Page 35 | For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

anywayhereswonderwall · 2023-04-24T20:41:27+00:00

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads). I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat. She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'. I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting. I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

Tribute219 · 25/04/2023 14:53

Amybelle88 · 25/04/2023 14:50

@Fourteenhouses everywhere isn't dog friendly by default - the place you visited was.

I'm so sorry that your son is so badly affected by dogs, it sounds truly awful for him and for you as a mum. However, this appears to be one of his biggest triggers and something that should be considered every time you take him out, so checking whether where you're going is dog friendly or not should be a pretty important priority to you or whoever is taking your son out.

The last incident is one of them things - it's happened, you know to check in future and the owner was stuck between a rock and a hard place; you can't go to a dog friendly establishment then object when a dog turns up, although I understand that you've said you'd didn't realise the policy at the time.

However, the first come, first served policy that you're taking upon yourself to use regarding guide dogs is so wrong and is bear that in mind should it happen again in the future as legally you wouldn't have a leg to stand on; guide dogs take priority.

I hope you find a way to help your son with this as it must be so hard for him, I wonder if there are any therapies available?

But it wasn't a guide dog was it? It was just a dog owner who felt their pet was as important as someone else's child.

Fourteenhouses · 25/04/2023 14:54

@Amybelle88 sorry if I sounded ‘off’ it’s just so many are asking me things I’ve answered multiple times and not reading my posts 😞

I wish there was a therapy for his phobias but the gp told me it was cruel to consider exposure therapy so I stopped asking for help as they were acting like I wanted to traumatise him to make him comply with a NT world

Scalottia · 25/04/2023 14:54

Fourteenhouses · 25/04/2023 14:50

Well luckily it worked out for us as the owner got them to leave and my ds was then able to calm down and have his food

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You do realise that the world doesn't revolve around you and your son? I have read all of your responses on this thread - you're entitled.

What will you do when your son gets older - he will encounter dogs eventually in public places.

Ricardosj · 25/04/2023 14:55

Tribute219 · 25/04/2023 14:53

But it wasn't a guide dog was it? It was just a dog owner who felt their pet was as important as someone else's child.

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@Tribute219
Because their pet is more important to them than someone else's child.
Which part of this don't you get?

Fourteenhouses · 25/04/2023 14:55

Scalottia · 25/04/2023 14:54

You do realise that the world doesn't revolve around you and your son? I have read all of your responses on this thread - you're entitled.

What will you do when your son gets older - he will encounter dogs eventually in public places.

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You say entitled. I say assertive. For years I’ve had to grow a thick skin and advocate for my child . I’m assertive, I stood my ground that day and I got the result my son needed .

ScribblingPixie · 25/04/2023 14:56

But it wasn't a guide dog was it? It was just a dog owner who felt their pet was as important as someone else's child.

It was a customer who (rightly) felt they were as important as any other customer. The cafe owner made it clear that she didn't want to prioritise any of the customers, but her hand was forced.

nomoredriving · 25/04/2023 14:56

@Fourteenhouses well
Hopefully you've learnt but your mistake and you'll ask on future.

Your poor son!

weirdoboelady · 25/04/2023 14:56

I have to confess I haven't read all 35 pp, only the OPs postings, but I would like to know...

Was the allergic person wearing a mask?

Wearing a mask - I would be kind and get as far away from her as possible.
Not wearing a mask - she is BVVU.

Ricardosj · 25/04/2023 14:56

Scalottia · 25/04/2023 14:54

You do realise that the world doesn't revolve around you and your son? I have read all of your responses on this thread - you're entitled.

What will you do when your son gets older - he will encounter dogs eventually in public places.

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@Fourteenhouses
Or maybe he sided with you because he was worried about the tantrum you were going to throw otherwise.
Yes, your son is 100% entitled to a reasonable adjustment by the cafe, but asking other customers isn't reasonable.

Staffielove23 · 25/04/2023 14:56

Fourteenhouses · 24/04/2023 21:47

We recently had to ask in a cafe for someone with a dog to leave. We were there first as they opened so it was empty. DS is autistic, allergic to dogs and scared of dogs. We had just settled down with food and drinks and two women came in with dogs and ds was distressed .

I immediately spoke to the owner who said ‘well we are dog friendly!’ I said no sorry a child with disabilities comes first. One of the women started saying they had just as much right to be there it was awful.
It seems that everywhere is dog friendly now and it’s not always appropriate

I think you were right to move as requested on the bus OP , maybe she could have asked in a nicer way but was probably stressed if she has an allergy

Wow. That’s so entitled. If your son is that distressed then it’s down to YOU to take him to places without dogs. That’s like taking him to a swimming pool when he has a phobia of water and demanding they drain the pool 😂 OP, YANBU.

Goldenbear · 25/04/2023 14:57

nomoredriving · 25/04/2023 14:51

Exactly this, it's almost like some people want to tell others how to run their own businesses!

Entitled much!

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It seems dog owners (PP) want to do this as well by taking it on themselves to lambast a cafe owner on social media in my example, that asked a Dog owner with a yappy dog to leave, talk about petty.

Fourteenhouses · 25/04/2023 14:57

nomoredriving · 25/04/2023 14:56

@Fourteenhouses well
Hopefully you've learnt but your mistake and you'll ask on future.

Your poor son!

Yes absolutely now that I’m aware it’s such a massive issue and that not all places make it clear with a sign etc I will 100% call ahead to anywhere we plan to go to check

Tribute219 · 25/04/2023 14:57

Ricardosj · 25/04/2023 14:55

@Tribute219
Because their pet is more important to them than someone else's child.
Which part of this don't you get?

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Children are more important than dogs.
Which part of this don't you get?

Scalottia · 25/04/2023 14:57

Ricardosj · 25/04/2023 14:55

@Tribute219
Because their pet is more important to them than someone else's child.
Which part of this don't you get?

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No use arguing with these kinds of people who think children should be a priority in all places at all times, regardless of the situation.

Secondwindplease · 25/04/2023 14:58

Fourteenhouses · 25/04/2023 14:55

You say entitled. I say assertive. For years I’ve had to grow a thick skin and advocate for my child . I’m assertive, I stood my ground that day and I got the result my son needed .

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Which he wouldn’t have needed if you hadn’t taken him into a dog friendly cafe.

Fourteenhouses · 25/04/2023 14:58

Secondwindplease · 25/04/2023 14:58

Which he wouldn’t have needed if you hadn’t taken him into a dog friendly cafe.

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🤦‍♀️ I give up honestly . Do people not read at all on here

Tribute219 · 25/04/2023 14:59

Staffielove23 · 25/04/2023 14:56

Wow. That’s so entitled. If your son is that distressed then it’s down to YOU to take him to places without dogs. That’s like taking him to a swimming pool when he has a phobia of water and demanding they drain the pool 😂 OP, YANBU.

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No it's not! Water is to be expected in a swimming pool. Animals in a food establishment should not be the norm.

nomoredriving · 25/04/2023 14:59

@Tribute219 but it is the norm 🤷‍♀️

Ricardosj · 25/04/2023 15:00

Scalottia · 25/04/2023 14:57

No use arguing with these kinds of people who think children should be a priority in all places at all times, regardless of the situation.

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@Scalottia Thanks for the supportive message. I am afraid it is becoming a trend in society whereby entitled parents are now able to label themselves as 'assertive'.
I am afraid @Tribute219 is fighting a lost battle as the number of dog friendly establishments is increasing whereas childfree spaces are now becoming more common.

Amybelle88 · 25/04/2023 15:00

@Tribute219

I am referring to other posts - you mustn't have read them all - where the lady stated that if a guide dog were to enter they would have to leave as she was there first.

Staffielove23 · 25/04/2023 15:02

Fourteenhouses · 24/04/2023 22:01

As I said if they were there first then no- but if as like the situation we were in they arrived after us then we would take priority.

You do realise autism is a disability too? My son is severely affected. As I said if we got somewhere and someone with a guide dog was there first we would leave so it works both ways .

That said we would actively avoid a dog friendly cafe - when we went in wasn’t made obvious anywhere it was apparently ‘just local knowledge’ had I known I’d have avoided.

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Being scared of dogs isn’t a disability in itself regardless of his autism. It’s separate issues.

Scalottia · 25/04/2023 15:02

Tribute219 · 25/04/2023 14:59

No it's not! Water is to be expected in a swimming pool. Animals in a food establishment should not be the norm.

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Guess what - just because you think it shouldn't be the norm doesn't make it so. I actually prefer no animals in a restaurant too, but hey ho, they are permitted to be there so people should learn to manage expectations.

I also expect loud, annoying children to br at family restaurants so I don't go to those places.

MisschiefMaker · 25/04/2023 15:03

liverpoolgal82 · 24/04/2023 21:45

I would have told her to get off and wait for the next bus if she’s worried for her health, but then I’m a moody cow these days with far less tolerance now I’m of a certain age. Then got my book out and ignored her.

Disgusting. Would you do the same to someone in a wheelchair who was on the bus first, but whose space you wanted to invade?

Tribute219 · 25/04/2023 15:03

Ricardosj · 25/04/2023 15:00

@Scalottia Thanks for the supportive message. I am afraid it is becoming a trend in society whereby entitled parents are now able to label themselves as 'assertive'.
I am afraid @Tribute219 is fighting a lost battle as the number of dog friendly establishments is increasing whereas childfree spaces are now becoming more common.

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I think the trend will in time reverse though, as people get bored and frustrated by the lockdown puppies now life is normal again😀

Goldenbear · 25/04/2023 15:04

Ricardosj · 25/04/2023 15:00

@Scalottia Thanks for the supportive message. I am afraid it is becoming a trend in society whereby entitled parents are now able to label themselves as 'assertive'.
I am afraid @Tribute219 is fighting a lost battle as the number of dog friendly establishments is increasing whereas childfree spaces are now becoming more common.

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‘A trend’😂, yes, it is a trend, parents advocating for their children as they can’t do it for themselves, never been done before that has it🙄