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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If your kids go to private school how much do you earn?

217 replies

TimeDrainer · 26/04/2023 00:14

Just curious. Dd1's school fees are 12000 a year and our combined annual net house hold income is about 120000. We also have Dd2 whose nursery fees are about 1100 and a mortgage of about 800 a month. We are in the North of England. I wonder how this compares to other parents who send their kids to private school.

Most parents at dd's school are consultant doctors and probably earn substantially more than us. No need for violins by the way. I know we are hugely privileged. I do worry sometimes whether we can afford it and that is probably my aibu.

(We made a snap decision to send DD to private school as she was so unhappy at her local school and back then we thought if we have some disposable income the most sensible thing to spend it on is DD's school If it makes her life a bit easier. ).

OP posts:
AngryBirdsNoMore · 26/04/2023 00:16

TimeDrainer · 26/04/2023 00:14

Just curious. Dd1's school fees are 12000 a year and our combined annual net house hold income is about 120000. We also have Dd2 whose nursery fees are about 1100 and a mortgage of about 800 a month. We are in the North of England. I wonder how this compares to other parents who send their kids to private school.

Most parents at dd's school are consultant doctors and probably earn substantially more than us. No need for violins by the way. I know we are hugely privileged. I do worry sometimes whether we can afford it and that is probably my aibu.

(We made a snap decision to send DD to private school as she was so unhappy at her local school and back then we thought if we have some disposable income the most sensible thing to spend it on is DD's school If it makes her life a bit easier. ).

Sorry what’s your gross household income rather than net?

Tigofigo · 26/04/2023 00:22

Our gross household income is significantly less than your net (about 90). We live in an expensive area.

We're considering it because DC is really struggling at their state school. But we have two DC and can't really send one and not the other.

We won't have anything spare after essential bills and fees really. Not sure what we'll do in the holidays as won't be able to afford clubs!

Original poster
TimeDrainer · 26/04/2023 00:28

AngryBirdsNoMore · 26/04/2023 00:16

Sorry what’s your gross household income rather than net?

Show quote history

Sorry. I got it mixed up. I meant our combined gross income is about £120k. So that's just our salary.

OP posts:
Original poster
TimeDrainer · 26/04/2023 00:32

Tigofigo · 26/04/2023 00:22

Our gross household income is significantly less than your net (about 90). We live in an expensive area.

We're considering it because DC is really struggling at their state school. But we have two DC and can't really send one and not the other.

We won't have anything spare after essential bills and fees really. Not sure what we'll do in the holidays as won't be able to afford clubs!

Our gross is 120k. I always confuse gross and net (looks like I could have benefited from a better education rather than my kids...)

We have the same problem that now that dd1 is going private we will have to send Dd2 as well though I think that Dd2 with her personality would do better at a state school. We are thinking of pushing it out a bit so Dd2 might start (like dd1 did) at our local state and then move in year 3-4 to private... If we can still afford it then.

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 26/04/2023 00:38

I'm not sure your gross income helps as it's a relative to respective tax thresholds which have obviously massively disimproved.

The straightforward answer is significantly north in gross terms but the new tax thresholds make the actual tax home how we all pay for it. After other discretionary income. School fees have gone up but the consensus is we will stop holidays, eating out, and other economic measures before we would remove them to a new school, one child is SEN and the other requires no educational assistance but they go to the same school. Both would suffer (at a first world level) if they had to go to other heavily over subscribed state alternatives. A lesson in reality might be useful though...

It comes down to affordability and family priorities. What can you switch off to keep them in the school? How important is it to you/them motivationally? If low I would question the wisdom

KaihahUmoniiv · 26/04/2023 00:41

Our household income is a lot less than yours but we only have one DC and out mortgage is lower. Overall I think we are paying about the same proportion of our income on school fees plus mortgage as you are. It's tight but doable.

Do factor in an assumption that fees will rise on average 5% a year. Sometimes more.

lirpp · 26/04/2023 00:43

Our household income is around £300k but we do have a huge mortgage (pay about £4K a month oh mortgage)

DH does all the official stuff like mortgage, school fees etc and my money goes towards fun stuff like holidays, clubs, etc

TheThinkingGoblin · 26/04/2023 01:04

TimeDrainer · 26/04/2023 00:14

Just curious. Dd1's school fees are 12000 a year and our combined annual net house hold income is about 120000. We also have Dd2 whose nursery fees are about 1100 and a mortgage of about 800 a month. We are in the North of England. I wonder how this compares to other parents who send their kids to private school.

Most parents at dd's school are consultant doctors and probably earn substantially more than us. No need for violins by the way. I know we are hugely privileged. I do worry sometimes whether we can afford it and that is probably my aibu.

(We made a snap decision to send DD to private school as she was so unhappy at her local school and back then we thought if we have some disposable income the most sensible thing to spend it on is DD's school If it makes her life a bit easier. ).

Your combined salaries are borderline for two kids in private schools.

If you factor in average tuition inflation of about 5% per annum to the fees and costs, would you be able to cover the fees for two kids over the next 10 years?

Wenfy · 26/04/2023 01:38

Our basic gross salary is just under yours and with bonuses it boosts up to 150k+. We have 300k+ invested but we fund using our salaries - works out to just under £23k per year for 2 (ds is 3 and will be starting this year). I negotiate heavily for discounts and often find paying a year in advance does the trick.

To keep costs down I never pay for new school uniform if I can help it (it’s always second hand), I only enroll into afterschool classes from year 1 (when it’s free), and pay for all non-school activities using the child tax savings account. We don’t take expensive holidays but do go away quite a bit for short breaks - probably spend £2-3k a year max.

We do have a smaller house than others I know (it’s still a 4 bed) but that means our mortgage payment is only £1500. So we can just about afford it on basic salary and so our bonuses get to be saved and used to negotiate lump sum discounts for the following year.

Wenfy · 26/04/2023 01:39

Wenfy · 26/04/2023 01:38

Our basic gross salary is just under yours and with bonuses it boosts up to 150k+. We have 300k+ invested but we fund using our salaries - works out to just under £23k per year for 2 (ds is 3 and will be starting this year). I negotiate heavily for discounts and often find paying a year in advance does the trick.

To keep costs down I never pay for new school uniform if I can help it (it’s always second hand), I only enroll into afterschool classes from year 1 (when it’s free), and pay for all non-school activities using the child tax savings account. We don’t take expensive holidays but do go away quite a bit for short breaks - probably spend £2-3k a year max.

We do have a smaller house than others I know (it’s still a 4 bed) but that means our mortgage payment is only £1500. So we can just about afford it on basic salary and so our bonuses get to be saved and used to negotiate lump sum discounts for the following year.

*150k for me and 150k for DH with bonus

NoviceGardner · 26/04/2023 01:59

Gosh this is an interesting thread. We have a joint income of about 140k (plus bonuses but not sure what they will be yet) and I feel like we could no way afford private school. We have a fairly high mortgage and other outgoings though. Also, we live in an expensive part of the country and private schools near us seem to be particularly expensive.

Leftlegwest · 26/04/2023 02:08

I feel this is quite area dependent. Private schools here are around £6k+/term at prep level. For secondary you are looking at around £10k/term.

We have three children and our combined income is about £100k so obviously can't do it. By the time they are at secondary there is just no way we could afford it, although if we were a few years ahead in our career now we might have been able to for prep.

Jackienory · 26/04/2023 02:22

My daughter was being bullied ( violently attacked ) at her state school so on advice we sent her to local independent. Joint income of £125k but we had no mortgage or debt. She’s now taking her “A” levels at college - her choice.

The difference between the two schools was shocking. It shouldn’t be like that but that’s the reality of it. The big drawback is the cost. It is very expensive. But worth every penny.

Flatandhappy · 26/04/2023 02:48

My entire net salary went on school fees, DH’s obviously much higher income covered everything else. This worked fine until I got cancer and couldn’t work for 18 months! The good thing was that we were down to one school child at that point, the bad thing was she had just moved to a school where the fees were double those of her old school and because we were new parents didn’t feel that we could ask for fee help. Make sure you have income protection if paying school fees is tight.

Daisychained8 · 26/04/2023 06:53

I have two children attending at the moment. I teach in the school so they go for free. A life hack 😂

PurpleFlower1983 · 26/04/2023 06:57

Your income seems quite low for 2 children in private school. Will you be able to sustain it if the fees go up significantly for example? What about overseas trips? etc.

user4750 · 26/04/2023 07:01

I don’t think you can afford it. I have two at an independent which is at the cheaper end at £18k a year. That’s £36k a year (plus all the extras) that we spend out of our taxed income on school fees. That’s over £60k a year out of our gross income going straight to school fees. Fees increase by roughly 7 percent a year in normal years. Ten percent for next year due to high inflation.

Our income is much, much higher than yours and it’s still a lot of money to pay in our view. Most parents are doctors, lawyers or business owners. The vast majority are doctors.

DIYandEatCake · 26/04/2023 07:02

About 60k before tax. I’m using some savings (I was lucky to inherit the equivalent of 3 years’ school fees), a bit of help from grandparents and we’re living extremely frugally. It’s totally worth it though - dd is autistic and often mute, and was horribly bullied at primary school. She’s thriving at her new school, which is really small and nurturing. I’m currently job-hunting though to try to earn more by the time my younger DS is secondary age in case he wants to to go a private school too.

UnsureSchool32 · 26/04/2023 07:08

Our combined net income is about £110k. But I’m self employed so I take about £50k net as income from my business but I also make additional pension contributions on top but that’s out of my business and separate to the £50k net.

our fees will be c£30k for both (one prep one seniors with a small scholarship).

we pay out of income but have savings. I’ve tried to negotiate paying ahead, school have said that’s fine but we’d have to pay the fee increases.

Emotionalstorm · 26/04/2023 07:09

Our joint household income is roughly over £2M (excludes profit from investments and dental income). I don't earn that much, it's mainly from my husband who has been quite lucky over the last couple of years (he's best friends with someone who ascended very quickly and took him up the ranks with him). We will be sending our little one to private school in September. She got in the school I wanted her to go to as my first choice and I couldn't be more proud of her. It's only £5.5k per term so I don't think we will make any adjustments. We wouldn't send her to private primary school if we couldn't afford it comfortably.

Emotionalstorm · 26/04/2023 07:10

Rental *

Didimum · 26/04/2023 07:15

NoviceGardner · 26/04/2023 01:59

Gosh this is an interesting thread. We have a joint income of about 140k (plus bonuses but not sure what they will be yet) and I feel like we could no way afford private school. We have a fairly high mortgage and other outgoings though. Also, we live in an expensive part of the country and private schools near us seem to be particularly expensive.

Same. We’re on combined 150k and there’s no way. We have high mortgage, but other than that most outgoings are fairly low - one 15yr old car, never taken the kids on holiday abroad, or gone ourselves in six years now. We have a nanny who costs us 16k a year, but that wouldn’t pay for private school for one, let alone two. We do spend on house renovation, but very piecemeal.

Seaweasel · 26/04/2023 07:15

😅I was eating my breakfast and pondering what a dental income was! My teeth are probably worth a few quid but not enough to put DCs through school!

Emotionalstorm · 26/04/2023 07:17

Didimum · 26/04/2023 07:15

Same. We’re on combined 150k and there’s no way. We have high mortgage, but other than that most outgoings are fairly low - one 15yr old car, never taken the kids on holiday abroad, or gone ourselves in six years now. We have a nanny who costs us 16k a year, but that wouldn’t pay for private school for one, let alone two. We do spend on house renovation, but very piecemeal.

Show quote history

May I ask if your nanny works full time. We pay quite a lot for ours and I just wanted to know if we have been ripped off.

manontroppo · 26/04/2023 07:20

Household income of just under 200k here and we couldn’t afford private for two. Senior schools are around 6k a term here. We made a conscious choice to buy a bigger house rather than private school - we had paid off mortgage in our old house.

I don’t think private is worth 20K a year, and I don’t like the idea of what it would do to the relationship with my children - if I am paying that, I absolutely would feel that I wanted my kids to come out with a string of high grade IYSWIM?