't watch the video but we might be glad of it if we find it one day and can convert it to a watchable file. I think its a cd.

How strange to make the specific assumption that OP’s DH has a living grandfather. I don’t understand why you’ve done that, and singled that person out for particular mention.

RosaBonheur · 27/04/2023 22:44

Not as strange as it would be for MIL to demand they save a piece of cake for his dead grandad, @eastegg.

The OP has made multiple specific references to the living grandad.

MILofdoom · 27/04/2023 22:46

@FettleOfKish thank you 😊 Your MIL sounds lovely! Sounds like a fair few of us aren't so lucky 😔

eastegg · 27/04/2023 22:48

Ah I’ve just spotted the mention of grandpa by the mil in the OP so apologies ZenNudist. Still, you couldn’t have known the whole picture of why grandpa wasn’t there, which I see op has now updated on, so you were a bit gung ho in your criticism anyway

memoriesofamiga · 27/04/2023 22:50

This isn't as bad as some I've read on here but three weeks before my wedding my now ex-h's vicious old Nana rang him up to demand why his dad's new girlfriend (who we hadn't met yet) wasn't invited to our wedding. FIL was a serial monogamist with more short term relationships than hot dinners, so my ex explained very firmly that this new girlfriend wasn't invited for that reason.

I knew nothing about this until a few days later when we visited his Nana who started shouting at me, she'd decided it was my fault for some reason. She had a dig at my parents (who had announced the end of their 30 year marriage only a month before, which she knew, and I was still very upset about as the news was sudden), and implied that my parents shouldn't be going to our wedding either if FIL couldn't bring this new girlfriend.

To his credit, my now exH stayed strong and said no to his Dad's new girlfriend, so his Nana decided she wouldn't come to our wedding at all, and wrote us a horrible letter telling what she thought of me (why me I don't know) that arrived the day before the wedding. FIL had a face like a slapped arse all day, and ex-h's family made it clear they were all unimpressed with us, which is very evident in photos. I was very upset with their behaviour.

eastegg · 27/04/2023 22:50

RosaBonheur · 27/04/2023 22:44

Not as strange as it would be for MIL to demand they save a piece of cake for his dead grandad, @eastegg.

The OP has made multiple specific references to the living grandad.

Cross post. I’ve corrected myself and apologised to ZenNudist.

Thisbastardcomputer · 27/04/2023 22:58

I love a CF thread

Original poster
Sconesandgravy · 27/04/2023 23:02

I do find it fascinating that there are so many comments berating me for mine and DHs wedding choices. Guests, cake, venue size etc.

Considering there are so many threads on MN that talk about how people have the right to spend the money they earn on whatever they want.

It's not like we invited everyone in our lives but our siblings and grandparents so I genuinely am still failing to see the issue 🤣

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 27/04/2023 23:15

SheikYerboutiii · 26/04/2023 14:51

This is after she took a photo of my partner and his sister at our engagement party and kept it by her bed for two years.
She took her own photo of her own children at a party and you're angry at her for that? Eh? Am I missing something? I also cannot fathom why 1 professional photo of her children at one of their weddings would upset you so much. Major batshit vibes of you like.

Lol we have 6 kids, who all have families and lives of their own, so don’t get together all that often, and the eldest started a tradition at her own wedding of having a picture taken of the 6 together. I love that they all carried it on and love being together so much.

Conky1975 · 27/04/2023 23:24

When in labour with my first child, MIL stayed directly outside despite DH telling her it was going to be a while. She only went home when the parking charges got too much - she actually tried to claim parking back due to her ‘son’s baby arriving’.

after pushing and delivery, she burst into the room closely followed by FiL. It was in between baby and after birth so legs still akimbo and room awash with blood (for context). She proclaimed ‘Where is my baby’ only to be ushered out by my very assertive midwife.

Later my SIL introduced my child to her friends by saying ‘OMG, it’s like this baby has 2 mothers - me and her (gesticulating to me) she belongs to both of us’

Truly awful!

Shirls2 · 27/04/2023 23:31

Conky1975 · 27/04/2023 23:24

When in labour with my first child, MIL stayed directly outside despite DH telling her it was going to be a while. She only went home when the parking charges got too much - she actually tried to claim parking back due to her ‘son’s baby arriving’.

after pushing and delivery, she burst into the room closely followed by FiL. It was in between baby and after birth so legs still akimbo and room awash with blood (for context). She proclaimed ‘Where is my baby’ only to be ushered out by my very assertive midwife.

Later my SIL introduced my child to her friends by saying ‘OMG, it’s like this baby has 2 mothers - me and her (gesticulating to me) she belongs to both of us’

Truly awful!

It’s awful but so many friends who gave birth during lockdown said that one good thing about it was that they didn’t have overbearing visitors and have to navigate the family politics of that.

AngryBirdsNoMore · 28/04/2023 00:02

memoriesofamiga · 27/04/2023 22:50

This isn't as bad as some I've read on here but three weeks before my wedding my now ex-h's vicious old Nana rang him up to demand why his dad's new girlfriend (who we hadn't met yet) wasn't invited to our wedding. FIL was a serial monogamist with more short term relationships than hot dinners, so my ex explained very firmly that this new girlfriend wasn't invited for that reason.

I knew nothing about this until a few days later when we visited his Nana who started shouting at me, she'd decided it was my fault for some reason. She had a dig at my parents (who had announced the end of their 30 year marriage only a month before, which she knew, and I was still very upset about as the news was sudden), and implied that my parents shouldn't be going to our wedding either if FIL couldn't bring this new girlfriend.

To his credit, my now exH stayed strong and said no to his Dad's new girlfriend, so his Nana decided she wouldn't come to our wedding at all, and wrote us a horrible letter telling what she thought of me (why me I don't know) that arrived the day before the wedding. FIL had a face like a slapped arse all day, and ex-h's family made it clear they were all unimpressed with us, which is very evident in photos. I was very upset with their behaviour.

Oh dear :( did he stay with the then GF?

AngryBirdsNoMore · 28/04/2023 00:03

Conky1975 · 27/04/2023 23:24

When in labour with my first child, MIL stayed directly outside despite DH telling her it was going to be a while. She only went home when the parking charges got too much - she actually tried to claim parking back due to her ‘son’s baby arriving’.

after pushing and delivery, she burst into the room closely followed by FiL. It was in between baby and after birth so legs still akimbo and room awash with blood (for context). She proclaimed ‘Where is my baby’ only to be ushered out by my very assertive midwife.

Later my SIL introduced my child to her friends by saying ‘OMG, it’s like this baby has 2 mothers - me and her (gesticulating to me) she belongs to both of us’

Truly awful!

What the actual fuck. This is insane.