Safeguarding inheritance

[Stratusinium]

Posting for traffic - TLDR; relates to inheritance and a parent living with a partner (not married) and wanting to ensure kids inherit.

So, as brief as poss! My DF lives in the house he and my DM bought in the 90s. DM died in the 90s and DF has been with current partner for just under 8 years. She moved from her XH’s to my DF’s home and has lived there since.

DF has purposely not married and has initiated conversation with me about inheritance, saying he has spoken to solicitor and has had will (re-)written to ensure his estate goes to DSis and I rather than his partner.

Partner is quite controlling and we anticipate that if she were to survive him, she will try to claim any inheritance/estate for herself. She has tried to encourage him to sell up house and re-buy with her and for e.g. has also spent money on decoration and refurbishment of the house (fairly superficial - not loft conversions or anything). She is very aware of this and has actually mentioned that she has invested in house - am sure she is aware of the implications in terms of potentially claiming a share of equity.

DF is currently in good health and sharp as ever, however another concern is if he were to become frail in any way she might try and do something like claim power of attorney or engineer that they get married.

For those that know about that sort of thing, what does he (and we) need to be aware of in terms of safeguarding him and what he wishes to pass on to us?

Should also add, I don’t automatically feel I’m entitled to anything - it’s his life and money and he can do what he wishes with it. However he has expressed his wishes to me and she is a very controlling person (hence he has no intention of them getting married and has sought legal advice). (Sadly he has also described her as abusive, however it does not seem he has plans to leave or end the relationship.) Hopefully it’s a long way off, but it worries me already that should this situation come to pass it will be upsetting and there will be an unpleasant battle with her to see his wishes respected.

Any advice appreciated.

That’s what someone on here has suggested – not what my DF has put in his will!

I’m the partner of a man who has two adult children. These are the steps we’ve taken to ensure that both me and the adult children benefit from any inheritance. I think these are the steps your dad could/should take - we did this after taking legal advice and think it’s the most secure way of managing inheritance and step children/ex wife without actually getting married.

1. DP and I both have LPA over each other (health and financial).
2. I have a life interest in the house we live in (it is not jointly owned) - this means I can’t be made homeless when he dies.
3. All assets including the house are split between the three of us. It’s not an equal split but it’s what my partner and I deemed appropriate.

My will includes his children as well as my nieces and nephews but it is immediately invalidated on his death (or certainly my nieces and nephews won’t benefit from my share of his assets if we die in short succession).

That said, I don’t have a legal obligation to pass on my share of the overall inheritance to his children on my death.

This was all pretty straightforward and inexpensive. Solicitors are used to this sort of thing and do it all the time.

I don’t know the age of your father but many people live until they are in their late 80s or early 90s. Along the way, they might encounter many costs such as care fees or care home fees that currently cost about 60 or 70,000 or worse per annum. If this women stays with your dad until death it means that she could be with him for decades. You have no exact idea of her financial situation.

The Inheritance Act 1975 means that a dependant needs to have a reasonable provisions.

If this women lives with your dad and has insufficient funds to fund her own care or provide her own housing without any form of recourse onto the state I suspect that a Judge will ensure that any will leaving everything to his offspring is rewritten making a significant provision for her.

The reason why I think this is that Judges operate in odd ways. They will be reflecting on the cost to the state of this women being left without a home or insufficient funds to fund her own care costs which then have to be met by the tax payers. Ultimately if your father has a lengthy relationship with this woman then he has a moral duty to look after her. I don’t think for a moment that some tokenism of a small gift will suffice - it will be a practical consideration fo her life expectancy and her living costs to have a suitable home.

Moreover, when people talk about care ( she may yet have to provide- you can’t predict or know ) they are not talking about care needs now. They are projecting a decade or more into the future when most people need some form of support as they get into their late 80s or 90s unless they are very lucky. My neighbours father lived until 105 years old and she was visiting him at aged 80 herself! We have a tendency to shove our old people in care homes but they are brimming with people who are in their 80 or 90 or over 100. Of your dad is say, I’m his 60s why would you even worry now? For this reason your dad needs his home to potentially contribute to his care costs unless you want to see him in some dire local authority paid home or he has hundreds of thousands in savings.

As you get older you see that your friends who are now themselves in their late 50s or early 60s with parents who are in care or have care packages eating through hundreds of thousands of pounds. So whether he leaves the home to her or not would be a moot point as it will be taken in care-home fees. I can’t think of that many people who have not been stung by this.

Alternatively, she might well end up caring for her or him for her. If she does care for him I can’t see a judge turfing her out of the family home can you? - and as much as you might not like it if she lives with him she is a form of family. Were he to have an TIAs, dementia, Parkinson’s etc and need support around the clock would you give up work to care for him or would you expect his ‘controlling’ live in woman friend to do the lion share?

Ultimately I suspect that your father is playing you as do you really think he is so enfeebled that he can’t decide whether this woman is controlling or not and chose to leave her. Maybe he is keeping you sweet but staying with her. Have you even seen the will as I’m surprised that he was not given exact advice about the Inheritance Act 1975 - it would come up as part of the process of drafting a will ie do you live with anyone who might be a defendant etc. Why rewrite his will if he did not marry? His original will presumably left it all to your mum bur with an effective proviso clause that if she predeceased his kids inherited. Do you even know where this will is? Moreover what sort of man lives with a woman he presumably loves but does not even want to look after should he die? Something about all this does not make sense and either paints your dad in a poor light or is so full of holes to anyone legally qualified I suspect. He is not married to her and if he felt that way could just ask her to leave the fact that he does not says it all.

Insofar as contribution to improvements of the house is concerned that is only valid if they split and she seeks to claim a constructive trust for a share of the house if the house is in his sole name. They are pretty difficult claims and I would think need more than a bit of cosmetic work eg regularly paying or contributing to mortgage or significant works. That has nothing to do with death/ wills amd dependency. Which is why I think your dad has not received legal advice as he would be sprouting off or certainly informed about the inheritance dependancy act 1975 - basic law student question in probate exams.

This - he should mention her by name and leave her a sun - it will make it harder for her to argue that she wasn’t considered and is dependent.

also if he does marry her in the scenario as unthread the will becomes invalid til he can write a new one and she does very well out of it. So definitely worth getting it sorted out.

Adding to the POA chorus they are currently taking 5-6 months to register. DH submitted one for MIL at the beginning of June last year and we got the confirmation just before Christmas. That is not unusual now. It caused a lot of problems as MIL has capacity but is severely disabled following a stroke and can't talk, read or write. When FIL died of sepsis in July MIL couldn't access to their bank account until DH could register the POA with the bank in between Christmas and New Year. So the earlier you doit the better.

As soon as she lives with him for more than 2 years she has a potential claim. Moreover if she also for instance becomes old and in-firmed before your father dies this will weigh on a judge who won’t want her being a burden on the State.

The Act itself provides a clear list of factors the court must consider. Financial needs and resources will always be central, but not all of the other factors will be relevant in every case:

• the financial resources and financial needs which the applicant has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future
• the financial resources and financial needs which any other applicant for an order under section 2 of this Act has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future
• the financial resources and financial needs which any beneficiary of the estate of the deceased has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future
• any obligations and responsibilities which the deceased had towards any applicant for provision or towards any beneficiary of the estate of the deceased
• the size and nature of the net estate of the deceased
• any physical or mental disability of any applicant or of any beneficiary of the estate of the deceased
• any other matter, including the conduct of the applicant or any other person, which in the circumstances of the case the court may consider relevant. Conduct can include the conduct of the deceased, not just those interested in their estate.

Powers of Attorney are a must - finances and health and welfare. They can be done at any time, well in advance. Dh and I did ours some years ago.

If you wait until someone has e.g. the beginnings of dementia, it may well be too late.

As pps have said, you can print the forms off and do them yourselves. You don’t need a solicitor, but you do need to read the instructions very carefully - particularly about witnesses and dating IIRC - any mistake will mean they’ll be rejected and you’ll have to start (and pay) again.

I don’t blame you at all for wanting to safeguard your inheritance, OP. I do know someone whose father (with early undiagnosed dementia) was taken abroad by the woman who was supposed to be his live-in carer, where she married him and ended up with the entire, substantial estate. And I’ve heard of several cases where a 2nd wife or partner has managed to contrive much the same.

Yes exactly.

Thanks for the info.

Thank you for the info

I would really focus on talking to your father about an alternate life now. I’m assuming he’s quite young and surely would be happier living independently with better relationships with his family. If she’s working then you have every working day to have these conversations!

He even has time to find someone else to share his life with, if that’s what he wants. He may have 30 years left and yes, lots of that is likely to be his female partner looking after him - that’s just a fact.

I think focusing on the inheritance is quite unpleasant actually.

My confusion is this. If a man marries or lives with a women why is she painted as evil and needed to be kept out of inheriting? Why should a daughter have any more rights than a long term lover or wife especially if that relationship is maintained for decades? The issue I understand is when the mothers money has been inherited by dad and then goes to second wife/ lover - that is unfair. Otherwise, this man is a grown up and did not have to allow this woman to move in. He allowed her to do so or even invited her to do so and made a form of commitment to her. He could have insisted they stayed in separate homes.

Also how old is this father- just hope the answer is not in his 60s as really none of this is that relevant at that age unless he has a sudden cancer or heart attack. So much will happen and change before he dies . Moreover if he does marry her and leave her enough to live on isn’t it better to suck up to new mother in law if she has no kids of her own rather than wind her up about protecting inheritance.

Im just not buying this somehow enfeebled man who is in good health but ‘controlled’ picture. I think he wants a quiet life and likes having a live in partner but wants to keep daughter off his back and placated.

I agree with @Oaktree1233 - there may be stereotypes creeping into our thinking here which are unhelpful. There are two decent things to do:

• tell the woman their relationship is over and allow them both to move on
• commit to his relationship and ensure that his partner (who IS likely to nurse him eventually) has financial security and a house over her head until her death.

What is NOT decent is encouraging him to enact a post-death act of revenge as you are suggesting. Please don’t do that!

For the messages addressing the issue of provisions for DF’s partner, thanks for highlighting this.

I agree that it would be totally fair that partner is included in will. I don’t know that she isn’t – although can see how original post could suggest that.

As mentioned upthread to another poster, my concern is not that she would get ’something’ – I think that would be totally fair – it’s that she would try to engineer things or battle with us for her and her kids to have everything.

My DF brought up his will and his house apropos of nothing – it is not a conversation I have initiated. However I know very little about the topic and what issues might be necessary to be aware of.

The reason I’m asking about it now also is because I dread a harrowing situation playing out if she survives him.

The ideal case scenario is simply that everything is in place should she survive him and things don’t have to be contested. Because I feel that would be a horrible, upsetting situation. However I’m not naive and accept that this may be a situation we have to face.

I'll add to that in saying not only do they take a long time to process, the Office of the Public Guardian often return forms (even to solicitors) for ammendments and make mistakes themselves.
When I had ours done, by our solicitor, my name was spelt wrong, it was clearly correct on the form my solicitor sent in, so not their fault, however the OoPG would not ammend or admit they had goofed, everything had to be re-submitted, it took months!!

With regard to a will, get a solicitor to do it rather than DIY, whilst a DIY will is perfectly legal, having a will witnessed by a solicitor and their clerk and filed at their office is rather less easy to challenge.

All very sensible OP, it is best to get things in place now, and of course you have a vested interest in your fathers future care (if needed) and securing any inheritance you father wishes you to have, which of course doesn't mean she gets nothing!

He already cooks and cleans for himself! (And did already when my DM was alive - they never had a ‘housewife’ style arrangement – despite the fact my dad worked full time and my DM didn’t work at all, he did the majority of the cooking and housework.) Some horrible assumptions here - is this just based on lazy sexist stereotypes??

Can't believe some of the responses you are getting on here when you've said it's an abusive relationship! She has her own money and as an adult it's her responsibility to make sure she has a plan in place for herself should the worst happen. Personally I hope she ends up with nothing, treating your father how she does! Best of luck to you.

This is what many people want to avoid. It's a huge amount of trust to ensure the surviving spouse doesn't change the will. It gives them a huge amount of power over the adult dc. I would only want my assets to go my DC and my lineage not someone else's offspring.

Quite, which is where the trust / life interest model really comes into its own as it cannot be revoked or changed.

@Stratusinium you DF needs legal advice.

The main issue for you is emotional, because you feel the house was 50% your Mum’s and she would want it to eventually be inherited by her DC not your Dad’s partner.

Whilst it is not right for everyone, making the house ownership tenants in common and owning the house 50:50 with a life interest to partner but DC inheriting is something everyone should consider.

Your DF maybe able to do something similar now e.g. making the house into tenets in common and gifting you and DSis a %. A deed of trust would set out what happens in a range of circumstances.

Some posters have suggested leaving his partner a lump sum, unless there is a huge disparity in age, a lifetime interest in the house but not allowed to move in a partner, husband etc. may be an option.

One of the things I always point out is the emotional value of items in the parental home, these can actually hurt far more than the £. For example your Mum’s jewellery, photos, pictures, furniture etc. to others they may seem worthless but to you they mean a huge amount. It is worth thinking about them and either taking photos of the items now so you have the memory or even asking for them to be specifically left to you or even gifted to you now. I want a pair of spoons from my parents, meaningless to anyone else but full of memories to me.

I can’t see you said how old your DF is, he is already suffering emotional abuse/controlling behaviour this is more likely to increase as he ages. Age concern has some useful information about elder abuse. You may need to consider involving social services etc. to have a paper trail of abuse. Getting POAs now is really important.

@Runaway0 i couldn’t change my partners will. It’s his. My will is void on his death. He has ensured that his children are well provided for on his death. When he dies I will make a new will. It’s totally up to me what I decide to do and while there’s no legal obligation for me to ensure his children inherit from me there is a moral
obligation.
Lucky that my DP sees and treats me as family and that he wants to share his life with me. This includes making sure I’m not homeless when he dies.

Fair enough I think he's silly he should do a life time interest which means you get to live in the property but it's not yours to change the will. You might see it as a moral obligation but other second spouses don't. I wouldn't want other offspring benefiting from my estate, I would want it to remain in my family line.

@ActDottie and that was the reason for the question mark, I wasn't trying to state a fact. I've only personally known people to get POA when relatives or partners have been diagnosed with dementia or alzheimers. Anyone who has read the thread can see it's been stated many times that I was incorrect and giving OP correct information. But thank you for quoting me again and pointing it out again, I just wasn't getting it the first 10 times, I'm that dim

OP: He needs to remember that if she persuaded him to marry, his Will becomes invalid.

He could still make a new Will leaving his estate to his children, but to avoid a successful challenge she would need to be left able to support herself.

His Will should ideally have an explanation that he has chosen to leave his house to his children because he knows his partner, the other resident, is not financially dependent on him, and maybe leave an amount of time that she can stay in the house before sale. This is what my solicitor put in my Will when I lived with my partner, but in a house we co-owned, as Tenants In Common.

IF your Df is persuaded to marry he needs to talk to his solicitor about the house as a marital asset…

I hope he will not marry a woman he recognised as controlling and abusive. 🙁