Where would you like to have grown up, place A or place B? (House move related)

[Coffeeandbourbons]

2 kids, 3 and newborn. Looking to move and due to office locations we have 2 options.

Option 1 - large, exciting, vibrant city. I lived here for 10 years and adored it, I have a good social life there but the downside is it’s very expensive (so house would be smaller and a bit crapper), and it’s not overly ‘green’ - nor is the surrounding countryside particularly remarkable. Kids don’t have a particularly outdoorsy life, it’s more about indoor activities. Schools are hit and miss some are very run down.

Option 2 - much smaller, less exciting City. Still nice, but a little Brexit-land and monocultural. Cheaper so could afford a better house and some holidays, and is surrounded by beautiful countryside and close to amazing beaches. I don’t really have any friends there so would be starting again. Schools better.

YANBU - Option 1
YABU - Option 2

As you can tell I can’t make my mind up! Thanks all.

1, I wouldn't move somewhere where I didn't know anybody, very isolating especially with you

Sorry, posted too early!!

Especially with young children.

You sound very snobby about option 2 and appear to have written off an entire community without actually getting to know anyone.
Perhaps better staying in your vibrant city with your closed mind.

I think I'd go for better schools and more green spaces. Just because a 3 year old doesn't have outdoor interests doesn't mean they won't always.

It really depends on the city. Bath is smaller than many cities and not very exciting for teenagers, but so is Hull!

How safe is option 1 for older children? Will you be happy for them to travel to and from school independently at 11? Will you be happy for them to be in the city with their friends?

Sorry I just find it depressing being surrounded by England flags and casual racism where I am at the moment, and don’t want more of the same. Actually I’m not sorry for that.

2

Option 2 sounds awful OP! Just imagine the small minded/racist etc views that your children will be exposed to at the local school!

I don’t think it’s ‘as bad’ as where I am now, or I wouldn’t consider it. It’s just definitely not as modern as the big city.

Absolutely 1. I grew up in a brexit monoculture town and moved to London as soon as I was an adult. My parents lived in London before I was born and when I found this out as a kid I was furious at them for not bringing me up there

Absolutely 1. I grew up in a brexit monoculture town and moved to London as soon as I was an adult. My parents lived in London before I was born and when I found this out as a kid I was furious at them for not bringing me up there

2 sounds brilliant

2 definitely. Beaches, better schools, bigger house, you don’t say but it sounds like it would be safer so more freedom and independence.

I don’t think that the kids will really care about brexit TBH and most small towns will have an element of Tory-ness about them, unless it’s somewhere like hebden bridge which brings its own issues. But if it’s national front, offensive graffiti and all white kids at the local school then obviously that’s different.

Same here with city 1! Parents left when expecting my oldest sibling because ‘the countryside is better for children’. We grew up in a small boring muddy village, I left the moment I turned 18. I’m furious with them for leaving and not staying in city 1! But then city 2 isn’t a village and does have things going on, it’s just not quite as exciting.

I guess selfishly I wanted everyone to vote for city 1 as it’s my ‘true love’, but really if we moved back I know it wouldn’t be the social paradise it was when I was there before as I have 2 small children now. Plus the mortgage would be hideous.

Option 2. Good schools and proximity to scenic places are very important to me.

I'm in the US in a 'red' county (albeit in a 'blue' state), in the countryside near-ish a large mostly conservative town. We've lived here over 20 years and we've found that there are pockets of 'blue' and people of like minds to be found in the 'reddest' place. I daresay it's the same in the UK.

Depends how bad the culture is in 2. For example Woking (sorry to anyone who likes Woking!) I found to be pretty racist, with the UKIP flags etc, pretty grim in terms of the centre and very monoculture unless you count the Vietnamese women doing nails. The fact that it's set in the beautiful countryside of Surrey would absolutely not be enough to persuade me to bring kids up there. Also, realistically how close are the beaches and the countryside? Close enough to be there every weekend?

I currently live in Bristol as do my siblings and my 5 and 7 year old niece and nephew. My niece and nephew are very happy here. They love their multicultural schools, they have playdates on most weekends (not sure what's wrong with activities at home - presumably you'll have a garden?) and there are parks to go to for a run around. Also my siblings make an effort every couple of weeks to get out of the city - there must be places to visit around city 1 that are nice? Forests, country walks, river walks etc? I can't imagine what kind of city really wouldn't have any of this stuff (parks, countryside etc). My 15 y/o niece is also extremely happy here with all the offerings of the city as you can imagine!

I personally vote city 1 but I guess it depends quite how bad the cons for described for both cities are!

Well, the vote means nothing. I voted according to your first post, then you tell me something different in the second.

Vibrant city beats dull city every time, for me.

I don't know how to vote as the first post contracts the second
Option 2.
But then I hate cities of either size. Beach, better schools, holidays all swing it for me.

You ask where I would have preferred to have grown up and it would definitely have been 2 - holidays and a nice house, beaches , good schools and perhaps a bit more freedom. Option 2 all the way. I love cities and what they have to offer as an adult, but didn’t like them as a child: too dirty, busy, crowded.

Option 2, definitely.

I’d probably go for option 1. If your eldest is 3 I wouldn’t let secondary schools have a bearing on it - what’s a good school now might be in special measures by the time DC is old enough and vice versa.

So... London or Kent?! London!!

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