Where would you like to have grown up, place A or place B? (House move related)

[Coffeeandbourbons]

2 kids, 3 and newborn. Looking to move and due to office locations we have 2 options.

Option 1 - large, exciting, vibrant city. I lived here for 10 years and adored it, I have a good social life there but the downside is it’s very expensive (so house would be smaller and a bit crapper), and it’s not overly ‘green’ - nor is the surrounding countryside particularly remarkable. Kids don’t have a particularly outdoorsy life, it’s more about indoor activities. Schools are hit and miss some are very run down.

Option 2 - much smaller, less exciting City. Still nice, but a little Brexit-land and monocultural. Cheaper so could afford a better house and some holidays, and is surrounded by beautiful countryside and close to amazing beaches. I don’t really have any friends there so would be starting again. Schools better.

YANBU - Option 1
YABU - Option 2

As you can tell I can’t make my mind up! Thanks all.

I would say 1 (assuming it’s London?) but I live in a cheaper, smaller city with beaches nearby and it’s great. Could you name the cities for some specific advice?

What sounds nightmarish about it?

I grew up in 1 & now live in 2 (!!) Both good.

2 but I'm not the best person to ask. I spent 3 years living in a city and hated it. I could never do it again

2 definitely. You spend most of your childhood at home and school. They should be the best available at the time. And can I just comment. The babies are 3yrs and newborn but not outdoorsy? How do you know yet? 😁

Option 2

Good advice. And I meant the kids in city 1!

2!!

If city 2 is Canterbury, going to a good secondary relies on passing the 11+.

TBH, I’d go for option 3 - coastal town.

Would a satellite town to vibrant city 1 be possible? if there’s an option with decent schools, then you could only be a short train ride away from friends.

Also is there a seasonal element to beach city 2? If so it might be pretty grim out of summer season.

Option 1 if there’s a neighborhood that’s safe and with decent schools. Not a huge fan of the Brexit culture and would rather have a smaller house in a better location, then go out of town at weekends to enjoy the outdoors.

I live in 1, but would advise you to go for 2 on the grounds of schools. It is hard when your kids are so young to really understand just how much inadequate schools can impact your family life - and how mediocre a mediocre school can be. So in my experience, getting the school right (and ideally having a few options) is vital.

I also personally find it's reassuring to have a smaller mortgage - as I've hit my forties I am more and more knackered and can't see myself working full tilt into my sixties. So it's good to know I will have the mortgage paid off fairly soon and can then ease off on earning, drop my hours or do something less demanding. It gives you choices.

From how you feel about option 2 ( no diversity of views there at all,really? ) please choose option 1.

Option 1 for me, absolutely. I'd always happily chose smaller home in exchange for vibrant large-city culture.

Though the way you've written the descriptions of each I think you actually prefer option 2, either consciously or unconsciously.

Same. The voting is as clear as mud but definitely 2 for the kids.

We have lived in option 2 while the children have been at secondary school. They will all be finished in September and the house is already on the market.
It hasn't been hell but I have never felt comfortable here politically and socially. Brexit had a huge impact and so did Covid.
I realise that is just my experience.

Option 2 for me 😊

Better schools and better financial situation is the clear choice.

1!

I think the schools are the no 1 thing for kids. Depends how bad they are in area A

Countryside every time

2 - the outside life is more for me and my kids plus holidays :) I’m all about the rural life, would hate to live in a city/big town

Thanks everyone lots to think about here.

A satellite town to option 1 could be possible, but generally speaking the prices reflect the fact they’re commutable to city 1 and in some places are even higher owing to being close by yet also semi rural. And then we would have commuter costs on top as well.

I’m not hugely fussy about schools, but I would like something on the better end of average and the schools in city 1 tend to be either absolutely dire or very competitive or private (cannot afford). I don’t want to take that gamble as they’re too little for me to know if they’re bright or not yet - oldest is 3 and at the moment she seems perfectly average.

I suppose we could go for city 2 with a view to reevaluating in time for secondary school. This could work - they’ll be slightly older so we would all enjoy the city, whereas if we moved there now it wouldn’t be great for their ages and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it anyway because they’re too small for me to have a hectic social life again! But would a move at 8 and 11 be disruptive? 🤔

Both have their pros and cons but green space and good schools would win for me.

Option 1 for me every time. My DS at least has always valued being able to get about, go to museums and galleries, he swims so a pool is much more useful than a beach as you can't race in the sea. Also for us at least access to a v good hospital is a necessity due to health issues. We could have more spa if not in a city but I hated country living when growing up.