100k+ salary, is it worth it?

[Goingtogetslated]

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

Well you don't need to spend 1.5 million On a house in the commuter belt though. That's a choice. I live in a decent 5 bed house 40 mins train from London. Obvs 1.5 million quid houses are available but you don't have to choose that.

And if you get something cheaper then that's where you see your expendable income rise and you can go on your holidays etc

You just have to prioritise what you think is
More important I guess. Less than most people with that income but same principle.

Have you ever been to Shenfield? At a conservative estimate a household income of £300k would probably place her at median earnings for the area. It is very monied, as are parts of Brentwood, and even more so since the Elizabeth Line opened.

What locations would you consider fitting for a couple on £300k?

It’s literally the next post. I work PT, I’m sole carer to my parents one who has stage 6 dementia and the other has severe degenerative arthritis. I’m also studying for a second degree. You’re welcome.

OP, I’ve not bothered reading contributions from others as I’m sure they’re pretty flaming, but I just wanted to add my experience of this dilemma.

We moved from London, keeping our jobs with two very good salaries in the City, for a city 60 miles away - commutable, we thought. Very soon I went to three days a week as the 12 hours door to door were killing me. after 6 years we bought a flat in London where XH stayed so he could carry on with five days a week in the City, and I went freelance so I could work and be there for school-age children in the country. Increasingly we grew apart, with my life in the country and his in London. Inevitably we split.

What we should have done is not been half-hearted: either the family stays in London with two big fat salaries or it moves out and creates a full life somewhere else, on two lower salaries but with more time.

So you don't work long hours part time for 20k, you work part time and you have caring and studying as well. Maybe if the hours are too long, you should drop something ?

Not sure what you think I should be thanking you for though?

I didn’t say I work long hours PT.

I’m said “I’m on around 20k PT” then I said “I’m very stressed and work long hours”. Because I’m actually doing 2 jobs as well as studying. I don’t go into the detail because no-one else cares.

You don’t have to thank me, but I found the post that explained your query.

I think people are spectacularly missing the point… in the early 2000s everyone with some money was moving to Clapham, Shoreditch and Stoke Newington. After that Bethnal Green became trendy, Shepherds Bush then most recently Walthamstow a few years back.
Now you have to go to Penge or Anerley or Beckenham or wherever on the Elizabeth Line but it doesn’t really matter because it is still London in that the transport links are great, there is now working from home too for most people in some shape or form and the OP can still get a nice big enough house with a garden near a station. When I was younger we were whining about not being able to afford Nottinghill anymore. Every generation has this, it is not a new thing. It is not a big deal.
Don’t throw away your career you worked so hard for just because of being really tired and worn down by young children and childcare costs. Most successful people had to go through that stage and in the end, if you keep going, you end up with a house that has gone up loads, good pension and early retirement options. You just cannot expect it to happen when you are not in that stage yet, you need to be patient. And don’t burn yourself out in your career, just find clever ways to survive it.
None of my friends who gave up their big jobs and went to the countryside are that happy. Once the kids grow up a bit, they are pretty bored and they cannot retire early like those of us who stayed back and kept the bigger salaries and the house price inflation. Plus the kids have more fun after a certain age growing up in or near a big City. And lots more employment options once they get to that stage. Having somewhere for students to stay when doing work experience is invaluable too.

The fact that 37% think yanbu is almost as crazy as this thread.

It must be very hard for you OP , working long hours in that stressful job of yours, for a meagre salary. I’m glad you’ve managed to find some time to yourself and post this thread, I hope it’s a comfort to you, knowing how incredibly privileged you are.

Every generation has this, it is not a new thing. It is not a big deal.

Every generation doesn't have this, it's actually quite a new thing.

Also, it's got the potential to be a rather big deal if even a small minority of the population don't feel it's worth their while to work/work more because they don't get the lifestyle benefits they feel would justify the effort. Because there are versions of this across the income spectrum, OPs just happens to be the higher earning one, and because we're struggling for workers and productivity as a society at the moment. You don't have to agree with people feeling like this to see that actually, it could be pretty significant.

Agree. We earn half that and are realyl quite priviledged.

Move out of inner London, there are loads of places that are commutable for far less than that.

“we're struggling for workers and productivity as a society at the moment”

The younger generations are too impatient. Blame Amazon next day arrival, online shopping etc.
You have to work hard and be patient. If you don’t, it won’t pay off in the long run. Every generation has had this challenge.
Sure - housing costs are high but our mums and grandmothers did not have apps to order the shopping, set the robot hoover off and get the washing machine running. Nor did they have 6-12 months maternity leave. And most recently, we even get to work from home. It really isn’t as bleak as people make out.
Gen Z to millenials - we see it on our office constantly. Too much whining, not enough hands on deck.

Mmmkay...

I get it. I'm HE and there is no way I would raise a young family with both of us working FT in HE roles.

Personally I would make do with the terrace in London on one of your incomes or even better two reduced hour/incomes but this is very hard to do, then add an even bigger mortgage and commuting costs and times on top.

Even if it should take the same time there is always delays and commuter services only ever get worse and more expensive, and interest rates are just 😖atm.

There's nothing as valuable as having the time and space in your life to spend with those you love and doing what you love. Health can never be guaranteed . You're in a very fortunate situation to be able to choose your lifestyle OP. Do what will make you happy and stress-free.

I absolutely agree. You've made some wrong decisions somewhere down the line if you're struggling on that combined income even in the commuter belt in London.

But 150k nets 7.5k per month before pension, so let’s say 6.5k per month. Double that and you’re at 13k. A 1.5 million mortgage (but in reality you’ll have equity) at 4% is 5 k per month so you net 8k. Childcare isn’t that high once they are school aged so that’s a temporary hit. I hardly think you’re hard up. The weak pound/self inflicted decline in the gb economy doesn’t help. Work life balance is very personal but you aren’t going to get much sympathy on the poverty card…

Personally I do not think you are being unreasonable. Everything is relative. You earn a decent salary and by the sounds of it work bloody hard so do so, sacrificing family time. It’s not wrong of you to want to enjoy the fruits of your labour and feeling frustrated that you can’t.

Are there any lifestyle changes you could make? Could you move somewhere cheaper but still commutable?

The stress from a job paying that much is real. I totally get it tips wine down throat

However, it helps the stress to realise that if you changed tack you really would be fine. You really would.

I guess what the OP is saying, despite them both being high earners they aren't living a life of luxury

I personally think this could be about your level of happiness rather than money. I think that most people live to level of income that they have. Would giving up that salary and moving somewhere else make you happier?

I am a true believer that money does not buy happiness and sometimes I don't think it makes life easier either. I’ve been much happier since working part time, as a single mother of two (one with sen) who as a mortgage it isn't always easy but I feel far happier than I ever did when I worked full time earning more! x

I feel for you OP! We don't earn that much.. closer to 90k between us and had to move out of London to feel like we were earning anything to have a decent lifestyle! Look at moving that little bit further out.. say Essex or Suffolk. You can get a train to Liverpool St from Ipswich quite quickly. You want to work to live, and at the moment you're living to work. London life is bloody hard. Especially when you have children and need to pay childcare

Move out of inner London definitely. Or relocate to somewhere like manchester where you can still earn big bucks but you have plenty of lovely towns and villages in decent commuting distance. I know people who've bought a 5 bed period detached house with the proceeds of selling their 2 bed flat in Central London.

Despite earning less than the average wage I understand what you are trying to say. I think maybe your thinking is that you haven't gained much despite having a very high salary because it's all going on mortgage, childcare, commuting etc
Personally I would move to somewhere cheaper. A nice village (especially if you can WFH) where you can probably buy a very nice 4/5 bed detached house with nice surroundings.
I would do it sooner rather than later if your kids are young too as its harder to relocate them the older they are. Hopefully having such a niche role you can WFH at times and be more in control of your working times?
Curious what sort of role you are in but understand if you don't want to share.

Also, the people leaving negative comments have no idea about what is required from a job that pays that much and the sacrifices you have to make. Always being on call basically and high pressure! Ignore it they're just being salty.

What I want to understand is:
do you work in the office everyday? Could you WFH at least some of the time and
also could your Husband because he also needs to assist with a lifestyle change.

Then look at towns further out in both directions & start seeing what you can get for 1-1.5 million but also start looking at jobs in those towns- you’d be surprised. You say your job is niche but I’m guessing you must have ton of transferable skills. Have you considered working about a freelance?

perhaps lower your expectations on the value of the house. Yes a WOW house would be lovely but something clearly has to give. Wouldn’t you rather have more family time, nicer holidays etc? I’m sure a 700k hse in the right area would be amazing!

I do know what you mean about earning a lot but not feeling wealthy. We earn 160ish between us and don’t live in London. My husband was commuting into London for years & so we’ve thought about it many times. There is nothing we could afford in any area we would consider living. Luxe living in London is for multi millionaire these days.