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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think the phrase “your teenage years are the best years of your life” is bullshit

73 replies

Longlongtime11 · 23/04/2023 18:14

I get utterly irritated with this statement and I feel it can be utterly depressing to many young people. Firstly, it can be utterly discouraging to those going through a hard time and effectively being told “it’s never going to get better”. In my opinion they’re only the best days of your life if:

  • you’ve got a good home life
  • You’re not in poverty/very poor
  • You’ve got no mental health issues
  • You’re cool/popular
  • You have friends
  • You’re suited to a school/college environment
  • You don’t get bullied
Etc etc. For those who are middle class, cool party people then it may well be true. However, a huge number their teenage years were not pleasant at all and for some it was ok but not their best days. The phrase “peaked in high school” seems to sum this up. For me personally I had an ok time as a teenager but had an ex friend pick on me a lot and was quite socially awkward. I can think of a lot of moments from my twenties, thirties and now forties that i much preferred. For me, the absolute best time of my life was having my DD and that wasn’t until my thirties. Aibu to think this phrase is completely untrue.
OP posts:
Comedycook · 23/04/2023 18:15

I've never heard that phrase

GNR2022 · 23/04/2023 18:16

I’ve never heard anyone say that.

IrregularChoiceFan · 23/04/2023 18:18

I've never heard that phrase either but I would guess it relates to not mostly not having financial worries or normal adult stresses. Obviously some teenagers will do, but generally speaking.

GalileoHumpkins · 23/04/2023 18:20

I've never heard anyone say that. There's lots of saying that don't really mean much under the surface, seems an odd thing to get so utterly het up about.

Coffeeandbourbons · 23/04/2023 18:20

That’s like anything though, people say it about having small children but again they’re probably only the best years if the child is healthy and you’re not skint.

You don’t need to take sweeping sayings and pick them apart with unfortunate individual circumstances

Nevermind31 · 23/04/2023 18:21

No k e ever said that. It’s the years that come after the miserable teenage years that are the best of your life.
unless you are the mean cheerleader in some American high school film, and those were the highlight of your life

Simonjt · 23/04/2023 18:22

A social worker once told me your school days at the best of days of your life, the fact I had a social worker showed it was bullshit.

Aria2015 · 23/04/2023 18:24

Never heard anyone say that. In fact, I've heard 'you couldn't pay me to be a teenager again' loads!! I had all the things you listed and you couldn't pay me to be a teenager again!!

nocoolnamesleft · 23/04/2023 18:26

I've known a number of youngsters with a lot of problems who some idiot has told "school days are the best days of your life" and I have told them that's a pile of bollocks, and things can get better. If your life is a pile of crap, and everyone is basically telling you that this is the best time of your life, what the fuck do you have to live for?

RedToothBrush · 23/04/2023 18:28

I think the older I've got, I've tended to think people have one 'phase' of their life which is 'good' compared to other phases. But I don't think it's restricted to one age group. Some have good childhoods, some have good retirement etc...

Few people have a golden life throughout life.

SunnieShine · 23/04/2023 18:29

I've never heard anyone say that the teenage years are the best of your life.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 23/04/2023 18:33

I think the expression is "Your schooldays are the best days of your life", which includes, but is not limited to, your teenage years.

I wouldn't relive most of my teenage years for anything, but 18 and 19 were excellent to balance things out.

PuffinsRocks · 23/04/2023 18:34

I've heard it and I do think it's bollocks, just like those people who say it's your twenties. All overblown crap that doesn't reflect reality said by people who are clueless about the fact everyone is different.

TitoMojito · 23/04/2023 18:36

nocoolnamesleft · 23/04/2023 18:26

I've known a number of youngsters with a lot of problems who some idiot has told "school days are the best days of your life" and I have told them that's a pile of bollocks, and things can get better. If your life is a pile of crap, and everyone is basically telling you that this is the best time of your life, what the fuck do you have to live for?

Absolutely this. Being a teenager was the worst. I would rather be an adult with a job and bills to pay and a home to maintain than suffer secondary school again.

milkysmum · 23/04/2023 18:36

I've never heard anyone say that. I think being a teenager is incredibly hard in general, I definitely wouldn't want to go though that again.

WateryDoom · 23/04/2023 18:39

I'm another one who has never, ever heard this phrase.

I think most people acknowledge that the teenage years are really troubled for many young people and that, particularly nowadays, there are incredible amounts of pressure on them.

Alertless · 23/04/2023 18:43

Yes, I think people say school days not necessarily the teen years.

For me, I hated being a child, I was powerless and stuck with abusive parents. My life got infinitely better as an adult.

My kids have a great life. Loving parents, stable home life, lots of money and opportunities. Neither particularly enjoy/enjoyed secondary school despite having friends. It’s a tough environment, I don’t know many who enjoyed it other than the mean girl types.

I tell my kids that if they can get through secondary school, everything else will be easy.

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/04/2023 18:44

Not so much teenage years but there's a lot of threads on here from people who are still relatively young (often 30s) moaning on about how old they feel and how much they miss being in their 20s and having blokes leer at them etc.

Fimofriend · 23/04/2023 18:46

@nocoolnamesleft You are so right. My dad kept saying it to me whenever I had a problem as a teenager and didn't stop until I asked him if he was trying to make me commit suicide. The weirdest part is that while he was popular in school and among his peers as a teenager, he got bullied by the principal and a teacher, girls were not interested in him at all, his family was too poor to afford school books and he had to move to the capital to get a poorly paid job in a restaurant at the tender age if sixteen. The job was supposed to be with room and board but there was very little food and he slept on two chairs in the kitchen. So where did he get that crazy idea from?

SOMumm · 23/04/2023 18:50

the most miserable days of my life, secondary school, awful teachers, ‘school dinners’ hockey on frozen ground, communal showers, periods, homework, hormones, logarithms, crying over nothing, constantly being asked do you have
a boyfriend yet, never enough hot water, school uniform, old fashioned parents.

worse as we were older, so undignified doing gym and games, you could not pay me enough to return to my teens, shudder shudder

Paloma66 · 23/04/2023 18:52

Maybe our perception changes as we get older. I'm in my 50s and for me everything in my teenage years was in bright technicolour in a way it doesn't feel now. Falling in love, going out with friends, discovering sex, earning my own money for the first time....

SOMumm · 23/04/2023 18:55

I just googled - apparently there was a stage play years ago called The Happiest days of your life about 2 schools having to share premises which sounds quite twee
perhaps this is the source

Violinist64 · 23/04/2023 19:21

I enjoyed my later teens well enough but l would never, ever want to relive the ages of 13-16. @SOMumm has summed it up perfectly. I think fourteen is often THE worst age to be.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 23/04/2023 19:22

I think it can be good in that you don't pay bills but that's about it. My teenage years were hideous and I'd never return. Honestly I'm happiest now in my late 20s (so far).

Luredbyapomegranate · 23/04/2023 19:23

Never heard anyone say that.

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