For being annoyed I was asked to stand on a bus because of dog allergies?

[anywayhereswonderwall]

I went to visit a friend in London today and I took my dog. It's worth noting she is a mini poodle, and hypoallergenic, and well behaved. You can barely even tell she's there. I got on the bus as part of my journey. It was the middle of the day so there were a few empty seats (but not loads).

I got on and sat down, and the woman a few rows behind me said 'can you move , I have a dog allergy'. I apologised and moved a few rows forwards, the furthest forwards I could go and still get a seat.

She then shouted forwards 'not far enough, you're going have to stand at the front'.

I was confused, but did it. I spent the rest of the 35 minute journey standing right at the front of the bus while the woman was 3/4 of the way along, sitting.

I did what she said for the journey, but when I got off I felt annoyed and I'm not sure if I'm justified.

I've got a cat allergy and a few months ago someone got on the train a few seats away with their kitten; I think they'd just bought it and were taking it home.

To my surprise I started reacting; it's never happened to me without touching the cat, and then my face, before.

It didn't occur to me to ask them to move; they had just as much right to be there as I do and my allergy is my problem.

The dog has a phobia of alsatians, and gets incredibly barky in an effort to get them to go away. My first response is always to move away from the alsatians and avoid them as much as possible, even if this means an inconvenient detour, waiting outside for them to leave, or skipping something altogether. We never take the dog to a sit down cafe in case an Alsatian comes in after us. It's only if it looks like their dog wants to come and say hello, on a walk, that I say anything, and apologise before asking them to keep their dog a little distance away. Because my dog's phobia is my problem, not the alsatian owner's. Same with a child's phobia of dogs; there are dog free cafes, dog free playparks, dog free beaches and so on.

You might do but others on here clearly wouldn’t

dog friendly or not what happened to a dog owner thinking well that must be a difficult situation I shall go somewhere else no problem

Quite early in the thread @Ricardosj asked: "So what would you do if it was a guide dog? Ask them to leave as well because your son's needs trumps theirs?"

And the answer @Fourteenhouses gave was: "it would depend who was there first in that instance. If we were then yes they’d have to leave, if they were already there then we would have had to leave."

The leave dogs at home and not take them to any cafes/eateries is a weird remark to me. Dog walkers tend to go on long walks with a dog and then might go for a meal after. That’s a usual reason a dog is in a cafe or similar as far as I’ve known? Obviously there are plenty of reasons, but that’s a very basic one. You might drive to the longer, nicer walk, do the walk and then eat before you drive home. The purpose is to walk the dog as well, so you wouldn’t leave it at home. It’s a pretty common thing for dog walkers and one of the reasons so many popular walking destinations (the Lake District, parts of Wales) have so many dog friendly pubs and cafes.

The saddest part of this thread isn't the argument for/against dogs. It's the attitude and language being used towards someone with a disability (autism). Would people have this attitude towards a wheelchair user, for example? Well, their disability is their responsibility, so why should I put myself out for them?

I don't think people would have this attitude towards a disabled child if the conversation didn't involve their "rights" concerning a (non guide) dog. People would (hopefully) be more understanding.

@MagpieSong yes, you are entitled to your opinion on this but I still don't understand why people need to bring a dog into a restaurant, unless of course it's an assistance dog. I like dogs but we as humans anthropomorphize them way too much. Cafés and restaurants are for humans. Not dogs.

If the wheelchair user asked someone else to leave due to having a characteristic that didn't suit them, I think everyone would respond the same.

Sorry but if a cafe advertisers itself as dog friendly why would you take your disabled child there who is scared of dogs ,my son had severe autism and learning disabilities,I avoid places that may cause him distress ,yo u can't dictate to a cafe ,who.they can and can't have as customers.

I do not believe dogs who are just with their owners because the owner wants them to be trump a child or adult with disabilities when the child is already in said cafe

Why should they trump them? It's a dog friendly cafe the have EQUAL right to be there.

Reasonable adjustments are part of the EQUALITY Act.

It's about EQUALITY. If someone doesn't like something they have to avoid that place if it's allowed for the thing you don't like to occur there.

The EQUALITY act wasn't designed to allow people to dictate what others could and couldn't do because of their own personal needs.

My local cafe serves dog yoghurt and has a dog menu, so they encourage dogs. Now that I've remembered that, I keep meaning to take my dogs there. It will be their first time in a cafe. I will sit outside. Anyone who doesn't like it can sit inside.

Wow!
Yes, came on to say the same thing.
Your dog sounds bloody brilliant! Literally a lifesaver.

I think it’s the way you told them that your child trumps their dog that would put my back up. If you appealed to me and used the words “I’m really sorry, didn’t realise this was dog friendly. We’ve just got our food and ds is having difficulty with your dogs. Would you mind leaving. I know it’s a really big ask”

That sort of apologetic wording, then I’d be more inclined to leave.
”No, disabilities trumps dogs” would really annoy me as it’s just so entitled in a dog friendly place.

Op, I’d have moved forward like you. But then the woman should have moved to the back of the bus before I’d be happy to stand. Unless of course there was no space or people weren’t happy to swap places. Then I might stand if I’d seen her make an effort to help herself. Or even if she’d asked nicely and politely. But bugger her attitude. I’d be annoyed with the situation too op.

My son had a severe allergic reaction to a poodle, after stroking it. The next time we saw the owner he was really offended that I wouldn't let my son stroke it and went on and on about how it was "hypoallergenic". It's bollocks. My son was covered in hives from head to toe.

These stories get more ridiculous.

@WithyouFromDuskTilDawn
Do you think it's ridiculous that someone had an allergic reaction or that the dog's owner later got offended? It's not clear.
My DS also has had bad allergic reactions to dogs and cats - hives, difficulty breathing etc - so that part is certainly not ridiculous in my experience, though the owner's reaction was.

I think the issue is the poster has got other peoples backs up with her attitude, talking about rights and demanding people leave and that they need to check their privilege. Talking about having more rights than a blind pperson is breathtaking.

if someone spoke to me like that in real life I’m going nowhere If someone nicely and apologetically asked me to go I’d be more inclined to do as they asked.

That's great, I hope your dogs like it but my point still stands, they are dogs, not humans and they don't need their own menu. However that's just my opinion. The cafe is well within its rights to be a dog-friendly place, and it is advertised as such, so at least noone can complain about dogs being in there!

Sitting outside is much nicer anyway 🙂

But the reality is that there are some people with disabilities who are horrible people, not because they have disabilities but because they are human beings, and having a disability doesn’t exempt you from that.

That poster is unreasonable. I know guide dog owners who for instance will refuse to put the dog in the back if the driver says they’re nervous of dogs, will insist to the extent that they will threaten to have the driver’s licence removed and will quote chapter and verse of the law. They’re unreasonable.

We all have to co-exist, and in some instances that means that you can’t always have things exactly as you want. Saying that a guide dog owner would “have to leave” because of an autistic child is entirely unreasonable and the poster was being entitled. To suggest that the guide dog could be seated in a different part of the cafe would be a reasonable request, but to proclaim that they “would have to leave” is not, and as a guide dog owner I would flat out refuse to leave, and if the establishment made. Big deal of it I would take them to task over it. I wouldn’t expect the autistic child to leave, that would be on them. But they would have 0 right to expect me to leave either.

I think it’s more the way people ask. If they ask politely they’d get a much better response than if I’m told to do something when I’m doing nothing wrong.

The child was reacting in a meltdown by the sounds of it because of his disability, not because he was just a little so and so having a tantrum. In this instance, the disabled child trumped the dogs.

Wow, ive also just googled, i have learnt something today, i didnt even know there was such a thing as a hypoallergenic dog.

To move on the bus showed respect, her shouting not far enough stand at the front was out of order.

That the dog owner got offended that you didn’t let your child stroke his dog. If that happened it’s ridiculous. But I don’t believe it happened, the dog haters stories become more and more ridiculous.

The dog owners could have been sat outside or in another area, if that was possible in this cafe. I think the issue isn't asking the favour of the dog owners but the way it was handled.

The saddest part of that post with the autistic child is the sheer entitlement and rudeness of the parent. My very close friend has a young son with autism and she would never act this way. Just because you have a disabled child, that doesn't give you the right to be a dick.

And if my child is in autistic meltdown, as happened recently, WE leave as the environment is obviously proving too much for the child at that time.

I'm busy most of the day today apart from couple of hours in middle of the day. Need to meet a friend. We're going to dog friendly place because she likes dogs, the dog friendly place loves dogs and actively welcomes them, it means I don't have to leave him at home because I'm working the rest of the day until early evening.
If I couldn't take him then meeting friend would have to wait until I had more time or he'd the dog would be on his own all day.

You should have said no after you’d already moved once, and invited her to move herself if she still had an issue.