100k+ salary, is it worth it?

[Goingtogetslated]

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

What exactly is the 'required lifestyle' for the role?

Yes, honestly, you might as well move away for a better quality of life and less stress. Nobody said on their deathbed that they wish they’d spent more time at work.

How ridiculous.

@jenandberrys the “required lifestyle “ is costs associated to cleaner/dog walker/childcare on call 24/7

I sort of understand your point but your figures seem a bit off. Perhaps if you explained your current monthly net ins and outs it would help?

What is your current mortgage? are you saving? How much equity do you have? What is your current house worth? You can borrow £800k at 5% for under £5k pm so surely you can buy a £1m house for now and still have money leftover?

I get your basic point that with childcare and a massive mortgage £300k doesn't go as far as people might expect, but I can't believe the situation is as tricky as you suggest.

Get out of London. We left London and took a 10% ish pay cut, but the lower housing and living costs mean we feel much better off. We have a much nicer home, no real commutes and overall a much better lifestyle. I feel like our home and lifestyle now is what you’d imagine higher earners to have. In London we could afford a tiny terrace in our preferred areas (we didn’t want to move to a cheaper area or commuter town although obv that is an option). But we basically have the same level jobs just with less pressure and in a much more chilled city.

If I currently live in a 3 bed semi in London, I might as well go live in a 3 bed in Stockport without the associated stresses I currently endure

What job will you do, though? Seeing as your current job is too niche for Stockport?

It’s up to you what’s important and what your priorities are . A couple of years ago short of my 40 th birthday I was offered a a major promotion that took me from 40 k a year to over 100k . I declined , I was already struggling on time with my children , I felt like all I did was pay bills . So I packed the kids , moved country within the U.K. and kept my position , eventually I got a smaller promotion so now I’m getting considerably more money but still way begging 6 figures . Do I regret it ? Absolutely not . Covid hit 3 months after I moved , being near nature on a bigger home with a huge garden made it so much easier . Schools are smaller , mortgage is much smaller , I have more free time . To me , my family was my biggest priority so I could never be happy away from them most if the time .
I’m not saying you need to do the same but you need to find out what is your priority and go after it and that will make you happy

I don't understand how you can't afford a nice house in London if you have both been earning a combined income of ca. £300K? That makes no sense. Were you renting all this time? Have you no equity in your current home?

I'm a single parent on just over £100K and I can afford ponies and private school (just about) and not have a crippling mortgage in London. I really don't understand how you can't manage on 300K.

You don’t earn a ‘decent’ salary - you earn an exceptional salary.

You need to have a proper think about how ridiculous you are being.

Can you afford a 6 bed in Chelsea? No. Can you afford a nice 4 bed in West Wimbledon? Surbiton? Crystal Palace? Yes, easily.

My joint household income is less than your SOLO salary and we are in the top 12% in the country. You are an utter twit to post something like this. It really makes me wonder how you can command such high earnings and be so seemingly idiotic.

OK, let's put it this way - my DP and I earn around £130k between us (shortly to come down by a bit, because I'm changing to a job that's less toxic). As mentioned, we live in a 3 bed hours in an affluent old stone town in the Midlands which is about an hour from London by train, and when we've paid all our bills, mortgage and significant debts (thanks to disasters and irresponsible money habits in younger times), we still have around £3k left over for savings and spending money at the end of the month.

Before I get slated, I'm not saying any of this to show off. I know there are people worse off than us, and we're incredibly privileged, but we've also lived very poor and struggled on the breadline for many years.

Anyway, my point is @Goingtogetslated - you could cut your salaries by more than half and live waaaaay better if you just moved out of London, with a likely fraction of the stress. In your position, there would have to be a really compelling reason to get me to stay where you are, and it wouldn't involve money.

This is exactly it I guess….although wouldn’t say “entitled”. I find it ludicrous we are supposedly top 1% of earners but the mortgage rates for a decent family property would be crippling ….and I do admit I want kerb appeal/garden/no work required etc

the people selling these houses weren’t necessarily on high incomes, but have just benefited from the house market over the past 15 odd years.

Sounds like you think that you need a certain lifestyle and it is that that you can't afford rather than any particular real life issues. A cleaner and dog walker do not cost 10s of thousands

Same.
what do you mean OP detached houses within a commute are 1.5mil.
no they all arnt? I live in kent and commute daily 1-1.5 hours. Lovely village beautiful detached house in a great neighbourhood. Detached 4-5 bed houses are around 6-700k

I sort of understand what you mean because yes with well-paid jobs come more stress, more hours, and more costs to keep the household running. However I think you can easily find a decent house under £1 mil in the commuter belt with good transportation to London, most of my senior colleagues did that and were very happy that way.

While you are all asking the OP to check her privilege do note a couple of things.

This couple living in England will be paying £60k per year each in income tax and NI. That is £120k per year between them to help support the running of the health service, education, government, benefits, defence etc etc. Plus also VAT on everything they purchase, council tax, road tax, fuel duty. The OPs family will likely be providing the government with upwards of £150k per year to help the rest of the country. At least half of that money goes in tax, to the country. To us! We could be grateful rather than slating her.

Also whoever is saying they get £10k a month after tax. They don't. No wonder the government wants to increase maths education. You can check with an online tax calculator though. A salary of £150k per annum would yield a net monthly pay of £7,494 this tax year. So £5k per month each in income tax.

So she could say to those of you receiving benefits.... check your privilege.... but she isn't so let's not have a war on here.

Our household income is literally half yours, but we live a very comfortable life in Yorkshire. I don't envy you.

From my perspective, it's not worth it. Your kids will grow faster than you think, life can throw curve balls your way. In the end, a house is a house, a job is a job, even a career you love is just a career. The things that are priceless (to me anyway) are having time for family and experiences with them. I'd rather have the more modest lifestyle, less stress and more time with my family.

I understand what you're saying but your figures are off. You should get more than 10k after tax on that income.

Also, you're looking at it as though things will be stagnant, they won't. In a few years you'll stop having to pay for childcare and that frees the money up (although I guess you'll then have to decide if you want to pay for private school), and if you're earning 150k I'd venture that you're in an industry where the potential for your income to increase even further is high.

Then you'd have to assess if you really want the bigger house. Our flat is smaller than I'd like but it is in a good location and renovated to such high specifications that it is very hard to entice me away.

@Youdoyoubabe

So it’s not £10k a month, it’s £15k?

Ah so you are basically bitter because people who you consider 'less worthy' or earn less than you are sitting in houses that you can't afford. You should let that go, it's not very attractive

I think I hear it, faintly in the distance lol

@jenandberrys no im not bitter, give it a rest

You must be really bad at budgeting if you don't do much and barely making it. We earn less than that and are very comfortable, saved enough that I can be a SAHM for a few years with no struggles.

The house market seems so nuts to me in London! I have seen houses for £1.2/3m and they are doer-uppers….mental. I really don’t understand who can afford to buy the turnkey ones in at £1.4-5m..?! It doesn’t make any sense.
Who can take on a mortgage of £3-5k + per month… ? It’s almost like the banks have decided to raise house prices and force people to pay significant chunks of their salaries for a laugh.