Safeguarding inheritance

[Stratusinium]

Posting for traffic - TLDR; relates to inheritance and a parent living with a partner (not married) and wanting to ensure kids inherit.

So, as brief as poss! My DF lives in the house he and my DM bought in the 90s. DM died in the 90s and DF has been with current partner for just under 8 years. She moved from her XH’s to my DF’s home and has lived there since.

DF has purposely not married and has initiated conversation with me about inheritance, saying he has spoken to solicitor and has had will (re-)written to ensure his estate goes to DSis and I rather than his partner.

Partner is quite controlling and we anticipate that if she were to survive him, she will try to claim any inheritance/estate for herself. She has tried to encourage him to sell up house and re-buy with her and for e.g. has also spent money on decoration and refurbishment of the house (fairly superficial - not loft conversions or anything). She is very aware of this and has actually mentioned that she has invested in house - am sure she is aware of the implications in terms of potentially claiming a share of equity.

DF is currently in good health and sharp as ever, however another concern is if he were to become frail in any way she might try and do something like claim power of attorney or engineer that they get married.

For those that know about that sort of thing, what does he (and we) need to be aware of in terms of safeguarding him and what he wishes to pass on to us?

Should also add, I don’t automatically feel I’m entitled to anything - it’s his life and money and he can do what he wishes with it. However he has expressed his wishes to me and she is a very controlling person (hence he has no intention of them getting married and has sought legal advice). (Sadly he has also described her as abusive, however it does not seem he has plans to leave or end the relationship.) Hopefully it’s a long way off, but it worries me already that should this situation come to pass it will be upsetting and there will be an unpleasant battle with her to see his wishes respected.

Any advice appreciated.

I’m no expert but I’d suggest he makes some provisions for her in his will. Smaller but not insignificant lump sum.

My grandfather did this with his second wife (and her vice versa) and it ensured each of their money went to their own children.

Sounds like she's better off than he is.

He likely doesn't want to give up his nurse with a purse regardless of his moaning to you about her.

I’ve just had this situation which has resulted in parents partner putting in a claim and after a 2 year battle has got more than a third of the estate. To be able to claim under inheritance financial provision act you only need to be living with the deceased for 2 years prior to their death and if dad paying bills she’ll be classed as a dependent. In our situation she got a bequest too and a property in trust which still didn’t stop her claim. Once the claim is in they look at financial needs and this means that it won’t be distributed as per the Will.

She’s not, he has his own money! What a vile thing to say to be honest

So sorry to hear you’ve gone through that. It’s heart breaking.

Thank you for sharing - it’s this sort of eventuality I can see happening but would be worried that she’d engineer the situation to get everything. It’s not really about the money (in my case at least - although my sis otoh has limited ability to earn) so much as what it represents and the anguish of dealing with someone calculating and adversarial.

Martin Lewis, the money saving man, says powers of attorney are more important than wills and we should all have them. He has. The idea is that you make them while you're fully compos mentis in anticipation of a time when you no longer are.

There are many stories of people suddenly losing capacity, perhaps after strokes, where they need to sell their home to fund their care but they don't have a POA in place. It then gets complex and expensive to sort out.

It wasn’t about the money for us either, however, my mums share passed to my dad unprotected and was therefore within grasp of the partner which hurt, and feeling it should be that the individual dictates what happens to their assets especially when they’ve worked so hard to most of their life

Agree with pp about Power of Attorney and a small bequest to his partner.

I was under the impression it’s pretty difficult to challenge a will successfully but others clearly have experience of it so I would say just do what you can to help your father lay out his wishes as clearly as possible in his will.

Good luck, it sounds like a tricky situation.

I hope you and your sister can share POA so you can work both jointly and 'severally' - ie singly.

Finance and property POA can be used immediately with your Dad's permission, health POA only kicks in when capacity has been diagnosed as diminished by a doctor.

A lasting power of attorney for both financial and health and social concerns is an excellent safeguard. It would give you are your sister control over your father's care, when required. Your father could also sign the house over to you and your sister now, while having a clause that he is allowed to remain living there. You may have to allow his partner to remain living there after his death, if she hasn't got the resources to buy her own home. He would not need to inform anyone.

Agree with PPs as far as him making sure his will is 'airtight' with specific language regarding her, either leaving her a nominal sum , which usually helps to prevent contesting as it shows the decreased did consider this person when they made the will. Or leaving her a larger amount if he so chooses.

I also agree with Dad giving you and/or DSis power of attorney, both medical AND financial. I'm in the US and the UK may be different, but here it requires separate documents. I'd suggest that both you and DSis having copies as well as Dad's attorney keeping a copy. And specific language 'forbidding' POA being given to his partner included, if legally permissible.

His reasons for staying in what appears to be an abusive relationship can be numerous and convoluted. But if one of them is that he hopes to have a 'caretaker' as his health declines, how far are you and DSis willing to go to assure Dad that both of you will step up when the time comes. Same if fear of loneliness is a reason he stays; how far are the two of you prepared to go to see that Dad becomes a bigger part of your lives? I'm not saying you should or that you are even able to do either of those, but it is something to think about if it would mean that he ends this relationship.

Thank you X

Good Lord, what a load of typos in my post! Hopefully my meaning is clear, even if my fingers weren't.

Ah, it’s difficult. To be honest, she has tried to make it difficult for him to see either of us alone. We have met up while she is at work before as she objects to him spending time alone with me. We are still close but had an even closer relationship before. She has tried very hard to drive a wedge between us and unfortunately at times she has been successful in damaging our relationship - without going into detail, for example engineering situations where my dad must make impossible choices or putting pressure on him to miss important things (not in his nature). Agree, this is the sad thing of it and one of the ways people like this extend their control over someone – making them feel isolated and distanced and increasingly dependent on that person’s support. Completely understand your point too about the legitimate fear of being alone and/or vulnerable in the future and understanding of the situation that flawed as she may be she certainly isn’t going anywhere fast.

Didn’t even notice the typos!

Similar position here, I encouraged dad to make his POA. He did but she kicked off until he named her on it as well as me and my sibling.
Luckily he's still bright as a button but I dread things changing and having to deal with her histrionics 😬

Two things:

1/ get your Dad to make you his attorney, it is important to do Health & Financial LPAs

2/ get your dad to ensure his home is owned as tennants in common, he can leave a life interest for his partner, but that way 50% of that will revery to his heir either on his death or the death of his partner if she dies last.

Sorry, missed that your dad owns 100% equity. You could either get him to sign it over to you or you could buy a share as a tennant in common (could be a very small share, even £1 worth) this would get you named on the land registry documents meaning you would have to agree to any sale or loan taken on the property.

Do you have the equivalent of a testamentary trust? It sends all dfs assets into a trust upon death. Maybe look into this. I also think he can transfer the house to you and your sister now. This will hopefully stop anyone being able to contest the will.

He could put the house in trust for you and your sister, whilst retaining a life interest, this would ring fence it for you, his family, whilst permitting him and his DP to live there, but she would never inherit it (but could be written in as having a life interest)

This is very true, which is why moving the property into a trust would win here, as then the dad is no longer the owner, the trust is, with a solicitor as trustee, and it no longer forms part of his estate / will.

In the UK you can set up a trust, with the eventual beneficiaries, in this case the OP and sister, and a solicitor as the three trustees. The trust owns the property, the father would be given a life interest, meaning he could live there for his life, at which point the trust dissolves and the asset is divided between the two daughters.
My grandmothers estate was done this way.

Should say trust dissolves on his death.

Get both POAs done without GF. Easy - diy on internet. Get Will done without GF (also easy) and keep a copy yourself, not just with his lawyer.

In all decency, make sure DF provides a bit for GF. This will make his wishes more relevant if it comes to a fight and it’s the fair thing to do.

DF might be lying to her - or might start lying - when he gets doddery and needs her. Throwing GF out on the street is a revolting thing to do after years of unpaid care; more to the point, she may decide to stay put.

No one’s mentioned throwing anyone out into the street. Nor have I suggested he shouldn’t leave his partner anything. There is no reason to suppose she will have to care for him (rather than vice versa). So not sure where the years of unpaid care has come from. She has her own job/business and money and can choose to organise her own finances however she wishes. They don’t have kids together and she has not sacrificed any of her earning potential for the relationship or household.