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Original poster

Better to travel when your young or older?

96 replies

Mychildneverstopstalking · 24/04/2023 18:53

Chatting with a friend today and it got me thinking.
She fell pregnant (by accident) when we were at university and had her first child at 21, she’d had two more by her mid-late twenties.
I had my dc at age 40 (infertility, wasn’t really the plan)
We’re both now mid 40’s.
I travelled the world, lived abroad and spent my 20’s & 30’s making a career, but also going to so many new places, having so many new adventures etc.
She said because she had her children young, in the next five years or so, her and her Dh will be travelling the world and doing everything they missed out on, which is fantastic.
However, when I think of travelling the way I did then…months in Australia with my bestie, boat trips and dodgy places in Thailand, driving around Morocco and all around Europe, crazy bars in New York, open top roof parties in Goa etc..I wouldn’t be the same now, I wouldn’t have anywhere near as many adventures as I’m far more cautious and much more boring in comparison 🙈I was free and fun and gorgeous and slim (I’m not now! 😂)
She was saying it’s better to do it the way they’re doing it now as now they can have all this fun..but tbh, I don’t like travelling in the same way as I did when younger, I still love to see new places, but I was obsessed with travelling when young and it was my favourite thing to do.
Which is better, travelling when younger or older?

OP posts:
museumum · 25/04/2023 10:18

They’re different. Not better or worse. I had fun travelling between 18 and 24ish (although not as much as you, I had to work a lot to find uni) but in my 50s I’ll be able to eat at amazing restaurants not just street food. Hire cars (I couldn’t drive at 18) and pay for local guides. I’m far more informed in history politics and world cultures now than back then. I am less reckless now but not completely fearful or anxious. I think in your 50s you need to consciously force yourself out of your comfort zone but if you’re curious and open it can still be amazing.

Deadringer · 25/04/2023 10:21

I suppose as a pp said it depends on where you want to go, backpacking around Asia wouldn't have appealed to me at any age.

BananaPalm · 25/04/2023 10:26

Definitely (!) younger. You need to be free life-wise (ie no kids) to be able to have this sort of "proper" travel experience. When you're much older and already have kids, it's just a regular "going on holiday" thing.

Now I can't imagine living in a remote village on a different continent for months on end as I did in my late 20s 🤦🏻‍♀️

farahway · 25/04/2023 10:28

I'm glad I travelled when I was in my late 20s as I managed to see places that I think have been ruined now. I had beaches to myself in Thailand, villages in Indonesia, places in Laos that no on had heard of, gone to towns that I wouldn't be able to go to now safely. Been round the world several times.

I've been back to some of them 30 years later and they are unrecognisable.

i prefer spending holidays in Europe now and have absolutely no plans for any more long haul travel.

BoredBetsy · 25/04/2023 10:28

Do both!
Travel and work for a couple of years, have a family mid 20's, pick up career again, travel again late 40's onwards.

I've never been a backpack around the world type and we've done some great holidays with the kids.

Ponoka7 · 25/04/2023 10:29

Was part of your adventures sex? If you meet a partner younger, than that doesn't figure. You were in danger of HIV, which would have been a death sentence. You were lucky, many women aren't. You enjoyed your experiences, she enjoyed her's. The holidays I've had 30+, I wouldn't have wanted, younger. I'd met my husband, whose work wouldn't have allowed your type of travel, so you can't compare. Not everyone is building careers etc either. I am encouraging my single DD (25) to have holidays as often as she can, though.

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/04/2023 10:35

Ponoka7 · 25/04/2023 10:29

Was part of your adventures sex? If you meet a partner younger, than that doesn't figure. You were in danger of HIV, which would have been a death sentence. You were lucky, many women aren't. You enjoyed your experiences, she enjoyed her's. The holidays I've had 30+, I wouldn't have wanted, younger. I'd met my husband, whose work wouldn't have allowed your type of travel, so you can't compare. Not everyone is building careers etc either. I am encouraging my single DD (25) to have holidays as often as she can, though.

I’m not particularly convinced that there was an HIV crisis in the late 90s and ‘00s amongst middle class white women who were bonking other backpackers as they wafted their way through through the tourist trail in Thailand!

Gtsr443 · 25/04/2023 10:37

I had a wild time travelling the world and living overseas in my youth and up to my late 30s. But kids and caring responsibilities for my parents have stripped me of the desire. I honestly can't be arsed to even arrange a holiday now. I'm very pleased I did it all when I was young.

whatkatydid2013 · 25/04/2023 10:58

Travel is pretty much always fun. I don’t think there is a right time.

I did loads of solo travel/with friends from 15-25, with my husband from 25-34. When DD1 was tiny we took her with us but from her being about 18 months and me being v pregnant with baby 2 we switched to doing package holidays & city breaks for a bit. Now the kids are a bit older we are looking at options to do more things like interrail or longer haul & backpacking again. This year we are sticking to city breaks in UK & a week in Billund to go back to legoland. Next year I’m already pricing up interrail. If we hadn’t had kids I think we’d have taken a sabbatical to travel by now but with them it’s not really feasible for us to both take the time off and fund the travel

BarrelOfOtters · 25/04/2023 11:08

@Ponoka7 I had a lot of fun travelling - but not that much fun!

I travelled loads when younger, buses, overnight trains sleeping in the corridors, hostels. It was fun, I had no ties, I really enjoyed it. I was skinny, fit and could travel with a small backpack as my clothes took up no room. And a night of no sleep didn't knock me out for the next day.

DH never did this and his expectations of travel and hotel is very much based on being on expenses as a consultant and staying in really nice places.

This means that now we are looking to go travelling in our retirement, and actively trying to stay fit to do that, but he wants to stay in places a grade or 2 above what I know we could happily stay in...

On the one hand I like being a bit more luxorious...on the other hand we could spend less and be OK.

JaceLancs · 25/04/2023 11:11

I travelled cheaper when I was younger
Now I still love to travel but at least can afford more comfort

Wenfy · 25/04/2023 11:16

It’s far, far better to travel young. The experiences add more value because people trust young people more so you get to do things you would never otherwise - eg when in Beijing I went to the university straight from the airport and managed to find accomodation with a local family for 3 months where I learned Mandarin, learned how to cook, and taught English in return.

Your friend isn’t going to get the same experiences as a 40+ year old - as nobody trusts older people like that. But she possibly isn’t ready to hear it either, so just leave her to it. She’ll realise when she starts travelling.

Wenfy · 25/04/2023 11:19

Ponoka7 · 25/04/2023 10:29

Was part of your adventures sex? If you meet a partner younger, than that doesn't figure. You were in danger of HIV, which would have been a death sentence. You were lucky, many women aren't. You enjoyed your experiences, she enjoyed her's. The holidays I've had 30+, I wouldn't have wanted, younger. I'd met my husband, whose work wouldn't have allowed your type of travel, so you can't compare. Not everyone is building careers etc either. I am encouraging my single DD (25) to have holidays as often as she can, though.

Every person I know with HIV had children young & they got HIV as a result of sleeping with men when they were young. None of them were in the type of situation that would have allowed extended travelling - they were all married or in long term relationships with kids by 16-18.

poppysockies · 25/04/2023 11:23

Both! I backpacked everywhere in my teens & twenties… was very intrepid, lived in several countries, did some amazing things, took ridiculous risks and met incredible people.

Had dc in late 20s/early 30s - I’m now in my late 40’s my 3dc will have left school soon. Over the past few years I’ve done a lot of travelling with the family, which I’ve loved. My dc are fantastic companions on long hikes and adventures abroad.

once they’ve all left home, I intend to continue travelling - both solo & with dh. I do enjoy having the money to stay in luxury places if I feel like it, dine in fine restaurants and more pricey ski chalets, which I couldn’t afford as a backpacker!

so it’s definitely not an either/or for me

countrygirl99 · 25/04/2023 11:25

We're planning on renting a camper van in Iceland next year for our 65th birthday trip. Last year we did a camping road trip from Victoria Falls to Windhoek. Travel doesn't have to be less adventurous just because you are older.

ChateauMargaux · 25/04/2023 11:28

I think both.. and am glad that I travelled when I was young.. but had I had my children when I was young, I bet I would have been glad to have had my children when I was young.

It is a good perspective in life to be happy about your choices, circumstances and where they have led you rather than to regret and feel that your path is some how less than it might have been.

it is also a good idea to see that life brings different things to different people at different times and while you can see that your perspective and experience has had it's benefits and merits, I hope you can also see that your friends timeline also has positives, one thing that is guaranteed is that both experiences will be totally different!

TheHoover · 25/04/2023 11:30

Both are great. I travelled young, had kids older. Love, love, love my choice but I would say the opposite is brilliant too - some of my friends with mid to late teen kids are now starting to have long-weekends away in Europe minus kids and long-haul trips of a lifetime with kids which will be 10 years away for us.

5128gap · 25/04/2023 11:49

Travel is always great if you're fortunate enough to have the opportunity. However I'm going to come down on team friend. If only because of my strong dislike for the myth that everything is better when you're young, that young means slim and gorgeous, and that slim gorgeousness is a requirement for optimum enjoyment.
Its a very depressing idea, and as a 53 year old, I prefer your friends positivity about life in middle age to your idealisation of youth.

shivawn · 25/04/2023 11:55

You enjoyed your travels, can't you just be happy for your friend now that she's getting to enjoy hers?

5128gap · 25/04/2023 12:00

Oh, and an added bonus for me in middle age is that I now get to travel with my adult DC. The travel experiences I had when young can't compare to sharing them now with my favourite people.

SpareHeirOverThere · 25/04/2023 12:08

The best time to travel is when you can.

Your friend is probably thinking, I wouldn't want to be starting out as a parent now, in my forties! It was much better when I was younger, had more energy, etc.

mischlerischler · 25/04/2023 12:14

I don't think one is better than other.

I am in my mid thirties and travelled and lived in different countries since I was 18. It was definitely lots of fun and I can also relate to taking more risks when you are young (tbh I cringe now at some of the situations I got myself into).

My DH and I are expecting our first child and I am sure we will continue to travel together once the child is an adult. I think the difference will be that we will have more money and will be able to afford staying in nicer (and safer) places than in our twenties.

sunshinesupermum · 25/04/2023 12:27

Younger for sure. I'm now in my 70s and travel is no longer an option due to health issues. I was lucky than in my career I travelled a fair deal but there are still places I'd like to visit but sadly probably won't now.

PartingGift · 25/04/2023 12:28

Grass is greener where you water it.

Sounds like your friend is watering hers.

updin · 25/04/2023 12:33

The type of travelling you did when younger just doesn't appeal to me, that's never been me no matter my age. For me to afford the type of travel I want to do, it'll have to be older!

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