AIBU that teacher asked my HF autistic son if he was planning a school shooting?

[dumdididum]

This happened last year and I only just found out. My son likes military strategy as well as history and current affairs. He and his friends often look at military stuff during break, and discuss current affairs in the evening when they play games together. he says that when he was alone she asked him to come to the wellbeing room where she asked if he was planning a shooting. I don't mind duty of care and all that, but think the way it was done is just very odd ie why wasn't I involved at all, and if they had a genuine concern why would anyone just come right out and say that to a child? My son was 15.

Oops should ready AIBU that I'm annoyed and shocked!!

That is quite outrageous, I suspect you weren't involved because the question is out of bounds.

What Is the exact phrase he is saying teacher used?

Well it was a year ago, so I wont take it word for word, but he quoted "you're not planning a school shooting are you?' She took issue that he was looking at bullets.

What? In the UK? If so that's an utterly bizarre thing to ask - where would he get hold of a gun for starters?

What do you mean 'looking a bullets' ?? What bullets, online?

Yes in UK. That's what I thought - how could he find a gun? Apparently she's left the school now so a bit late to go in and ask what happened. He's always been a goody goody who has never got into trouble.

Yes, during break in the library. He and his friends also like tanks and stuff like that.

In that case the teacher is batshit - WHERE on earth is a 15 year old going to get hold of a weapon for a school shooting?? There's a reason we don't have them, and it's not cos we don't have nutters here.

Sounds like a throw away jokey remark to me.

Apparently she's left the school now

Did she exhibit other batshit behaviour and was encouraged to leave?

I hardly think a 15 year old interested in the military is unusual - the army is full of young recruits who loved military and Call of Duty and all that. The Teacher doesn't sound very bright TBH - and the reason she probably spoke to him was because an adult would have told her to wise up.

After inviting a kid into the wellbeing room?

Perhaps him and his friend have been a bit over the top in the passion for warfare in their dicussions at school and something that triggered a concern was overheard and misunderstood and reported as a concern? However it is a weird way to address/ handle it and you should have been involved.

I am not sure what the relevance of his autism is?

That's nuts. If it was genuinely concerned surely she would talk to you?

A throw away jokey remark??... to a child with HF Autism?!?

I suppose if you lived in a farming community there's a chance that he may have been able to get access to a shotgun or hunting rifle, but even then she should have talked to safeguarding if she thought there was even the remote possibility of a kid bringing his mum/dad's shotgun to school.

I am not sure what the relevance of his autism is?

Because he is more likely to take the comment literally even if it was meant to be a joke, and he is more likely to have obsessive interests.

Some sort of weird teenage boy humour perhaps, I did wonder...

If she knew he had autism she would have known it was highly likely he had an area of special interest and it was highly likely that he would take any questioning extremely literal.

I'm not saying she should have made that kind of joke to an autistic student. I just think it's more likely to be an ill-judged joke than a serious enquiry as to his suspected homicidal intentions.

Oh. Sorry, skim read and missed that bit.

Why did he leave it a year to tell you? Was he bothered by the comment?

The autism is relevant - maybe she thought he was 'odd' on some way...

It was a joke. If you were in the US maybe not but in the UK it’s highly likely she was just making a joke.