To think she should leave?

[pinkshoes87]

My friend is in a relationship with someone, she's 34 he's 33, no kids by choice, together 6 years

He told her today, when she asked cos she was suspicious, that he still loves his first girlfriend (he was 19 when he was with her). First girlfriend lives abroad and they haven't spoken since 2014. They split up because she cheated.

I don't think she should be second best.

He says he loves her more than anyone and would never leave her for the first girl...but that if he was single he would give the first girl a chance to speak.

YANBU - she should leave
YABU - we all have a first love

Yabu.

it’s nothing to do with you. Everyone has a history and your basically saying because of his ex he should spend his whole life alone

Not really anything to do with you, is it? You can have an opinion on what you would do in those circumstances, but I wouldn't express it to her.

It's her life.

Some people are like that with a “first love” but if they actually did get back with that person again I doubt it would work out.

If I was single of course I eould give my first love a chance. He is the second best🤷🏻

Yabu and shitstirrer. No one in that scenario sounds in their 30s l...

I don't think it's unusual to hold onto something from a first love.

I'm married. If my ex called me and said let's get a drink, I still care about you... I'd tell him no. I'd pick DH, who is no1.

If I was single and my ex called me and said let's get a drink, I still care about you.... I'd go cos why not? I'm single. I'd say OK let's go for a drink to a lot of men potentially.

I don't think it's unusual to hold onto something from a first love.

I'm married. If my ex called me and said let's get a drink, I still care about you... I'd tell him no. I'd pick DH, who is no1.

If I was single and my ex called me and said let's get a drink, I still care about you.... I'd go cos why not? I'm single. I'd say OK let's go for a drink to a lot of men potentially.

He told her today… that he still loves his first girlfriend

I wouldn’t be hanging around if my DH told me he still loves his ex.

If a friend in this situation asked my opinion I’d be truthful with her.

Me too. Some really bizarre replies on here.

But strange. Now if the first gf had died then that would be a different matter. I'm guessing his hang up is because she cheated and he didn't have time to adjust. Must be hard when you don't see it coming.

It sounds like that love was inferred from teh "if I were single" bit. He said he loves his current girlfriend

I'm not trying to stir the pot. She asked for my opinion. If it were me; I'd leave.

Your opinion of "I would leave" is different to telling your friend "she should leave."

What's your status out of interest ?

How did the conversation come about? Was he talking wistfully about the ex a lot or does your friend potentially have some insecurities around her DP's past and is quizzing him on the spot?

I think that she sounds insecure in her relationship. It doesn't sound like he thinks she is second best. Sometimes people romanticise their first partner...and also being young in general. I imagine being 19 was a lot more carefree for her DP in general and all these feelings can come into play.

But if you met your ex, wouldn't that mean u still had some sort of interest in him? Exes aren't random men are they, there's history