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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be tired of receiving unwanted regifted items?

88 replies

giftdilemma · 22/04/2023 18:59

First of all I regift too but if I know the person would like the gift and it suits them.

I am so tired of receiving unwanted regifted items. People seem to just want to get rid of stuff they do not want rather than put any thought in it.

Some items I have received:

Bath soak - I no longer have a bath since getting my bathroom refitted. Everyone knows I had a new bathroom as I was using everyone's showers during the fitting.

Bright orange scarf: I only ever wear dark clothes and accessories.

Children's clothes: clothing given to my newborn girl that is age 5-6 and also boys pyjamas for her.

Other items include: dried flower arrangements, coasters, socks, houseplants. I am open about being a minimalist and not wanting stuff.

Most of the stuff I take to the charity shop because I wouldn't want to inflict it on anyone else.

The lack of thought is sad. I put so much effort into getting gifts people would like and I would rather have nothing than these thoughtless items.

OP posts:

BurntOrangeAutumn · 23/04/2023 10:58

QueenCamilla · 23/04/2023 10:09

Just stop having "The Occasions" .
Are you one of these people who do Baby Showers, gender reveals, a vow renewal annually, birthday events, hens, stags, Easter Egg hunt, Street parties, New baby celebrations, Christenings, house warming get-togethers, Summer Bloody Solstices, Graduation Parties, Harvest festival... Just stop!

I don't like gifts or being celebrated so the only gifts that I get, is around Christmas time. Every other time is avoidable by not making an "occasion" out of things.

You don't celebrate birthdays? Do you have kids? If so do you mark the occasion or ignore birthdays?

Original poster

giftdilemma · 23/04/2023 11:26

crossstitchingnana · 23/04/2023 10:07

Whatever happened to graciously accepting a gift? OP you sound like a nightmare to buy for, so maybe they don't want to waste their money?

I still remember, 20 years ago a "friend" handing me back my gift saying it's not to her taste. I thought about that gift, and I thought her response was incredibly rude. We are no longer friends (a combination of things).

I do graciously accept the gifts. But some of the thoughtlessness and regifting is just too much like a half eaten box of chocolates or a gift engraved with their initials.

OP posts:

Original poster

giftdilemma · 23/04/2023 11:28

QueenCamilla · 23/04/2023 10:09

I don't like gifts or being celebrated so the only gifts that I get, is around Christmas time. Every other time is avoidable by not making an "occasion" out of things.

Don't do any of those but birthdays. Occasions do come up in life. Impossible to avoid.

OP posts:

Original poster

giftdilemma · 23/04/2023 11:29

Mortimercat · 23/04/2023 10:24

You cannot complain about regifting when you do it yourself. 🤷‍♀️

Yes I regift but I wouldn't give a half eaten box of chocolates to someone or a gift engraved with my initials. There is a difference.

OP posts:

Original poster

giftdilemma · 23/04/2023 11:32

QueenCamilla · 23/04/2023 10:18

Also, I'm very doubtful that the gifts you are making are in themselves great. I'm sure they're dear to people who love you but otherwise there's a high risk of cringe. Unless you're incredibly skilled at making something and people can commission you for a particular piece as a present - that would be perfect indeed.

Maybe they are not great but I have seen them regularly displayed in their homes for many years (unless they get them out every time I visit which is possible). I get asked for more of the gifts too.

OP posts:

Original poster

giftdilemma · 23/04/2023 11:34

Pinkocsb · 23/04/2023 10:42

You make them gifts and are sure they like them? How do you know they aren’t just displaying them for your benefit? A lot of people would think a home made present is cheap and therefore not what to spend money on you…

Show quote history

Yes they could have been displaying them for over 10 years for my benefit. They ask me for more of them so maybe they are not that bad.

I think a homemade gift is less cheap than a half eaten box of chocolates.

OP posts:

Original poster

giftdilemma · 23/04/2023 11:37

SchoolShenanigans · 23/04/2023 10:47

You sound spoilt to me. Maybe they thought you'd suit the orange scarf. Maybe our friend thinks it's nice to give your children a sweet treat, a sign that they think of you.

The kids clothes was a bit odd I guess, but perhaps they thought you'd want the clothes for when she's older. Newborns don't need much.

But ultimately, there aren't objectively good gifts, and not everyone is good at gift giving or has the same time/money to put into the preparation for good gift giving.

You are an adult, you should be able to accept this by now.

How is it spoilt? I accept the gifts and then give them to the charity shop.

I do think some people are poor at gift giving. Regifting stale smelling items, expired chocolates etc is pretty thoughtless.

OP posts:

Original poster

giftdilemma · 23/04/2023 11:38

Walkingtheplank · 23/04/2023 10:49

I have a regifting friend. So far as a family we've received pencils with her child's name embossed on them, a child's diary completed by her child, two half used toiletry sets squished into the wrong packaging and a calendar for the previous year.

I have multiple times said let's stop doing presents but she'll say we have to because she's already bought gifts. I've stopped making a huge effort but she is the only one I know who complains about other people's gift. She particularly doesn't want perishables, presumably as these are more difficult to regift.

@Walkingtheplank with these gifts it is clear it is regifting! I also received a gift engraved with their initials!

OP posts:

Mortimercat · 23/04/2023 11:40

giftdilemma · 23/04/2023 11:29

Yes I regift but I wouldn't give a half eaten box of chocolates to someone or a gift engraved with my initials. There is a difference.

Show quote history

I guess people don’t think very much of you or are sick of you demanding presents for your made up events (you mention it is not just Christmas and birthday). I have never heard of anyone receiving a half eaten box of chocolates as an actual gift.

You regift and give people your home made tat. I will maintain you have a cheek to moan about other people regifting.

ejbaxa · 23/04/2023 11:44

Charity shop anything they'll take
Put excess cake/half eaten choc in the food waste.

Get it all out of your home, then it's easier to forget about.

Also, make a no presents policy for all events/birthdays/Christmas.

Original poster

giftdilemma · 23/04/2023 11:45

Mortimercat · 23/04/2023 11:40

You regift and give people your home made tat. I will maintain you have a cheek to moan about other people regifting.

Show quote history

😂

OP posts:

Gettingbysomehow · 23/04/2023 11:55

I would genuinely prefer nothing than regifted rubbish. I don't want cards either, it's all rubbish that has to be recycled or dumped somewhere.
I would prefer that somebody just picked up the phone and said happy birthday/christmas or whatever, let's arrange now to meet up this year.

CurlewKate · 23/04/2023 12:05

@Iloveacurry "Is it the ILs giving you the regifted presents??"

Course it is. Who else would b so evil?

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