If your kids go to private school how much do you earn?

[TimeDrainer]

Just curious. Dd1's school fees are 12000 a year and our combined annual net house hold income is about 120000. We also have Dd2 whose nursery fees are about 1100 and a mortgage of about 800 a month. We are in the North of England. I wonder how this compares to other parents who send their kids to private school.

Most parents at dd's school are consultant doctors and probably earn substantially more than us. No need for violins by the way. I know we are hugely privileged. I do worry sometimes whether we can afford it and that is probably my aibu.

(We made a snap decision to send DD to private school as she was so unhappy at her local school and back then we thought if we have some disposable income the most sensible thing to spend it on is DD's school If it makes her life a bit easier. ).

Sorry. DH is in a view that we cant afford sending 2 DS in private school unless we make sacrifices. My point was even at that level, we've had to think about private school fees. Living in London is expensive but living in London comfortably is extortionate.

(that's why I am on this site)

mrslondoner I'm struggling to understand how a family who bring home £21k a month and receive an annual bonus of £500k a year has to consider anything when it comes to paying school fees.

As some have pointed out, remember that grandparents etc are often paying for some or part of school fees, so simply guessing at parents' income at target schools won't give you the full picture.

@Heatherbell1978 indeed. Clearly other priorities... Which is fine. But that's not the same as couldn't afford. That bonus must be going on something else instead!

£1.5k a month on utilities? Does your water, electricity and gas get hand-delivered by a butler? Is your boiler made of gold? Genuinely curious how they can get that high!
Our water, electricity, gas, broadband, council tax come to about £500-£550 a month in a 4-bed.

We have a draughty, 4 bed Victorian house and our utility bills were hitting £1k a month last winter. Though I refuse to be cold so took the hit. Also we had a very inefficient boiler which we’ve now replaced and they’ve come down a bit.
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I have a few friends with household incomes between 50-60k who afford private school for their dc. Two of the families have only dc for this reason. Both stayed in semi detached decent size 3 beds instead of upsizing to detached. Both holiday locally with a rental cottage once a year. One family's dc is 8 and the other is 6 and both have been on a plane once - both cases were to stay with family, not hotels etc. They eat out no more than a few times a year and have reduced their mortgage payments to make it work, accepting it will take them much longer to be mortgage free and they won't upsize. They both say it is just like continued FT nursery fees so they make it work with the slight added complication of adding in summer care. One has grandparents who help with that, one doesn't. One is a single parent who works in the NHS as a nurse (obviously a higher band) and the other is a couple. There is a lot they don't spend on to make it work. Dc do 1 activity outside of school. Parents don't have their own hobbies. They aren't renovating their homes.

The others have a 60k combined income and afford 2 dc in private school. One person's whole salary goes to fees and they get a small discount due to their income (I think it works out to a 25% reduction per dc). They have one car and carpool to work with one then taking a bus the remainder of the distance. Their car is 15 ish years old. They don't live in an area that people would associate dc going to private school. They are in a very small terrace - think 2 up, 2 down.They don't holiday. DC are in year 8 and 6 and they've never been abroad. They live to principals of minimalism and are frugal in every way like making their own bread and yoghurt, making mostly vegetarian meals. They haven't eaten out in 5 years. Weekends are spend doing only free things. There's no money for hobbies but their dc's school provides lots of opportunities.

All of these friends feel they have made the right choices for their dc and knowing them very well I would say their dc are all thriving.

Interestingly the catchment for my local primary has a much higher average income than any of those families. So I don't think the decision is simply income based. I have many friends with household incomes of 150+ whose dc are in state school. One family has 5 horses, holidays a few times a year, has personal trainers for both parents weekly at a cost of 60/hr, massage therapy weekly, new cars every 4/5 years, couple weekends away at least 3x a year and would say they can't afford private. Another friend who laments they can't afford private school lives in a 5 bedroom detached house and drives a vehicle that is 100k. They have a second property - holiday let and a boat. None of these state school families represent the average families, nor my family, just sharing there are many people who could but choose not to.

Like many things there's circumstances (the case for many of us who can't fund private school no matter what we do), there are choices related to what we spend on and everything in between.

Me too. I have my two starting next academic year. Salary combined is over 100k.

In my experience you need to be extra wealthy or poorish because if you're not poor you will pay 20-30k+ per year otherwise. Lots of poorer families can send their kids to private schools on assisted places. The fee is around £4-8k per year. There are special funds for parents who would struggle on the assisted fees but just like assisted places it's on merit not charity. Many single mothers manage this because the father isn't listed as income but the father in reality helps out if he's unofficially still in the child's life so this is a fiddle but very common. If I had to estimate Id say 30-40% were actually not well off.

Maybe there are some good state schools now but 20-30 years ago I would have dreaded going to one. It's not just the education but the other kids you're surrounded with. When you leave, hopefully for university, the value in the school is your network of friends. Networks of consultants, dentists and professors are going to help you much more than basic jobs.

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That's interesting because secondary would be more important than primary. People go private primary to secure the best private secondary but secondary is what gets you that university and beyond. It's very doable to get into a private secondary from non private primaries if the parents stay on their kids about school work and it's a good primary.

Perhaps state schools are better now?

A previous poster mentioned being able to negotiate a discount if they paid the full year in advance. Would you mind sharing how much of a discount would your school offer, if any?
They went on to say that their joint household gross income is 300K and they buy second hand uniforms, but that’s beside the point 😂
TIA

We don’t offer any discounts for a year’s fees paid in advance.

We have a fees in advance scheme which attracts a modest commutation rate of 2.5% but is for a minimum of 2 years and doesn’t protect you from fee increases. Note that the 2.5% is not a straight discount, rather we use a discounted cash flow so the longer you pay for the better the discount.

You become an unsecured creditor though so if the school goes bust you don’t get your money back (we won’t go bust but it’s happened to one of our competitors).

@PifandHercule and everyone buys secondhand uniform - it’s the norm.

About 150K joint income in North Wales, Paid off our mortgage before DC went to school, always been frugal savers not spenders. Relatively easy to have 3 at private school, but no holidays for a decade, 10+ year old cars etc

Household income c. £60,000. Worried about how we can keep going but DS2 is just going into year 10 and due to ASD and anxiety was having horrendous panic attacks and self harming at state grammar (top 10% of cohort untutored so not over faced by the work, but the sheer number of pupils). Haven’t had a holiday in many years, no exciting days out, etc.