100k+ salary, is it worth it?

[Goingtogetslated]

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

This idea that it is insulting to discuss different issues just because they are different to other peoples really is ridiculous and unhelpful.

Is it helpful if every time someone on Mumsnet asks for advice or to talk about cost of living issues that someone would say that is insulting to the quarter of the worlds population who lives on a dollar a day or the half the worlds population who lives on less than $5 a day.

No, because compared with them almost everyone in the UK lives a life of privilege. Issues are still issues even if it is your diamond shoes being too tight!

Why are you missing out on your children's childhoods and making yourself ill over a job?

God DH and I have worked all our lives, both graduates with several postgrads, in my case including an MSc with distinction. Our combined income (and no, we're not in London any more) is around £75k pre-tax. On that, we own a 4 bed detached house, 2 elderly cars and have reared three children, all uni educated.

You sound like you have huge expectations. You and your DH earn mind-blowing salaries which most normal humans will ever have access to.

You need to decide what is important to you. Is it the huge salaries, or is it a decent lifestyle with your children somewhere that you are happy with?

She didn't give that as their take home figure she just put 'even if we took home £10k a month...' as an example.

But that is still a generous amount!

Yes of course I agree with you. Our taxes pay for a myriad of things.
No I don’t want to swap my life either.

But I do think the OP has choices and can make other choices if this lifestyle and work isn’t working for them. I do think with the salary being quoted there are lots of opportunities to buy a bigger house in suitable areas of London that would be great. They just might not have all the bells and whistles that are desired with the curb appeal etc etc. But affordable homes in decent areas are still very much there and within easy grasp for less than £6k per month mortgage.

I get by on 20,000 a year.

I get it. I don't earn as much as you, but I have a decent salary. I can't afford holidays. I can't afford a car. My children wear second hand clothes, and I shop at Aldi and Primark. I really expected to feel, and be, better off at £75k a year. I still feel that uncomfortable "can't afford to spend that really" when I get a takeaway pizza. I don't know how people are managing on less, I really don't. I have no savings and nothing left over at the end of every month.

@MaydinEssex im not implying it’s not spare money….but it’s not life changing is it? A holiday or two a year, a pair of nice shoes with no justification?
Its not like I can top up my ISA and retire early.
I just wonder if I would be better placed with a part time or lower responsibility role which would reduce our outgoings and still maintain our current lifestyle

in answer to you op- no I wouldn’t consider the job worth it.

that sounds like a hideous lifestyle to me, with no time to enjoy or be. I’d be looking at moving sectorsjust for the stress and hours alone. There is a life outside london.

Agree. We have first world problems because we live in a first world. Rich people are allowed to have problems too (and I'm not 'rich' but I don't resent people who are, in fact I'm jealous!)

As someone who benefited from London price rises and then got out for schools, more space etc I do get it. The taxation is huge and getting much worse, the take home pay seems enormous but the outgoings are too.

The long and the short of it is that if you need to be in London for your role you both need to rein in your aspirations for the larger house you feel entitled to but are in the wrong place at the wrong time to buy. The way the market predictions are over a global house price crash it may be sensible to anyway.

More space is more cleaning costs and a higher mortgage. There is a lot to be said for a more frugal (haha) London lifestyle. You won't need a second car if one at all, the commuting costs are vastly less, childcare is more readily available if expensive. Don't upgrade but invest any spare cash for later. Retirement, when you need to put schools first etc etc

If I currently live in a 3 bed semi in London, I might as well go live in a 3 bed in Stockport without the associated stresses I currently endure

I’m certainly not going to start in with ‘read the room’ and all that, but surely you realise that prices are what they are in London because living there is so desirable to many people? While Stockport is not? Competition for London housing is fierce because everyone wants to be there, and enough people are willing to sacrifice space for the privilege of living in a world-class city that this won’t change any time soon. If you don’t actually appreciate the benefits of living there over living in Stockport, then it’s quite clearly bonkers staying.

Btw, I live in a three-bed semi in the NW. (Quite near Stockport actually!) While I live here precisely because of what you’re talking about - I like London and could earn more there, but that extra wouldn’t be enough to give me the same housing choices I have here which is the priority for me - it still requires fairly full-on jobs to finance a house with kerb appeal in a nice area.

I sympathise with you. I do wonder sometimes if this is it? We are just going to work insane hours until we die.

If that was my lifestyle I'd be rethinking everything.

Some people are lucky to afford one simple holiday in tents a year. Two holidays a year is a luxury item. Nice to have, but not necessary. Some people have to choose which meal they are dropping today, not buying shoes just because. Sometimes we just need to count our blessings.

Yes I am currently tempted to just sack in my job and go work for the civil service. Do something that might actually make a difference (if it makes it through the bureaucracy) and be able to spend more time with my daughter when I'm not exhausted.

@Yuasa I didn’t mean to insult Stockport, it was just the first non major town that came to my head.
There are only a few places in the U.K. I could work, and I moved from one to London due to the desire to live in London you mentioned. I moved here approximately 5 years ago, so have not benefited from any previous house price movement.
I think post pandemic and now with young children I am struggling to see the benefits of living here

What do you do? I found moving into consultancy gave me extra money in my pocket and time to spend with family. Also London is a big place - you should cast your bet for houses as wide as possible.

I think you need to take a long hard look at what this is all about and your feelings here.

Is it about stress and feeling overwhelmed and wanting a less stressful life? Job related.

Because you mention working in a less responsible job with less pressure but that’s not going to necessarily free up money doing away with a cleaner, dog walker and the current level of childcare. You want the bigger house with curb appeal etc. If you earn less does the bigger house still come into the equation or would you be happy to live where you are?

Is it the stress, salary and package that’s making you think you should enjoy life more?

I'm getting cynical about a lot of the financial threads on here.

@justlurkinghere youre right, I should just sack it all in and start volunteering at the YMCA to appreciate other people circumstances.

@friendlycat i want th attractive 4/5 bed house in a nice town where my kids can run around safe….pub, shops, train station commute ….sounds cliche? Probably is.
I absolutely have no desire to stay where we are.
Houses I see that i can visualise myself in are 1.3-1.5 million.
alternatively we take out equity and run, get a nice 5 bed for 750? But low job prospects

Then you should move. I live in a naice area. I like it because it's central, so less time to travel, has nice restaurants, good schools for DC etc etc so it makes it worth it. If you're not getting the benefits to live somewhere more expensive then you should move, it's a no brainer really!

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