I’m going to give it a miss

[reebokbok]

I feel abit affronted with that response to me asking a group of friends if they wanted to meet up for dinner next week.

Am I being too sensitive.

Depends where you suggested.. Happy Meal at Maccy's or a nice place?

But realistically what else do you want someone to say? I don’t always want to give a reason for not wanting to do something, sometimes there isn’t any reason other than I just don’t want to. It’s not like they’ve replied with “omg as IF! Wouldn’t dare!” 90s style 😂. Would you rather someone lied and have a long rambly reason instead?!

The issue isn’t them not going. The issue is the response. I would at the very least have said thanks for asking me

I wouldn’t dwell on it unless they are normally this unenthusiastic. They’re probably just bogged down with work or whatever.

You sound like you are very keen on social niceties.

"Do you want to meet for dinner next week?" is a similar level of message (to me) as "how are you today?" I absolutely appreciate that some people would say "thanks for asking" but for me it doesn't need a thanks, you done nothing to warrant being thanked. It's perfectly fine just to answer the question.

If you'd said "I'm having a dinner party in 2 weeks time and I'd really like you to come", I'd expect a "thank for asking" type response.

I wouldn’t find this rude - I’d probably add a ‘this time’ to the end to make it clear that it’s just that particular event I’m not feeling, not that I don’t want to hang out at all.

Some people are just super-direct and don’t feel the need to explain.

Sorry, just saw this…why on earth would you need thanking?! You suggested an activity, an activity that you will also benefit from. Unless you offered to pay for it too (in which case, sure, a ‘thanks but no thanks’ would be in order).

Can’t say I’ve ever expected someone to thank me for inviting them to spend time with me though 😂

Of course you feel affronted, it's a rude response, but on mumsnet, as you know, "No is a complete sentence." so be thankful you received more than a one word answer. I wouldn't be asking them again.

Is this style of response the norm from them, or are they usually more polite?

I've had a hectic/stressful week and I've noticed that I'm a bit shorter in my messages than usual, maybe something similar going on?

Honestly these responses 🙄. I’d find it super rude , OP.
Aside from the pp who explained she says this because she unwell and doesn’t want to have to explain - that’s understandable. Otherwise ruddddee.

Abrupt and tactless. Some people have no idea.

It’s fine.
Its just a nice way of saying no.

MNers are always saying ‘no’ is a full sentence yet everyone seems to get offended if they don’t get an apology and full explanation.

Most people would say something like this.
Its not a negative thing.

It’s not a nice way of saying no though? A nice way of saying no would offer some meagre indication that you would have course like to see/ catch up with your friend/ that you do value the friendship , albeit you won’t be making this particular meet up.

I think it is a softer way of saying “no”, and I use the phrase myself but wouldn’t use it on its own. At the very least I’d add “but thanks anyway :)” or similar

But do you need to be reassured each time someone rejects a meet-up proposition that that person otherwise would be interested in seeing you and values time with you? Every time?

It's not about the op being reassured it's about her friends having manners!!!

You don't think this comment (not by OP) A nice way of saying no would offer some meagre indication that you would have course like to see/ catch up with your friend/ that you do value the friendship , albeit you won’t be making this particular meet up. is about wanting reassurance?

I agree with you OP, it was rude. Don’t know what all the other PPs are on about.

When's payday?
Suggest a date after that, they may be more likely to say yes 🤷

When a friend suggests meeting for a meal you honestly think that "I'll give it a miss. " is an appropriate response? Why would anyone bother asking again if they get brushed off like that? No wonder so many people on here struggle with friendships. Common manners cost nothing.

If it was an individual invitation, that would apply.

But this isn't. OP has (presumably) sent a message to a group chat. Her friend can't come/doesn't want to come on this occasion, but presumably others in the group might be interested.

I have a similar group chat with friends. If someone suggests a meet up, some people will say "yes", some people will say "no" and some people don't reply at all. Not a single person says "thanks for inviting me" which seems to be what what the OP is wanting, because it's a given that we're a group of friends and we invite each other to stuff.

And if people don't reply, or say "no" and don't offer up any particular reason, they are not excluded for ever more. We just assume that they are busy or don't fancy it but will probably come along next time because, you know, we're actually friends and like each other.

No, it's a LESS nice way of saying no! It's snide and flippant.

fair enough; I suppose it depends on the context. I suppose I’m thinking in the context I my current life/ friendships, where I have two small kids and don’t see my friends too often. If I went the trouble of organising something and asking people and they replied with “I’m going to give it a miss” and nothing further, I’d definitely find that dismissive and indicative of the fact that they weren’t interested in making an effort to see/ spend time with me. I suppose it’s different if is a group of friends who do things together all the time.

Is an unusual and blunt way to refuse an invitation alright. On the plus side at least you know you cam trust that person to be honest, rather than playing the polite game of fobbing you off with excuses, or attending and moaning behind your back. Which is worth something.

I think some explanation is generally required, even if it is vague. I think it is a bit impolite too.