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Original poster

To tell manager at 8 weeks pregnant?

91 replies

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 18:23

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and not even told my family. The father isn't supporting/talking to me.

I'm an anxious person and think that at 39 than I maybe too old to have a safe and healthy baby etc. So I'm trying not to get too attached. It's also not a good situation with the guy I was briefly dating.

Should I tell my manager? I have a 121 with him tomorrow.

OP posts:
OrwellianTimes · 25/04/2023 22:13

Cheapcookies · 25/04/2023 21:05

I'm self employed now but when I was employed, I told my manager at 6 weeks. You're protected at work once you tell them. If you need any adjustments, they can also do this.

Your protection means bugger all to be honest. It’s far too easy to work around.

I was made redundant at 26 weeks pregnant (I told them at about 20 weeks). I’m convinced it was because I was pregnant. But they were too clever covering their arses. It’s not illegal to make a pregnant woman redundant, it’s only illegal to fire someone because they are pregnant. Very hard to prove the difference.

However if you wait as long as possible even if they do make you redundant, once you’re past 24 weeks they have to pay you statutory maternity pay.

OrwellianTimes · 25/04/2023 22:15

If you’re so sick it’s affecting your work see your GP - they can write a note without it explaining the cause (your employer has no right to know sensitive medical data unless it affects your ability to work safely)

Lcb123 · 25/04/2023 22:20

I wouldn’t unless there’s a health and safety risk

tinatea · 25/04/2023 22:21

Absolutely do not mention a thing.

maddy68 · 25/04/2023 22:23

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 18:30

No. It's just I'm tired and sick often. I've also not passed probation yet. Why shouldn't I tell him?

Definitely don't.l tell them. If you are still on probation they are likely not to keep you on!

Also allow yourself options without having to deal with difficult conversations.

maddy68 · 25/04/2023 22:25

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 18:50

@Sissynova my 121s have all been good, so if I tell them I'm pregnant and they say performance isn't good enough, and don't give me the option to improve, it's very much discrimination....

It is discrimination but they don't have to keep anyone on during probation. You honestly have zero rights. They will just say you don't fit the team etc

TheVikingGirl · 25/04/2023 22:30

OP I work in HR and I personally wouldnt tell anyone until I was 25 weeks if I were you, I’ve said the same to all of my friends and even those that have been there job longer have experienced mild forms of discrimination. You have under 2 years service and they can essentially do what they want, I’d wait until your 25th week, you can say you were waiting to make sure all was okay with the pregnancy if you have concerns about the integrity from your side but legally you don’t have to say a word until 15 weeks before the expected week of confinement. Good luck and hope you feel better soon xx

Doyoumind · 25/04/2023 22:33

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 18:50

@Sissynova my 121s have all been good, so if I tell them I'm pregnant and they say performance isn't good enough, and don't give me the option to improve, it's very much discrimination....

Well good luck proving it's discrimination. It's really not that easy. There's no hurry to tell them. Pass your probation for a start and that would give you more protection.

Original poster
dailytalk · 25/04/2023 23:15

OrwellianTimes · 25/04/2023 22:15

If you’re so sick it’s affecting your work see your GP - they can write a note without it explaining the cause (your employer has no right to know sensitive medical data unless it affects your ability to work safely)

Note for what?

Time of - than it will be a sickness review.

Pregnancy time of - that's protected.

OP posts:
catchthedog · 26/04/2023 22:55

they don't even need an excuse to sack you outside of probation, pregnant or not. you don't have any protection.

Original poster
dailytalk · 26/04/2023 22:58

catchthedog · 26/04/2023 22:55

they don't even need an excuse to sack you outside of probation, pregnant or not. you don't have any protection.

He would need to justify it to HR.

OP posts:
catchthedog · 26/04/2023 23:01

all he would need to say is you don't fit the team and he wants you out. HR are on the side of the business, not you.

Original poster
dailytalk · 27/04/2023 09:44

catchthedog · 26/04/2023 23:01

all he would need to say is you don't fit the team and he wants you out. HR are on the side of the business, not you.

On the side of the business, doesn't mean individual business members. Telling boss you are pregnant and than issues magically arise is also a claim,

OP posts:
catchthedog · 27/04/2023 09:50

Not sure why you are arguing against it, youre just incorrect and will be easily removed from a job. you are putting yourself at risk and don't have any protection. but if you dont mind that then go ahead. you don't have to stay in a job if you aren't actually bothered about it, but if you are hoping to claim unfair dismissal or something you don't really stand a chance outside of probation

Doyoumind · 27/04/2023 09:55

I think you're being incredibly naive OP. It would be incredibly easy to get rid of you as a pregnant woman and totally avoid a discrimination claim.

Original poster
dailytalk · 27/04/2023 15:59

Doyoumind · 27/04/2023 09:55

I think you're being incredibly naive OP. It would be incredibly easy to get rid of you as a pregnant woman and totally avoid a discrimination claim.

I think you are incredibly naive to think all companies are like that.

OP posts:
Original poster
dailytalk · 27/04/2023 15:59

catchthedog · 27/04/2023 09:50

Not sure why you are arguing against it, youre just incorrect and will be easily removed from a job. you are putting yourself at risk and don't have any protection. but if you dont mind that then go ahead. you don't have to stay in a job if you aren't actually bothered about it, but if you are hoping to claim unfair dismissal or something you don't really stand a chance outside of probation

Why do you think people wou it get sacked ? Have you actually seen it happen?

OP posts:
catchthedog · 27/04/2023 17:30

yes seen it happen and also been part of the HR process with many people trying to argue their case (not just pregnancy but anything they are being dismissed for) - never seen anyone win while in their 2 year probation though.

Original poster
dailytalk · 27/04/2023 17:51

catchthedog · 27/04/2023 17:30

yes seen it happen and also been part of the HR process with many people trying to argue their case (not just pregnancy but anything they are being dismissed for) - never seen anyone win while in their 2 year probation though.

Because maybe they are a bit crap and not right for the job?

OP posts:
catchthedog · 27/04/2023 18:19

that and also when they actually want someone to do the job and not just pay for someone to be on maternity for a year. they could get rid of you and pay for someone to actually be there rather than have to double up on your maternity cover.
sounds awful .. but it just happens.

Original poster
dailytalk · 27/04/2023 18:40

catchthedog · 27/04/2023 18:19

that and also when they actually want someone to do the job and not just pay for someone to be on maternity for a year. they could get rid of you and pay for someone to actually be there rather than have to double up on your maternity cover.
sounds awful .. but it just happens.

They don't pay for people to be on maternity. And usually get a year contractor in,

OP posts:
Beekdet · 27/04/2023 18:47

dailytalk · 27/04/2023 17:51

Because maybe they are a bit crap and not right for the job?

Show quote history

How ironic

catchthedog · 27/04/2023 19:10

ok, I think you're just trolling now

DemelzaRobins · 27/04/2023 20:48

I told my manager a few days after I found out. I needed to avoid some some lifting and carrying at 6 weeks and also have a condition which means any pregnancy is high risk and I would need extra appointments.

I'm glad I did as less than 2 weeks later I needed an early scan and found out it was ectopic and then needed emergency surgery two days later. Was much easier to explain why I was in hospital as my manager already knew I was pregnant.

Had plenty of time off after the surgery with no issues and plenty of support. I'm in the public sector though.

NadjaCravensworth1 · 27/04/2023 20:55

No need to tell them. Congratulations! 39 is a perfectly normal age to have a healthy baby, I hope you have plenty of support. Sending love x

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