Better to travel when your young or older?

[Mychildneverstopstalking]

Chatting with a friend today and it got me thinking.
She fell pregnant (by accident) when we were at university and had her first child at 21, she’d had two more by her mid-late twenties.
I had my dc at age 40 (infertility, wasn’t really the plan)
We’re both now mid 40’s.
I travelled the world, lived abroad and spent my 20’s & 30’s making a career, but also going to so many new places, having so many new adventures etc.
She said because she had her children young, in the next five years or so, her and her Dh will be travelling the world and doing everything they missed out on, which is fantastic.
However, when I think of travelling the way I did then…months in Australia with my bestie, boat trips and dodgy places in Thailand, driving around Morocco and all around Europe, crazy bars in New York, open top roof parties in Goa etc..I wouldn’t be the same now, I wouldn’t have anywhere near as many adventures as I’m far more cautious and much more boring in comparison 🙈I was free and fun and gorgeous and slim (I’m not now! 😂)
She was saying it’s better to do it the way they’re doing it now as now they can have all this fun..but tbh, I don’t like travelling in the same way as I did when younger, I still love to see new places, but I was obsessed with travelling when young and it was my favourite thing to do.
Which is better, travelling when younger or older?

Younger of course
And your friend knows that
But doesnt want to admit it as she couldn't enjoy her youth with just being young . She had to raise a baby.

When you are young you are free. You are limitless. The world is your oister.

When you are in your 40s and go on a a world trip... and you have kids that just turned adults at home still... it is not the same
Not the same at all

Yes you can travel. Yes you can see the world. But never in the same way as a free 20 something could. It not quite the same if you travel in your 40s. With kids at home. Being bound to rules and regulations.

God this thread makes me happy that i travelled when i did 😅

You travel at 40 something
But you go on an adventure when your 20 something ☺

*you're

Your friend isn’t going to get the same experiences as a 40+ year old - as nobody trusts older people like that. But she possibly isn’t ready to hear it either, so just leave her to it.

Or maybe she wouldn't want to do it your way, what you describe would be hell to me, everyone is different there is no "best" way to live life. I'm surprised so many "well travelled" people on this thread are so closed minded, seems a bit ironic.

Neither is better. Like you say you have more of a sense of adventure and are less fussy when you are young, but you generally have a much healthier budget when you are older.

We are currently in the travel with kids stage which is also fun in its own way.

I’ll be doing both I hope!

But don’t think there is anyway to match the freedom of doing in your 20s when the only person you have to care about is yourself. DH and I will be off travelling when our kids are grown up and not only will we be taking eachothers preferences into account when choosing what to do/where to go, will still be checking in and thinking about our kids.

However, I will enjoy having anircon and no bed bugs in hotels because I’ll have more money!

I did lots of travelling when I was younger, had kids 30-40, now travelling again as an older person. God it is so much more fun now, I have money and can afford to go to places I could never have gone to when young. Nice accommodation if I want it, decent food, if something goes tits up it doesn’t matter as a few nights extra accommodation or having to re-book a flight isn’t an issue.

The thing is, not everyone has the opportunity to travel when young. Your upbringing, family support, life opportunities etc all factor in. I grew up in a deprived area where people didn't go to uni, didn't go off travelling etc. None of that was even on my radar. I wouldn't have had the money to go anywhere as I was in a minimum wage job paying a large chunk of my wages on living in a bedsit. Granted that was years ago but the way things are now, there are probably many young people still in that situation.

The way MN is, everyone here seems to do the route of Uni, travel, career, mortgage etc. But there are many people who don't have access to that life for a variety of reasons.

I was never going to be able to do those things when young, so having my DC young I wasn't "giving up" a thing. I have since studied, got a good career etc. Now I have travelled extensively. I probably would have liked to do it young, but I feel better now than not at all. But yes I do feel my age at times and would not stay in a hostel or backpack around.

Probably younger but it’s swings and roundabouts in the grand scheme of things. I had three children by the age of 25 and I also had a degree and built up a career but I didn’t travel. Well I did a couple of 18-30 med holidays but I don’t really class that as proper travel.

You just have to make the best of your life and personally I love mine. I’m 34, still attractive with a great career a lovely husband. I have two teens and one older child. Career wise is on the up as I won’t be having any more gaps and now mine are older I have plenty of free time.

Having teens isn’t easy at any age but I’m glad to be going through it whilst I still have lots of energy, stamina…. And sanity!! When I’m peri meno or meno mine will all be grown up.

At 34 I’ve already achieved an awful lot in my life and I feel very happy.

Also I am just not sure that following the gap year back packer trail is anymore adventurous than any other type of travel. Everyone is doing the same thing and coming back like they are some kind of grand explorer when it's not exactly off the beaten track. Fun, yes, personally adventurous, sure, but I really can't hold it as a gold standard for "adventure"

Why would you be bound by rules and regulations?

Bit of both, I think - I travelled and lived abroad extensively in my 20s, settled into the 'home-owner / corporate' stuff in my 30s (no kids by choice), then took a grown-up gap year when I was 40 and travelled again for 12 months.

As a younger traveller:

PROS: Less risk-averse, probably more open to meeting people and experiencing new things as less 'set' in my personality
CONS: Poor and having to do things on the fly

As an older traveller:

PROS: More money, better language skills, enhanced 'dickhead / scam artist' radar
CONS: More risk-averse, less likely to take joy in lying in a cockroach-infested hovel 'for the experience', having to at least keep half an eye on adult stuff (house sitters, aging parents, direct debits etc) at home

On the whole I'd say travelling when younger is better, as you are more open-minded / open to new experiences, but having cash does make things a lot more comfortable (I'm a sucker for a business-class intercontinental flight).

I've always travelled, even done crazy holidays with DC in tow.

I think when you're younger you have more time and are carefree. Your expectations are also very different - if you have any beyond having fun.

When you're older, you have more money but you are also more selective, so holidays are probably "quieter" and have certain expectations attached.

So upon reflection: every age has it's advantages and disadvantages.

Do it when you're younger. Nobody knows what life has in store for them and leaving it until tomorrow might be too late. I'm disabled in my 50s, other friends died in their 50s. I can travel but it's way more complicated now. I'm glad I went places while I could.

I dislike the younger / older debates. Especially about travel & parenthood.

As long as you get the opportunity at some point it's all good!

We travelled young & on a budget & were fortunate to have the freedom to do so career wise. We were never party people but did do a lot of demanding physical adventure stuff (hiking, caving, climbing volcanoes, rally cars, etc.).

DC, demanding careers plus elderly & ill parents mean we wouldn't get the opportunity at all now (40's) for many years, plus DH now drags a CPAP everywhere & can't hit the ground running like he used to.

So glad we travelled younger but happy our friends who had kids very young get to do it now.

I think it depends on who you are. I travelled when young and single and it was exciting. I remember all the beauty of it. If I dig deeper, I remember being out of my comfort zone. I was a pasty emo-type among a bunch of tanned boho chics or surf dudes. I also struggled sharing bathrooms which caused no end of bloating issues!

I look forward to seeing the world in a more luxurious way once the kids are all grown up.

William Shatner went into space at 90

I don't agree with travel is only for the young !

Young - because it opens your mind to other cultures and other ways of doing things. Also, you're more carefree

Older - because you have more money and your perspective and priorities have changed so you see different places or the same places in a different way

I don't necessarily think either is better, but probably will be different experiences. But then that will also be dictated by personalities, preferences, etc. At 18 I wouldn't have appreciated it that much and would have wasted the trip partying and being hungover!

I don't think theres a right or wrong answer. I was 24 when I got together with DH. He was 40. He'd done lots of travelling, I'd done hardly any. Although I'm quite glad he did it without me, because some of the places sound horrendous to me 🤣 (rat and cockroach infested hostels for example)

Sounds like you're a bit jealous of her upcoming freedom OP. Maybe she is thinking that she's glad she doesn't have to deal with small children anymore just as you are in the thick of it...There's no right or wrong way to do stuff, it sounds like you are trying to justify your life versus hers.

FWIW I did similar to you, travelled a lot in my 20's to some amazing places, and ended up studying abroad for a few years. But it wasn't always an adventure, some of it turned out to be a bit crap and lonely at times - I drank my way around the place too much rather than see the sights, got myself into some seriously dodgy situations and was sometimes too hungover to do much. I also frequently ran out of money and had to work shitty jobs to live, I remember having to clean for my accommodation more than a few times, while also having another bar job or whatever. Not exactly glamorous.

It was fun and I'm glad I did it, but I hope to travel again in a few years, in my 40's and have more adventures, obviously it will be different but I will have more money to spend and more of an interest in local culture than just the bar. Swings and roundabouts really.

Well I plan on travelling in a few years in my 40's, and I have no kids so don't need to worry about that, and I do hope it will be an adventure.