100k+ salary, is it worth it?

[Goingtogetslated]

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

I don't understand the pile on - you're just looking for some perspective. You are perfectly entitled to seek a better balance in life.

We might be living the alternative lifestyle you described - we struggle to get by sometimes when it comes to finances and space. However, on the whole we have lots of fun and time, energy and headspace for our little ones. Personally I would choose to struggle financially in order to have the family dynamic we do over being a higher earner, outsourcing everything and being constantly stressed. Don't get me wrong it isn't all sunshine and roses but it would still be my preference.

Could you take in some ironing?

Yes, this!

I don’t understand this.
We have a combined salary of £250/300k. I work locally but my husband works in central London. We live in a 7 bedroom house with curb appeal, in a desirable commuter town, 30ish mins train into London, £3.5k mortgage payment. We live very comfortably on that salary, money left each month to put into savings. I’m not sure what areas you are looking that means a 4 bed family home costs minimum £1.5……… but where I live you can buy a nice family home 4-5 bedrooms for £750-900k, 30 min train into London. Families who live here earn a lot less than you, commute into London and live pretty comfortable lives.

You're not selling it - who wants a 3 hour round trip commute into work??

If you work hard and earn 309k between you and aren’t happy with your lives…then, no, it’s not worth it.

Hi OP. I can understand where you're coming from. People will tell you you're In the 'top 1%' or whatever, but there are huge swathes of London where a flat is £1 million or more. So if you're going to be pushed out to a 'neither here nor there' suburb, I could understand why you're wondering if it's worth going somewhere else entirely.

I don't know, to be honest. Do you not have any equity in your current house? What kind of mortgage would you be looking for?

Shoreditch and the surrounding areas are buzzing these days, but also very intense, I think, as you get older. For context, we left there for SW London in the late 1990s. That same flat that was worth probably £150 back then is now worth £900k. God knows what younger people can do these days.

If I were you with a young family on your budget, I would try places like Teddington or St Margaret's in SW London? Loads commute from there. Southfields is a lot cheaper than Wimbledon. Mortlake / Sheen are cheaper than Barnes or Fulham. SE London is calmer and greener for kids and you are never far from the river or large parks. What are you thinking schools-wise?

I hear you OP, I am a few years older than you and DH and I are similar earners. We were looking at how much our "core expenditure" was then at how much one person would need to earn to meet that. £100K giving a take home of £5400.

That pays for 2 teenage DCs, a 15 yo mortgage on a 4 bed house in the home counties, with no holidays, no pension and no savings.

A high salary on paper doesn't get you as far as you might think.

I’ve said yanbu because MOST people live quite tightly within their means and as they earn more, expect more. You want the best nursery, best private school, best quality food from Waitrose, hair done every six weeks, new electric car, ski trip and AI break, expensive Christmas gifts and showering your kids with extracurricular fun. Or whatever.

My dh and I moved out of London and opted for smaller careers so I now earn less than I did 15 years ago although dh earns more. We are ver happy with our choice but you may seriously regret leaving London - it is hard to move back. So be ver sure before you trade in your life for something simpler.

You're not selling it - who wants a 3 hour round trip commute into work??

It would be a minimum of 4 if you include getting to the station and then getting to where you need to be in London.

A combined income of 10K a month is MAD. Yet here you are on MN whinging. Bye

DH was earning over £100k. He missed a lot of the kids lives, he ended up with a massive tax bill, and he had to give up his job due to stress, and will be taking AD’s for life. Not worth it IMO as you only have one life, he can’t do it again but differently.

Sorry SW London that should have read (not SE).

It's unbelievably tiresome that any challenge to a an OP such as this (for example, suggesting that a family home doesn't need 4000sq ft of living space to qualify as 'decent') is dismissed as jealousy.

There are still lots of people in the south east who are shielded from those costs, because of having bought a while back or having SH. But relatively recent purchasers and in particular private renters get the full whack of the dysfunction.

yeah one of my relatives doesn't understand why my house is so small or why her dd is still renting & how expensive renting costs. When I was talking about the cost of holidays & childcare during the holidays she said "that's why I bought a holiday home, makes it all so much cheaper". 🙄 And yes it was cheap but she didn't work so could uproot for 5 weeks.

@Goingtogetslated part of the issue is that you are looking at this from your current perspective and where you are in your life cycle rather than thinking about your whole life cycle. It’s about delayed gratification.

Yes, a 1.5m house is going to cost a lot now in mortgage payments, but what you are actually doing is investing in an asset that in 25 or 30 years you will own out right and it will have probably increased in value. Once the mortgage is paid you are £ in and you have an asset you can sell to buy say a beautiful cottage or lock up and leave appartment.

Yes, you will be paying a lot into your pension, whilst benefitting from tax relief. The pay off is a very comfortable early retirement which you should be able to enjoy for decades. Once retired you stop the pension contributions and don’t pay NI or commuting costs so again £ in. You also have pension and savings to give you a fantastic retirement.

Yes, childcare is expensive but it is for a relatively short time. It also enables you both to continue to build your careers and your income. Again you eventually stop paying and have extra £.

Yes, children are expensive but if you have 2, unless they have a disability, in total it’s about 25 years of serious expenses. However, this usually coincides with paying the mortgage etc. so does add to the feeling of never enough income. Again this will end giving you more disposable £.

The period between age 30 (+/-) and 50/55 are the most draining in £ terms but that’s 25 years out of a c75 years. Get it right and from age 50/55 you will have the £10k a month (or more);income with no mortgage and little or no child/childcare costs. You can opt for part time or early retirement and enjoy what you have built.

Regardless of income, the vast majority of people feel the same when doing that 25 year hard slog.

That sounds a bit shite really. We don't earn anything like 100k even between us and have a much nicer life than that. It really is a high premium people pay to be in the south east. Seems a shame to have to cough up to that level if you're not getting a lot of enjoyment and benefit from it.

Could you not move out of London? We are in SE, 45 min train journey into Liverpool St. Average house price is around £400k. Plenty of beautiful houses with lots of character - doesn't need to be a non descript new build.

That would surely free up a lot of outgoings in mortgage etc. No need to live in London.

It depends where though.

There are plenty of decent places in the SE within commuting distance of London where the OP could get a very nice detached 4/5 bed for £6/700k. Yes, relatively expensive for mere mortals, but a snip on a £300k salary.

A lot of people cannot or will not understand if they haven't been through it. Whenever the topic comes up on here, there are always people saying they can afford their London housing costs fine and then it later transpires that they first got on the ladder 15 years ago. Hmmm, maybe that might have something to do with your comfortable situation then!

OP I moved from the South to the North.

It was incredibly freeing. Yes we have less money but the quality of life allows us to breathe.

For one the traffic isn't half as bad either.

I don't think London is worth it for a young family no.

Unless you're so passionate about your work that you'd do it for any salary...the whole point of achieving a very high income is to provide a very nice lifestyle.

To me, no, a household income of £300k wouldn't be worth it for the lifestyle op describes. Yes, great by the time you get to retirement maybe. But you need to balance that with enjoying your life now. You might get hit by a bus tomorrow.

We have a household income of about £80k and we're in South Wales. Both work 4 days. Large 4 bed house, huge garden, lovely area, plenty left after bills. Minimal childcare needed. Plenty of free family time, wfh job (me) and local job (DH) that we step away from at the end of the day. Certainly no on call time or overtime, I work and get paid for my 35 hours and not a second more.

It sounds like we have a better lifestyle than the op and we're earning a quarter of their income. So no, it wouldn't seem worth it to me.

Our household income is 110k and we have a lovely house and lifestyle. We are 1h away from London and our house was 500k so think you are looking in the wrong places.

I think I understand what you are getting at op.

I would say that you would be better getting jobs up North and buying outright once you have the equity to do so.

We did that (although our circumstances are different) and wish we'd done it years ago.

Just to note that to get UC these days, you have to earn a very low wage and have no savings.

Agreed - my husband used to commute to London from Berkshire, technically a 30 minute train journey. But the actual journey took him at least double that time door to door, and we live close to the station.

OP lives in London & presumably has an easy commute now so it's unrealistic to think they will want to move out somewhere with a 1.5 hour train journey just to get into London with longer to get to their office.