Charming with others but not otherwise

[Feelslikespring2]

My DM and I have an up and down relationship.
We can't spend more then a day together without it descending into arguements and emotional turmoil.

We were at an event recently and I was inundated with messages afterwards from friends and in laws about how much everyone loved spending time with and meeting my DM. Naturally when we got home and the next day the facade slipped and she was moody and cold with me.

AIBU to wonder if most people have social on and off buttons like this. My DH is not like this and I am not used to such inconsistent behaviour in open and then behind closed doors. Well not since my childhood anyway.

I have found in like there are many people who have these types of personalities.

Quite often I’ve seen it in abusive partners, everyone thinks that they’re wonderful and we eventually find out that they were abusive physically/mentally/sexually etc.

I wouldn’t say that it was particularly uncommon but I think it’s every frustrating when you can see through someone, you can’t out them and people are taken in by them.