Am I the only person who never opens their front door to anyone?

[jugglingjugs]

I just heard my front door go, so I hid in the kitchen out of sight, no idea who it was but I'm now very curious.
I wasn't expecting anyone, if it was family I would have answered because they wouldn't come unannounced.
I also never answer my phone if I don't recognise the number. Is this just me or does anyone else do this?
I have never really thought about why until now.

hiding is one thing, but deciding everyone is a dick head and you’re a very important person so only respond to similar, even though you don’t even know whose there is very unusual

People can choose to think and do what they want, when it comes to them deciding whether or not they want to open their front door or not. It's not the right of the person sending outside that the door should be opened for them. Nor is it the right of the person making a call, that that their call should be answered by the recipient.

I doubt thinking that cold callers are unwanted dick heads is unusual at all.

*standing outside

I always answer the door.

Christ how do some people cope?

That's odd because Amazon all across the UK don't give a fuck if you answer and will just chuck it on the doorstep or anywhere covered just to get it delivered?

Unless you get special treatment for some strange reason 😉

He's probably knocking for some water and a squirt of fairy liquid.

Get a ring doorbell OP. Save your stresses.

Can someone please explain why MN is a hot bed of people either terrified of their phones and door knockers, or totally affronted when anyone has the audacity to use either?

Please? Because I really do not get it.

I like how people think that those not answering their door are screaming and shaking about it.

No. We just don't answer the door and then crack on.

@tokka

what has Jill Dando's murder got to do with not opening your front door when you're home?

I check who it is and then I decide if they are worthy of my time. If they’re not, I don’t answer the door!

some folks lives must be so hard, I can’t even imagine this mind set. Deciding if someone is “worthy of my time” before answering rhe bloody door.

But…why? Why don’t you?

This is a common thing on here, in real life I think it’s very uncommon to not answer your door or phone, but there are a lot of extreme introverts it seems on here.
Not this again. Only on MN do I encounter so many people scared of their own doorbell.
Mumsnet is a fascinating insight into people’s neuroses.

I agree. Until I joined mumsnet I didn't know anyone who didn't answer the phone or the door.

I appreciate that if you live in a high crime area you wouldn't want to, but then you would install a Ring doorbell or similar, wouldn't you?

Clearly the posters who never answer private numbers don't have any health issues because all NHS numbers show up as private numbers, and they don't leave messages.

And for all the people mocking, ever heard of Jill Dando?

That is just one very extreme example. And she wasn't answering the door, but trying to get into her house.

@Trez1510 yours are very extreme circumstances. I think most replies relate to people who aren't suffering the way you are. I hope you are getting some support with this

I think knocking on your door without an invitation is really intrusive

That's a really weird way of thinking. Delivery people and postmen/women are being intrusive? Really?

From a security point of view, it's probably better to answer the door/talk to them (with the chain on or via a video doorbell) rather than let random people think your house is empty...

I agree.

I always answer the door because I am nosy, we don't get weirdos round here and it is usually a delivery or a neighbour (all of whom are lovely, and who don't spend ages talking on my doorstep)

We have a doorbell camera and I check who's at the door before answering. We get a lot of door-to-door salespeople and I'd rather not be interrupted from whatever I'm doing to spend 5 minutes politely telling someone to bugger off.

I take it you are generally quite a socially anxious person, with quite a lot on internal dialogue ‘mind reading’ what other people may be ‘negatively’ thinking about you?

I suggest you work on not caring what other people may think of you. And stop imagining what they might be.

I think there aren't all that many people who are terrified. Annoyed maybe, but again, no one is screaming and shaking and cowering in a corner about it.

Of course there are people who ARE scared for very valid reasons and people who are too busy to answer and get a lecture from a god botherer or cold caller. But MN can't think beyond their own little "middle class", "100K" earning, competitive anorexia, husbands secret hobby bubble and anyone not in that bubble is so weird and strange 😝

Why 🤣🤣🤣🤣 my husband is a window cleaner 🤣🤣🤣

It really is. It’s not normal behaviour to run and hide in the kitchen when somebody knocks on the door. I’m not ‘wailing’ about it, but I’m also not pretending it’s normal.

But delivery people are invited? And keep you updated so you know 9/10 exactly what time they are coming.

My stalker used to knock on my door almost every day and look in my windows. Some people have violent ex's turn up, crime on their doorstep. But honestly, some people just plain don't like being bothered because an unexpected knock is usually someone who you don't want to talk to.

It's really not that deep.

Unless I am expecting a parcel or a visitor I don’t open the door. I live in north London and there are people consistently knocking on the door for charity / trying to sell fish / other random shit. I haven’t got time for that, and would rather avoid consistent no thank yous.

Same with phone calls, if it’s a number I don’t know, I don’t answer. Most of the time it’s a scam call, if not they’ll leave a voicemail and I ring back.

In real life almost nobody does this. The people who do it are more likely to be spending time online, and more likely to answer your question, than the people who don’t. I had never even heard of anybody not answering the front door before MN (except in the sense of ‘hopefully if I don’t go someone else in the house will get it’).

Also, in real life, no it is not rude to knock on somebody’s front door. That’s literally what door knockers and doorbells are for🙄

Last person who knocked on my front door unexpectedly was a neighbour with leftover chocolate cake from his visiting grandchildren, that he thought our children would like 😊We frequently knock on neighbours’ doors on the way past to see if they want to come to the park with us, or to visit for a cup of tea on the way back from the park (one of those neighbours recently did the same to us: I was able to tell him it wasn’t a good time, because we’re both grownups). Really not a problem for anyone involved.

Also want to point out that people scouting often look for lone females or the elderly, not just empty houses.

Someone trying to sell me a cleaning cloth or push some religion, or even try and persuade me that I should vote for them at the next elections definitely isn't worthy of my time. Luckily for them there's lots of other people who are willing to engage. Which is just grand. 😁

I feel bad about chilling with a cuppa or relaxing on the sofa with my phone when the window cleaner is working. 😬

And nobody is running, hiding or screaming and crying. Simply sitting there not answering the door to someone they don't expect

Your behaviour is not typical at all, but suggests you need mental health support.

It's optional to answer your phone or your door, I don't answer my phone to unknown numbers and sometimes I don't answer when people I know ring: surely it's up to me when I want to talk to people.

I don't expect people to answer when I ring or message me straight back either.

Equally sometimes I open my door but sometimes if I am resting and I don't want to talk to anyone I ignore it. Even people I like! I thought this was fairly normal although now I'm doubting myself.

I'm a fairly average, socially skilled person with friends etc. I just value quiet time and not being disturbed!