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AIBU?

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Original poster

Anyone else ever have a sneaky day?

74 replies

Singmesomethingnewish · 25/04/2023 18:07

Feel a bit guilty…but also not.

I’m abroad and where I am, today is a national holiday.
I was supposed to be working, Dh is off due to the holiday and was to stay at home with Dd, 4 (schools not open)
I went to work as planned, but when I arrived my student was ill (I tutor and then babysit for the rest of the day)
I was heading on my way back home, then decided F it 🙈
I went for coffee and cake on my own (can’t even remember the last time I did that) bought two magazines (haven’t bought magazines for around five years) got a sun-lounger at the beach, read my magazine and had lunch delivered to me on the lounger, listened to my music, read my book and felt thoroughly relaxed. This is the first time I’ve done this since before my Dd was born.
I then went for a drive with my music on and had a Mcds drive through.
Tbf, I did head home a bit early as started to feel guilty.
Anyone else ever had a sneaky day?
What did you do or would you do?

OP posts:
memyselfi · 25/04/2023 18:09

I would happily enjoy the day as you did but I wouldn't keep it a secret from my dh.

Sortyourlifeout · 25/04/2023 18:11

Good for you! As PP said, it doesn't need to be a secret. I think you were 'on call' so needed to stay local to your job 😉

QuickGuide · 25/04/2023 18:12

I think I'd have called DH and told him what I was doing and expected him to be fine with it, or maybe that they would have joined me later

I can just imagine the fury here if a DH had done this while his wife was "stuck" at home with DC

Original poster
Singmesomethingnewish · 25/04/2023 18:14

I never do this, barely get to have any time to myself and…it felt good.
I’m sure Dh does a bit of this as is forever driving to the shop or to get something and taking a few hours, I’m stuck in the house more.
It was like I remembered who I was before..for a bit at least!

OP posts:
Botw1 · 25/04/2023 18:16

No cause if I want time to myself or a magazine or a takeaway I do it.

It's not rare or sneaky

Bibbetybobbity · 25/04/2023 18:17

That sounds incredible! You really went for it- good for you. I think I unclenched slightly at the very thought of lunch being delivered to a sunlounger- dreamy….

Original poster
Singmesomethingnewish · 25/04/2023 18:17

@Botw1 That’s great, I just don’t get the time at all, to have a good day like this

OP posts:
Original poster
Singmesomethingnewish · 25/04/2023 18:18

@Bibbetybobbity Its been years and years!

OP posts:
Botw1 · 25/04/2023 18:19

@Singmesomethingnewish

Why not?

You're not a single parent

NurseCranesRolodex · 25/04/2023 18:20

Yea! Felt v tired today on a day off anyway but I just lazed around, late breakfast, light housework, reading a bit, watching TV. Then 5 minutes before DH gets home I got dressed. It was very relaxing.

user1471554720 · 25/04/2023 18:22

To all the people saying tell DH. What if your DH tries to stop you or say you are being lazy.

Do yoi still tell DH every time you have a day off like this. Or do you leave DH. ? Genuine question.

If I tell DH he tries to give me errands so I don"t get the full benefit of the day . I prefer to fit errands around lunchtime or before collecting dcs.

I generally don't tell DH but I don't lie either. If he asks I say I am off but give the impression that I am doing my own errands.

HoHobaaa · 25/04/2023 18:24

user1471554720 · 25/04/2023 18:22

To all the people saying tell DH. What if your DH tries to stop you or say you are being lazy.

Do yoi still tell DH every time you have a day off like this. Or do you leave DH. ? Genuine question.

If I tell DH he tries to give me errands so I don"t get the full benefit of the day . I prefer to fit errands around lunchtime or before collecting dcs.

I generally don't tell DH but I don't lie either. If he asks I say I am off but give the impression that I am doing my own errands.

I'd say 'fuck off with your errands DH'

Botw1 · 25/04/2023 18:24

@user1471554720

How could he stop you?

If he tried to give me errands (how many can he have?!) I'd just say, no. I'm having a day off.

CheersForThatEh · 25/04/2023 18:25

I take days off like that fairly regularly and I do a mix of....

Go to the gym, have a bath, garden, take a nap, craft, read, walk, browse the shops, play the computer. Sometimes I make or go out for a nice lunch.

I really like chocs on the sofa and the big telly on with noone next to me to pinch my snacks and a big cosy blanket to snooze under

Morewineplease10 · 25/04/2023 19:13

Sounds heavenly op. I would also keep it quiet!!

Puffthemagiclizard · 25/04/2023 19:56

Jesus wept you got lunch delivered to your sun lounger?! Fuck me I'm jealous.

gooseduckchicken · 25/04/2023 20:09

You'll have loads of people telling you that you shouldn't have kept it from your husband and you must be in an abusive marriage if you couldn't tell him but I think you were completely right and I would have done the same. You're married to him; you aren't the same soul, he doesn't need to know every little thing.

As for those that would tell DH to fuck off with his errands (and undoubtedly there would be errands!), you would create bad feeling and cause an argument. Why bother? Days like this were the reason the saying "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" was invented.

Botw1 · 25/04/2023 20:15

@gooseduckchicken

Why would telling my oh I wasn't available to do his errands cause bad feeling?

Why would I care if it did?

What is wrong with your ohs that they don't like you having a day off?!

shivawn · 25/04/2023 20:19

No but I've been tempted lately to take a sneaky annual leave day from work WITH my husband so we can take off and have a fun adult day. My mum minds my son when I work weekdays though so I'd feel too guilty about it!

Scroobydoo · 25/04/2023 20:24

Not a whole day, but I took the car for an MOT recently and it finished much quicker than I planned for. So I got chippy chips and sat in the car listening to my podcast for 45 mins while DH was home with the toddler. Shhh!

mrlistersgelfbride · 25/04/2023 20:33

I occasionally have an hour or two but I must say a whole day sounds much better! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I definitely need to do it more often.
And keep it a secret if you want to...I would!
Mmm lunch delivered on a sunlounger...heavenly!

Killerqueef · 25/04/2023 20:34

That sounds amazing! So glad you could enjoy a day of just being you.

I don’t think I would tell DH either. He would probably get in a jealous sulk that he never gets any time for himself either.

ChiChaNaYubi · 25/04/2023 20:38

I leave for work an hour early every day and get myself coffee and sit in the car and watch tik toks in peace. My husband stays for a pint after work everyday for an hour. We just pretend that we don’t know each others little secret. Adds to the thrill.

CurlewKate · 25/04/2023 20:39

When my children were about 5 and 9, on impulse I just drove past the school and we went for breakfast and then to the beach. Not a day just for me-but a day for us. It was 15 years ago-they still remember it!

Sissynova · 25/04/2023 20:47

It’s weird to have to hide it.
You should just be able to tell your husband you’re going out on a normal day without it being a big deal.

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