Recreational drugs after 40

[Inthebathagain]

In the two years, I've become aware of several friends, family and acquaintances who take lines/pills/tabs regularly. Some once a month, some twice a year. And everything in-between.

All walks of life...WFH, SAH, office worker, mechanic, police, care worker, teacher, headteacher. My favourite is the high rolling city worker who gets his gear delivered to his office on an electric scooter under his deliveroo takeout sandwiches.

All these people are aged 40-55.

I had no idea so many people around me of my age were using until one person told me they were, and then it snowballed. I now feel like I'm the rarity not using!

Is this reflective of the people around you too?

Why 40? Surely supporting the illegal drug trade is bad at any age.

No because none of my friends are druggie trash.

Hopefully, it will hasten their death and relieve some of the burden on the NHS.

I don't do either, am I allowed to judge?

There's a big difference between legal and illegal.

Doesn't the misery it causes in the supply chain bother you ?

I mean, there very much is a stereotype of middle-class, "successful" people doing drugs like these. Of course there's also another stereotype of druggy working class people, which I assume is the stereotype you're referring to, but you're firmly within the first one.

Nope. I've never done drugs and have never had friendship groups who did - not even when I was at university. Quite aside from the dangers and ethical considerations, I just find it all a bit distasteful and scary tbh. Maybe mostly because of the illegality. I don't feel the same way about alcohol, in spite of the problems it cause some people. Also, I'm a teacher. I have seen a lot of kids go from doing pretty well at school to becoming hostile no-hopers due to cannabis use. Never seen that with alcohol in teens.

But I think it’s wildly unfair for people who drink every weekend to judge a different way of doing things.

Why? Alcohol is legal and doesn't have the problems caused by production and dealing that drugs do.

I like shrooms, we grow our own and microdose these days. I have never being a drinker but took a lot of ecstasy and acid in my youth. Never liked cannabis. Don't really care what anyone thinks but if we are talking cringey then people getting pissed and louder with each drink, wine/gin o'clock or even worse people with those awful wooden signs with shit about prosecco written on them are cringey to me. Alcohol is awful, seen too many peoples lives wrecked by it and cocaine is becoming a huge problem. I love the outrage on threads like this though. I see 'druggy trash' has been used. Almost defensive isn't it?

I have to say: I personally haven't taken any kind of illegal drug for 20 years. I do think there are some serious ethical issues surrounding the supply of drugs and I think people who routinely do Class A drugs well into middle age are fairly pathetic.

All that said, though, I still can't help thinking people are ridiculously puritanical about drugs on this forum and it's a bit silly.

Every thread on this subject will bring reams of sanctimonious posters out of the woodwork talking about how they would never socialise with anyone whose done drugs, how appallingly boring these people are etc etc.

Yes obviously illegal drugs can be very problematic, people develop dangerous addictions and doing them habitually when you are settled with kids is pretty questionable but it's quite striking how intolerant and hysterical people are on this topic, particularly given how many people drink. And I know that alcohol doesn't have the issues associated with illegality or trafficking/importation etc but still. It's still a highly addictive drug which is incredibly bad for your body.

There just seems a bit of a lack of perspective here. Barring opiates (and opiates are a very special case and I wouldn't touch them with a bargepole), there are people who use illegal drugs recreationally and who don't degenerate into losing their possessions and having their children removed by social services. The PP on the first page got her arse handed to her for what I would describe as fairly moderate and controlled drug use.

It's a bit like we haven't learned anything from the past few decades.

Do you not feel any guilt when you hear news stories such as the 9 year old girl who was caught in the crossfire and killed by a drug dealer? Or the 10 year old boy shot a few years ago and killed in Liverpool again, crossfire in drug gang wars. The ecstacy boom in the 90s was funded by the gangs involved in Brinks Mat gold robbery. Do you not care about the thousands of lives across the world that are ruined by the organised drug trade? In my eyes, any adult that uses illegal drugs, from weed upwards in implicit in all these crimes. You are as bad as every drug dealer in the country. Scumbag.

Is this reflective of the people around you too?

No. I'm not being naive, it genuinely isn't. Most of my friends won't see 60 again and the ones who do take drugs are on are prescription drugs such as statins, blood pressure drugs, diabetes drugs, cancer drugs, PPIs etc, or legal drugs like alcohol, but not in excess.

I know I will get many mumsnetters telling me that most people take illegal drugs, but it depends entirely on your social circle. My friends don't.

"Maybe they should think about the harms the drug supply chain causes to millions. And not just coke."
No, not just coke.
How and by whom are things like coffe, cocoa and sugar - to name a few - harvested ? All these supply chains are rife with exploitation and often child labour. What about our clothes ? Marble from India or blue stone from Vietnam ?
Anything we consume or even buy has a negative side. The so called ethical labels are just to appease the consumer. Many documentaries on all these topics exist.

@Thepeopleversuswork

I think there are many posters on this thread that would be surprised to learn that some of their friends are taking illegal drugs.

They just haven't told the poster, as they know the judgemental response they get.

I know probably two people who like a bit of coke on a night out. About 4 people who like pills maybe twice a year at a big gig/festival/dance music event. And I know about 4 people who smoke a bit of weed. I think that’s it. The majority of my friends and acquaintances over 40 aren’t using drugs. Though I know dozens of people who drink too much on a regular basis!

This thread is hilarious.

I hope none of you sanctimonious lot ever purchase via Amazon, shop in Tesco or Asda, drink Coca-Cola, eat Nestle products, buy Nike trainers, clothes or goods manufactured in Asia, drink coffee or eat chocolate that isn't ethically sourced or traded.

If any of you own any gold you're treading on very thin moral ice.

Maybe...

It's odd though: it's more a reflection than a judgement on my part. I think people have become more moral majority about this in recent decades and I don't really understand why.

I came of age in the early 90s and some of my contemporaries took vast amounts of illegal drugs. I didn't do that many then and I do none now but almost everyone I knew dabbled occasionally. I don't think it was great, I certainly wouldn't want my child to do it and it was probably a bit of a moment in time and demographic-specific etc.

But I still think people have become weirdly purse-lipped about it these days.

I think the whole business of ethical sourcing is quite a weird angle on it in a way. It's true that the trafficking of drugs is illegal and dangerous but its odd that people now focus much more on this than the health dangers (which are considerable if you take drugs excessively).

Nobody in my inner circle takes drugs. I certainly know of several who do. I don’t judge them actually. I don’t and won’t so I deliberately don’t go to places where I know there will be any. Couldn’t care less what other people ingest in their free time- however, I wouldn’t get in a car with anyone on any substance.

I find that taking drugs is cool up to a certain age then it starts to look bad - people age faster, maybe act younger than their age or hang out with younger people. It might affect employability and they might just turn into assholes. I know a few normal people who relax with drugs- the same as social drinking. It’s the quantity and frequency that makes the difference.

Never done it myself but been surprised at how many people do too. Teachers, lawyers, estate agents, media world, some of my neighbours. All middle class. I sometimes feel like an anomoly too!

Im 43. Most people I know my age dont touch anything. Maybe just alcohol. However there are a group of about 3 women im friends with thru work who are bang at it at any opportunity, and thier partners. Its embarrassing I think. I dont even know how its still fun after all these years.
I tend to see them infrequently and if i do i always suggest a brunch meet up as honestly a wiff of alcohol and its the same old thing its been for years. I dont drink a lot or take drugs. I havnt been out out with them for years but last time I did I was driving and VERY concious of the swinging jaws and sweating and noticed that a lot of the other people in the bar were too. I found it embarrassing. They are older than me

I think there are many posters on this thread that would be surprised to learn that some of their friends are taking illegal drugs.

They just haven't told the poster, as they know the judgemental response they get.

Maybe. I doubt it with mine tbh. And they wouldn't expect a judgmental response from me - I have never expressed strong opinions about drugs to any of them, because it's not something that really comes up if you don't move in circles where it's a thing. The only time I ever have cause to talk about drugs is in a school PSHE context tbh.

I recently cut out from my circle of friends anyone who does drugs.

I was very common in my friendship circle in London, which included highly paid professionals in responsible jobs, and I used to be more liberal about it.

But I have now decided it is a red flag/boundary for me after having a couple of unpleasant experiences with acquaintances who pretty much became addicted which affected their behaviour.

I don't use drugs and don't want to be around anyone who does.

Waste of money and support a very unsavoury trade.

Also rather pathetic when you become middle-aged...

It wasn't a thing for me in my circle until the first person mentioned it because of an incident with teenagers at a wedding. Which led to another person talking to me about their irregular use.

And from there, more and more people dropped it into conversation over the last two years.

Maybe I now come across as less judgemental, as the people around me haven't changed!

I wasn't bothered they were using, their call, but was wondering why it had never come up in conversations before. 🤷

Standing back and counting the number of people who'd spoken with me....I wasn't expecting the number to be as high as it was.

Never taken the notion to try drugs (apart from alcohol) and never will. No idea how the stuff has been cut. Best left to the fannies of the world.

I'm 60 and many I know around my age are weed/hash/inventive vape smokers, some still take a bit of class As and also drink alcohol, though none to excessive levels.

Generally, enough I know also grow and without exception, none I know are involved in criminal networks - just grow for those without the space or possibility of growing their own themselves. Not London.

I honestly thought that the after-dinner lines of coke had died out by the late 90s - seems not, there's still people with more money than sense that waste their money on such things.

This doesn’t reflect my circle of friends at all despite many being recreational users in the 90s at uni.