Recreational drugs after 40

[Inthebathagain]

In the two years, I've become aware of several friends, family and acquaintances who take lines/pills/tabs regularly. Some once a month, some twice a year. And everything in-between.

All walks of life...WFH, SAH, office worker, mechanic, police, care worker, teacher, headteacher. My favourite is the high rolling city worker who gets his gear delivered to his office on an electric scooter under his deliveroo takeout sandwiches.

All these people are aged 40-55.

I had no idea so many people around me of my age were using until one person told me they were, and then it snowballed. I now feel like I'm the rarity not using!

Is this reflective of the people around you too?

Absolutely. It's verboten in my household because DP has a history of depression and has ADHD and has to find natural sources of dopamine and seratonin. He knows perfectly well how badly those drugs have affected him in the past.
likewise he wouldn't take speed because as someone with ADHD it's too easy to get into and rely on it to aid 'normal' functioning.

Word of warning almost ALL of the people we know that took/take recreational drugsare getting or are already divorced (50 plus now)

It seems to cause dry rot in relationships. Lack of standards, respect or morality doesn’t sit well later in life. The husbands usually carry on, wives end up devastated having lost everything including their health. It’s grim and not fun watch.

I'm not sure it does do this tbh. I know plenty of happy ex ravers! I think using mdma regularly when you are older probably means you are depressed anyway.

It might not do this in the long term but it definitely does in the short to medium term.

I think pretty much everyone I know took some sort of drug in the early 90s and I only know one divorce! The people I know who still take drugs in their early 50s are not happy people however.

No, I'm thinking of someone who doesn't generally have the money/ability to take care of their appearance and thus loses teeth and doesn't have the same appearance as someone middle class, and that's where the difference is, if you look better, have nice shiny white teeth and a decent hair cut and a city job but a weekend coke habit it's all good, no matter the impact on others.

But smoking does have an impact on your teeth and gums, not specifically weed but smoking in general.

God forbid you would do something as low class as go TO A PUB.

This is how I imagine parties at your friends, all chatting about how excellent the organic Brie is while necking loads of chemicals transported across the world up some poor trafficked women’s crevices.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/9k8ypz/brieing-is-a-new-trend-where-middle-aged-women-eat-mdma-wrapped-in-cheese

You sound very judgey, OP, and many others here do too.

Taking some drugs when you're older is often a conscious decision and not, for example, the result of peer pressure. These are people who want to experiment, who tend to be mature enough to use sensible doses, and as a result avoid the worst effects these drugs can have. That's not to say that some are not heavily addicted, but it's not common.

It's also worth noting that many of these drugs (psychedelics in particular) have been proven to have excellent effects on many things, from productivity to improved mental health, when taken with the right mindset and in the right setting. I want to try them for those reasons. The problem is finding an ethical supplier - this is where in my view, the issue is. But the act of taking drugs in itself is not "cringe", or wrong, as some of you have described.

I know a lot of cannabis users but no heavy drug users (or pills/cocaine/heroin etc). Cannabis is fairly common in this area though, you get idiots on the school run smoking it. Can smell it a mile away, I don’t understand how they’re allowed to collect their children like that.

ah you definitely fit the stereotype. 'Successful' dickheads was literally in the op.
Take it from me, your dealer makes jokes about charging you more and giving you less.

Well, its not 'proven', but yes there's been some positive research.

Did you not see the Shein thread? I rather got the impression that most people don't give a monkeys and anyone that says otherwise is set upon with delighted retorts pointing out that whatever hardware you're accessing mumsnet on will also have been produced in sweatshop conditions using materials sourced/ mined hazardously by child slaves. Or even if you eat chocolate.

Obviously you need to wear clothes and the way society is built now basically requires a mobile phone. For managing appointments, getting jobs,
schools expectations of contact - no more having a kip in the san for the day because no one can reach your parents etc. You don't need to take drugs or eat chocolate.

This...

No you’re right and to be fair my DH and I have gone 5 years and then 7 years without anything, so I wouldn’t even really say once per year but I think it’s wildly unfair for people who drink every weekend to judge a different way of doing things.

Drinking isn't illegal and linked to human trafficking though 🤷‍♀️

Blimey

The judgement on this thread.

I'm on prescription meds so can't take anything interesting, don't have skin in the game but....such strange ideas about those who do.

Yep the majority of my social circle are all over 40 and still do it most weekends! I stopped years ago and i really don't get the appeal anymore but its their lives to risk!

That should have been quoting @Bapbap ... In response to the poster who said getting off their face on drugs was preferable to being hungover 🤨

I didn't see the Shein thread but the deja vu of middle age is annoying

I remember this discussion from my 20s, about other shops.

Maybe it's nice to take drugs to forget all this? It is very tedious watching the same crap going on.

DH and I dabbled when we were much younger, pre DCs.
Now, occasionally, we come across people our age, in their 40s, who get ROARING drunk and take coke every weekend. They are always assholes.
We were at a party after Christmas, at our neighbours', where another couple from up the street were giggling and going into the downstairs loo, off the kitchen/diner, regularly. They'd necked 2 bottles of wine each by 8pm too. They looked and sounded RIDICULOUS and their dcs and others were at the party. It was so sad, she kept telling stories of times when she had blacked out and how funny it was. I thought from years ago, but actually from the last few months. She was loudly and openly mocking me for being a square, actual words she used 🙄, because I stopped after 2 glasses of wine. She kept trying to sneak more alcohol into my glass when she thought I wasn't paying attention (it was in my hand).

Tbh I don't think most people who use drugs recreational or otherwise give two shits about those caught up in the supply chain! It simply doesn't cross their minds.

I know maybe 2 people close to the age of 40 who do recreational drugs. Nice people. Good jobs but kind of lost in life other than that, as in no savings, no relationship, no long term plans, lots of talk about big things they're going to do soon that never happens.

I don't think anyone in my , very small, friendship group take any. I think that drugs are generational though. The worst we did was weed but we do tend to drink more.

So you just take a party drug and sit in a house like a bunch of teenage losers? And you're encouraging this as a fun activity?

I got all that out of my system when I was 19. I'm actually mentally developed enough now to have fun without needing to feed into the very bleak world of violence and trafficking that comes with drugs. Trying to justify it by saying you don't drink and are healthy just makes you deeply ignorant of the damage drugs do to the people involved in transporting, buying and selling them. Let's hope none of your kids follow in mummy's footsteps and get into the industry!

It is interesting though. The people I mentioned upthread are constantly moaning about the eruption of youth violence in our town. It is real, it had increased. It is widely known to be linked to County Lines, she knows this and works in education. She does t put 2 + 2 together.

Why shouldn't people who take drugs and indirectly support human trafficking and other crimes be judged?