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Original poster

100k+ salary, is it worth it?

1000 replies

Goingtogetslated · 22/04/2023 23:51

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
tubing · 23/04/2023 06:46

Did anyone say the link the OP posted was a starter home?

Changingtides1234 · 23/04/2023 06:46

Goingtogetslated · 23/04/2023 03:04

Well thank you all for your comments, both critical and positive. I shall take it all onboard and reevaluate my expectations.
I feel a bit sad that a predominantly female community has in the main told me to lower my expectations and “check myself”

I am stunned at the madness of house prices
my husband and I have a combined salary of just over 75000 (midlands) and we have 1300 after bills and childcare. We have an end of terrace house (but it’s in a lovely area) We do obviously get childcare benefit etc but you are earning more than 3x.

if I were you I would certainly be considering a big change. If you’re working long Hours especially then it really isn’t worth it

MathsNervous · 23/04/2023 06:48

SunshineAndFizz · 22/04/2023 23:57

I think Justin Timberlake said it best; cry me a river.

More or less, you have it in one.

Heatherbell1978 · 23/04/2023 06:49

I understand the principle of your post but £300k is just such a huge salary it's not really one to complain about. We earn £160k combined and not in London and I do think we should have 'more' to show for that. We're in the suburbs and a nice house in the city in a nice catchment is pretty much out of our reach. So yeah move and you'll live like kings. That salary would get us a very comfortable lifestyle where I live. Very.

LudicrouslyCapaciousBag · 23/04/2023 06:50

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 23/04/2023 06:44

Like I said...not a starter home.

Show quote history

And? I didn’t say it was.

OP says it’s the ‘kind of house she can visualise herself in’ despite being a ‘nondescript new build’. I do not think that house is most people’s idea of a nondescript new build.

MathsNervous · 23/04/2023 06:50

Move to Scotland, with £300k salary you would be like a multimillionaire 🤣

Bs0u416d · 23/04/2023 06:51

We earn similar to you OP but live outside London. 4 bed Victorian semi in a leafy suburb circa £500, cheaper nursery fees and school fees I imagine (no kids here) and easy access into London if needed. Could you consider taking your roles remote or getting similar paying roles which allows for a greater degree of geographical freedom? I think you should aim to keep the high salaries but that you're right to move to a less expensive town/city/village and enjoy the benefits of your hard work.

tubing · 23/04/2023 06:51

would the op be able to move some distance & keep both high salaries?

tubing · 23/04/2023 06:53

You need a lot of childcare to juggle 2 f/t jobs, commutes & school runs.

ZenNudist · 23/04/2023 06:57

Zorilla · 23/04/2023 00:06

I can see the type of responses you're getting..but I do understand where you're coming from.

We earn approx half of what you do, and we don't live in London but elsewhere in the southeast. But we have the same problem as you - currently live in an extended 3-bed semi in a nice village. We have a decent amount of spare money each month, but surprisingly not enough to get us a 4 bed detached house in the area we live in - for that we would need to increase our mortgage by 400k. It really makes me wonder what is the point in working FT as it's hard work and we'd have pretty much the same lifestyle if I worked 3 days a week.

I sympathise too. Similar boat here. Working my arse off, tonnes of stress but can't afford the 5 bed detached and so live Similar lifestyle to people earning much less. Also can't see me earning enough to retire early. My pension is shit.

I will holiday 5 times this year but not Bali or anywhere lavish. You must be able to afford holidays.

Kids activities are expensive. Childcare costs are ££££.

CCSA · 23/04/2023 06:58

Like a lot of people I meet you’re being a princess around your expectations with housing particularly around location - there are plenty of reasonable places to buy a 4 bed at least on way less than you’re suggesting. It’s be nice if we could all have such amazing houses on the tube line but it’s a law of supply and demand unfortunately…

SamPoodle123 · 23/04/2023 06:58

Goingtogetslated · 22/04/2023 23:51

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

I totally get this and it is so frustrating. So annoying when people make comments acting like you are in the wrong for posting this. Many people are in the same position. London is freaking expensive. I have thought many times why are we here? I think about moving a lot. It is crazy how much we are taxed and how expensive it is to live here. I agree in regard to earning too much to see any benefits. The government should help people that actually want to work with childcare. Cost of nursery was too high for me to return to work after having my second dc....whereas the government helps people who do not work with housing and money the more kids they have..... I was not a high earning like you when I stopped working, but I would have continued if nursery was not 500 a month more then my salary!!

Yuja · 23/04/2023 06:58

We earn less than a third of what you do and feel comfortable in the SE. We have a 5 bed detached in an area where you could commute to London which we bought for substantially less than 1.5 million. You are in no way middle ground

bozzabollix · 23/04/2023 06:59

We live in Kent on an income of £185k. Wouldn’t say we’re awash with cash but definitely don’t have to worry and have a nice five bed house with a load of land around it. Ashford is 20 mins away with a 37 minute train up to London.

You’re in the London mindset, everyone is poor in London even if they earn a ton of money. I don’t understand why anyone stays there. Move out and things will radically improve.

TheHoover · 23/04/2023 07:00

OP how old are you and DH? is the3-bed your first house (eg you were renting or in a flat before?)
To me it just sounds like you are on the property ladder but impatient to get to the top. Happens to everyone but your situation just has bigger figures.
Sit tight, pay off as much of the mortgage as you can and then buy that £1.5 mill property in 7-8 years with your equity.
Its what everyone else has to do unless they come into a wodge of cash to boost their deposit.

Tryingtokeepcalmandcarryon · 23/04/2023 07:01

Goingtogetslated · 23/04/2023 01:40

@friendlycat i want th attractive 4/5 bed house in a nice town where my kids can run around safe….pub, shops, train station commute ….sounds cliche? Probably is.
I absolutely have no desire to stay where we are.
Houses I see that i can visualise myself in are 1.3-1.5 million.
alternatively we take out equity and run, get a nice 5 bed for 750? But low job prospects

OP we have that in a commuter town in the SE- 40/50 min train into London, you can get a really nice detached 4 bed for 750/800k with very good local schools. But obviously it’s not in London and it has the feel of the suburbs. Partner is on 150k and I’m a SAHM - a lot goes into his pension via salary sacrifice for the big tax breaks, obviously everything is paid by him and then we have some left each month. If you and your family moved to a similar area and did the same you could get the house you want and a great lifestyle for the children with free schools and save into your pension and retire early. But you can’t just hop into London when you want, it costs approx £45 each day plus you are reliant on trains into Waterloo. And once your children are settled in schools they prob wouldn’t want to move again! Depends if your husband would need to commute, and how much you would all miss your London life, but you could get a much less stressful job where you WFH etc. my brother chose Chiswick over our town and for 1 mil + he has a house half the size and a patio garden. But more options for eating out / shops / things to do etc if that’s what you want.

Figmentof · 23/04/2023 07:02

Goingtogetslated · 23/04/2023 00:02

I knew I would get slated hence the username.….
We don’t need to worry about paying bills no, but I suppose my issue is that I’ve followed this career with the end game of having a lovely family home, a few nice holidays and outgoings, yet this seems beyond our reach.

im not asking for help from the government, just stating that we don’t get any allowances….20% tax free childcare adds up

I have taken a step back lately, but DH and I have both been on £100k+ salaries for quite some time until recently. And yes, I also think you are being absurd, particularly on the not being able to afford a decent house.

My train journey is 35-45 minutes into London and we can easily afford a nice house in this area. We actually have a three bed because we don’t have children and it is what we need, but we would also have easily been able to get. 4/5 bed house in this area, so yes in commuter belt. There is nothing wrong with the system, it seems like you are doing something wrong and are both appalling at managing money.

Casuaala · 23/04/2023 07:06

Well, I feel sorry for OP.

Not so long ago I was on £50k, DP on about £32k (unmarried, separate finances). Never inherited, never received benefits.
My mortgage was paid off. We were having three foreign holidays a year, plus little breaks at the coast or spa hotels. We ate out regularly and spent too much on takeaway. My only real indulgence is books, but I still have a pile to get round to reading.
I had a quality of lifestyle I couldn’t have dreamt of as a child. So, I genuinely feel sorry for OP that she has so much money and is still dissatisfied with her life.

tubing · 23/04/2023 07:07

@UnaVaca for those houses you posted can you walk to stations or would you need a bus/car?

maddening · 23/04/2023 07:08

But do you need to work in London? I have several people I know (family and friends) who are in North West on that money and are also hybrid working so even less commute. Best of both worlds.

I would find Jobs commanding the good salary which allow you to live elsewhere either another location entirely or a more hybrid arrangement in london Eg my team is located all over the country, some do live in or around London and their office base is London- but at 1 day in the office each week and the rest from home the commute is more manageable these days.

Marchitectmummy · 23/04/2023 07:08

I understand the struggle you describe. We were both roughly you a 5 or 6 years back.

What i did want to say is it does get easier. The mortgage will start to be paid and the repayment will reduce, as it reduces you can then over pay as you overpay the term reduces. In a period of 10 years you may find yourself paid off.

Wages will also increase you may find yourselves doing something less stress and similar pay.

Your stressful job might become less stressful as you become more efficient and better at it with even more experience or better coping mechanisms for stress.

Your children get older and with that gain independence so the loading from them ontop of your job lessens.

You can't have what you describe now perhaps but quickly you will. Bare with it.

Anecdotal but we have been through a simar crisis, wd are out the other side. Still in London, really happy our daughters attending fantastic schools, mortgage paid off. Different roles, still hugh income and for us more time at home etc.

Museya15 · 23/04/2023 07:09

Goingtogetslated · 23/04/2023 00:08

A decent family home within commuting distance to London ~1.5 million could easily be 6k a month on mortgage.
Childcare 2k, commuting for 2 £500?
so yes, even if we earn 10k a month post tax we could be left with £1500 for bills/food/life

You deserve every bit of slating from this comment alone

AliceMay55 · 23/04/2023 07:10

OP, how old are you? Are you tax planning efficiently? If you both put 50k each into pensions, you could still end up with around £10k disposable income - try playing around with numbers. Google “take home pay calculator”

How often do you go into the office?

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