For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

[anywayhereswonderwall]

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads).

I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat.

She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'.

I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting.

I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

Or not have even engaged, just given a swift eye roll and let her get on with her hollering. (what I would have done with my NON service dog too, if I was somewhere where he was allowed in, certainly wouldn't have pandered to her).

Dog ownership rose dramatically in lockdown.

Isn't this similar to that thread last week about someone undergoing chemotherapy having to use a train to travel to/from her chemo appointments, and asking whether she was being unreasonable to ask for a bit of space around her to avoid her contracting covid or some other infectious disease due to being highly vulnerable and immune suppressed, even booking two seats to have space next to her, but unable to stop someone sitting next to her in spite of that!

We perhaps need a proper consultation and evaluation about how one person's "right" to reasonable adjustments, etc., affects other peoples' rights, especially as a few posters on here have mentioned when you have two people with different "needs", particularly health related which may fall under disability rights, are in direct conflict with each other.

"But we did , and they had to leave so the result we needed and wanted . I’d do it again if I had to"

Would you leave if your child having a meltdown was upsetting my autistic teenager who can't cope with children having a meltdown?

There is no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog, but as they are allowed on buses I would have suggested she move, or wait for another bus.

"We perhaps need a proper consultation and evaluation about how one person's "right" to reasonable adjustments, etc., affects other peoples' rights, especially as a few posters on here have mentioned when you have two people with different "needs", particularly health related which may fall under disability rights, are in direct conflict with each other."

It's tricky and I think people need to work together on this.

Direct contact yes. If its through a window he’s stressed but ok.but I’m an actual room or walking past a dog he will go into a full meltdown He has multiple phobia some are a lot worse than the dog one and he will just attack me as he’s scared and can’t cope

He gets so violent that it’s dangerous and I don’t want him attacking other people / their dogs he usually just starts attacking me but we had a horrible incident in the past that I’m terrified will be repeated due to his phobias so that I think made me extremely clear they had to leave as it’s one thing attacking me it’s another someone or something else and he’s too strong

id have told her to move to the back, not sit three quarters of the way along as I paid for a sit down

It's not that tricky. The vast majority of dogs are pets and should only be taken to outdoor spaces, not inside pubs, restaurants, cafés etc.
For those with allergies, phobias etc, this would reduce the occurrence of discomforting situations massively.

Telling someone how to run their business, and costing them a customer. Astonishing entitlement.

@Tribute219 that's such an unhelpful post, because it's just never going to happen.

It's my opinion.

I don't think people objectively think a dog has more rights than a disabled child.

However, it's odd to take a child who is allergic to and phobic of dogs to a cafe where dogs are welcome. I accept you didn't know that when you entered (nor did you ask) but after watching your son have a melt down and the owner have to turn two customers away (who may have been regulars!) you decided to stay in the knowledge that more dogs could come in at any time and send your son over the edge again. Also in the knowledge that dogs could have been sat where you were before you entered and set your sons allergies off. I would have thought once you realised you weren't in a safe environment for your child you would have left.

If I'd have come in with my dog, I would have left immediately as although she would be entitled to be there, I would find the whole reaction very embarrassing for everyone really.

"He gets so violent that it’s dangerous and I don’t want him attacking other people / their dogs"

How old is he?

Also taxi drivers can refuse all dogs if they have a certificate from a GP proving allergy. Yeah. And do you know how many taxi drivers in London have such a certificate? Eleven when Sky last did an investigate. Ye every other taxi driver will tell you that they have an allergy in order to justify refusing guide dogs. Including the one who told me that as he has an allergy he’s not obliged to carry my dog, is not obliged to display a certificate, and that he is above the law.

And to the poster who questioned whether people don’t believe that people have allergies, no, I don’t. Do I believe that people have allergies? Absolutely. Do I think that there are vast swathes of the population out there with dog allergies so severe that even being in the same room as one with no contact will cause a life threatening reaction? No. I don’t.

But I do believe that an awful lot of people use “allergy” to essentially justify their hatred of dogs and to give them the upper hand.

And aside from that, isn’t it time we started questioning why everyone seems to have allergies these days? There absolutely weren’t the levels of allergies when I was growing up which they are now. But someone has a reaction to something and it suddenly gets classed as an allergy, in the same way that when someone is nervous about something they all of a sudden have “anxiety.” And this belittles the experiences of people who genuinely have life threatening allergies and who genuinely have phobias and anxiety. Because everyone now has them, nobody is believed, even thou se who are genuine.

Why? If businesses want to be pet-friendly - and many in hospitality do, because lots of people have dogs and want to visit dog-friendly establishments - then that's their business. If people don't like dogs, don't go to dog-friendly places and then make a scene about them being dog-friendly.

It's different on public transport where people with allergies do have to mix with people who need to travel with their animals for whatever reason. People do need to balance different needs in that situation.

You need to manage his behaviour around others ( speaking as the parent of a teenager with challenging behaviour).

Well no, because leaving the dog at home and going to those same places still doesn't solve the issue of children running round feral, spilling people's drinks and knocking into tables.

I have the right to go out places with my dog where they are allowed and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect to be left alone by other people's kids.

Well that's all very nice but it's utterly pointless as it's not going to happen if that's where businesses are getting the bulk of their income from, is it?

I mean, I guess if all the pubs, restaurants and cafes go out of business then that would also reduce the occurrence of uncomfortable situations massively...

12 and very big and strong for his age. We have had a very very unpleasant situation in the past due to a phobia induced meltdown and I’m ultra aware to stop things before they get to that stage ever again

I don't think people always realise that allergies can fall under disability rights. These rights are supposed to stop discrimination and exclusion, but having increasingly more food establishments where dogs are allowed inside is going against those rights.

He can’t understand he’s severely autistic with learning difficulties and other conditions

@Tribute219 your opinion but you stated it as should!

Not in my opinion, but it's never ever going to happen 🤷‍♀️.

I would have said I've moved far enough. You are welcome to stand further away if you wish