Aibu to find this a massive turn off from my boyfriend of a year?

[Untrusting]

Been with boyfriend for not far off a year. Both got kids from previous relationships and live separately.
We have a great time whenever we're together and I love him however like all relationships there's been some small niggles along the way.

Last week he was due to go back in work and decided the night before to throw a sick day in - not the biggest crime I've done it a couple of times in my lifetime however he's now decided to go down a 'medical route' and asked the doctors to sign him off for weeks with a fictional injury.

I suppose I'm just quite shocked by it all to be honest. All my friends and family have a good work ethic and I find it really off putting that he's done this.
AIBU to find this a massive turn off?

Don't know if I see a future anymore with this man but I'll be so very sad to end it when there's so much I like about him but I've lost a lot of respect for him from this. He's actually rang in sick for 2 separate weeks in the year that I've known him but this is going to go on obviously a lot longer. Such a stupid risk to take as well when you're a home owner, have bills to pay and kids of your own to take care of.

Shit worth ethic and lazy bastard-itis aside…

I am sure he knows (just doesn’t care) about the state of the NHS on it’s knees, and GP surgery’s taking 2 weeks+ to get an appointment, if at all. There are genuine patients who will be declined a much needed genuine fucking appointment space for this selfish lazy idiot. Nor do the overworked, under appreciated Dr’s need malingering time wasters adding to their already unbearable work load.

In this time period in particular, I personally couldn’t see past this. Add that to the work ethic issues I am not sure you should let it slide either. Please if anything though remind him of the state of NHS and GP waiting times and the real and very desperate need of each and every available appointment, must go to those most truly in need. He can’t play with other people and families lives and health like that for a kushty week off!! 😡

@MrsTerryPratchett 👏👏👏

It might not be the way you or I would cope with a recent double bereavement plus a toxic manager but I can understand him feeling overwhelmed and trying to self care and find a way out at the same time without going under financially. It's not like he's done this when everything is peachy and he has a great manager supporting him. He's not leaning on you financially and it sounds like he's looking for a new job so maybe give him the benefit of the doubt for now and assume that despite putting on a brave front he is really struggling to cope. I think you need to read between the lines a bit in this situation. It's pretty typical to feel absolutely flattened for a year after the bereavement of someone you were close to. Perhaps he isn't quite as strong as you but that doesn't make him a bad person. If he hasn't been selfish, exploitative or lazy in any other situation in the last year maybe he's a good guy who told the doctor how he's feeling and got signed off?

I just want to add, i haven’t rtft, only OP and page 1 of replies.

I have to add I 100% support genuine MH problems being reason for needing time off, as legitimate and worthy as psychical health problems. OP hasn’t stated that was the case, if it turns out the bf has that going on, then fair enough. If however as is was stated in op, that a factional illness was to be made up, and an appointment would be taken at the GP surgery, depriving those in need of either type, then shame on him.

I may be particularly sensitive on this subject, as my local GP is so broken and on the floor, run by a couple locums only for a few years with no permanent main GP’s, and me having very serious physical and mental health problems relating to multiple health conditions of mine, I can’t get an appointment for blood nor money.

*fictional

I hope you don't live with the man, op.

No. That’s not it.

The dishonesty would be a deal-breaker for me, irrespective of whether he's faking it or genuinely struggling.

Whatever you decide, make sure it's not the start of a slippery slope in your relationship. Does he have a key to your home? Is he going to be hanging out there during the day while you're at work? What if he loses his job and can't find another? Will he and his kids always be at yours for meals, and look to you to fund outings? What if he wants to move in? I'd be very, very wary.

i was brought up by parents who had a great work-ethic and were full of integrity. I’ve picked that up from them and have never pulled a sickie in more than two decades working. The only sick leave I’ve had has been when I’ve been recovering from surgery. I despise people with poor work-ethic and who abuse the system.

No we don't live together - I actually have a key for his house but he doesn't have one for mine.
I don't get the impression he'd try and sponge off me, he's only ever been what I'd call generous but I think it's the casual lying and for what will be a few weeks that Im struggling with the most.
Honesty is a really important factor to me in a relationship as it is to most people.

Maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it.

He sounds to be fed up of work and we can all talk ourselves into feeling worse that what we are

personally lying to get a sick note would put me off someone strong work ethic I feel is important

we have become so indulged that some absolutely take the piss time and time again the work ethic of some is just appalling now

Dishonesty is a real turnoff.