Large age gap relationships

[Kennedydavenport]

I'm talking 20+ years. Is anybody in one/been in one?
I'm thinking of Emmanuel Macron and his wife, who is around 25 years his senior, and Aaron Taylor Johnson whose wife is 24 years his senior. Both couples have been together for a long time, especially the former.
I just wonder in the future when one partner is 80 and the other is still mid 50s, and how that will pan out.
I guess the younger partner could die tomorrow, nothing is guaranteed. See plenty of 65+ year old rockers or film stars with women 30 years younger than them.

Yes, I meant that about Sam Taylor Johnson!

If the younger party is in their mid-20s+, that’s totally different to an eighteen year old and their mid-40s married boss.

An old university friend was 25 ish and in a relationship with a man of 55 ish when we were house sharing. His kids were the same age as her or older. They seemed happy and got married and had two children together. Were together 10 years then divorced.

Looking back I can see that actually he was the 'parent' in the relationship. He needed someone to care for, and she (a little bit of a wild child!) needed someone reliable who could look after her and be the responsible one.

It ended because ultimately the dynamic wasn't healthy. I think she was looking for a parent figure, and he was looking to nurture a child.

That said, I'm sure age gap relationships can work if the dynamic is equal and not an attempt on one part or other to have a parent/child relationship.

My parents have a 10 year age gap (ok so not a huge gap) and have always been quite happy.

When I was young I dated men 11 years older and 17 years older than me. Both weren't fantastic and were pretty rubbish at sex 🙈
I was 27 and they were 38 and 44.

My friend has a huge age gap between her and her husband. She's 41 and him 67. He's young acting, very laid back and they seem to have one of the happiest relationship I've come across. They have 2 children (despite him having some from a previous relationship who are the same age as his wife!) and has been hands on with looking after them.

It's about personalities. If you fall in love with someone I'm sure it can work.

There is 24 years between my in laws - it always sickens me when I look at my three year old and think there is someone my brothers age (21) who might marry her.

their dynamic now is a reason I’d never wish to have a large age gap - my MIL is a fit healthy just turned 60 year old and her husband is in his 80s- not wishing to socialise and generally at the end of his life.

How did you come up with this formula?

I knew a same sex couple who had a 24 year age gap. The younger one was only 20 when it started. The power dynamics regarding money and lifestyle and so on was really off. It had sugar/mommy issues all over it. It ended because the younger finished uni and had to move away to start her career. They both now have boyfriends their own age.

And a friend in her early 30s is married so someone who is over 60 now. They've been together a long time and seem happy but they have small children that he probably won't see into their adulthood. No given, but I think that's sad.

I’m a woman in my early 50s, DP is 20 years younger. We have been together 3 years and have a good relationship.
He doesn’t want kids and mine are grown up.
I”m in better health than him, but of course neither of us know what’s in the future.
we do plan to stay together long term though.

As someone over 60 I think it is a bit pessimistic to think he won’t see his children into adulthood.

My dad was born in 1941 mum was born in 1959. So 18 years between them. Love is love. Dosent matter what age

What a load of rubbish as usual.
Plenty of people the same age split up all the time.
People with an age gap are often more happier.

Love is love and no one else's business.

Just as we all have friends of different ages it's perfectly acceptable to have an age gap relationship.

This thread wouldn't be allowed if it was discussing a mixed race relationship it was be classed as racist, so why it it acceptable to discuss age gap.
It's just another form of attack on people that keeps getting dragged up.

It’s not a pessimistic view - it’s science. If he has young children at 60, they will be early 20s when he is 80 - it’s a reality of age. Of course we as parents could sue tomorrow in our 30s and that is a given risk of life but having children in presumably your late 50s means that you will be significantly older when they grow. My mother was 55 when I had her eldest grandchild and I’m thankful she was been a constant pillar and support at every step in my life these 34 years counting.

I didn't come up with it, I read it somewhere. I have no idea where I first saw it but if you Google it, it's all over the internet. Again I'm not suggesting it should be a hard and fast rule, it's just a general idea.

I have a question. Do those, who got with older partners while young - feel like you missed out on something?
I've been told that "i missed out" many times, but nobody can say what exactly. Parties? Travel? Done that and still doing.

No feelings of missing out. I feel lucky I met someone who understands me and shares the same values, and is honest, loyaland puts their family first. I'd rather have that than thrills