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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be this upset about a school place

238 replies

cdoth · 17/04/2023 01:20

Been in tears since I found out my DS didn't get offered a place at the school I applied for.

For background - he has significant speech delay and is on the pathway for an autism diagnosis. He is currently at the nursery of the school we put as our first choice, he is really settled there and they have been fantastic with regards to his SEN. They are helping us to gather as much evidence as possible for his EHCP. The school is also the closest one to us.

I am distraught with worry for what the future holds for him now having to go to a completely new school. I can't stop crying because this seems so unfair for him. He is not good with new places/people, when he started his current nursery last year it took weeks for him to settle in because he was so upset. And for him to have to go through that again genuinely breaks my heart.

I know we can appeal but I don't feel hopeful. Has anybody else been in the same situation? I just don't know where to go from here now.

OP posts:
Temporaryname158 · 17/04/2023 01:22
  1. you can appeal in the basis of the EHCP being developed
  2. you can immediately put him on the waiting list for the school you want. Not everyone offered a place there will accept it
Original poster
cdoth · 17/04/2023 01:25

@Temporaryname158 Thanks for replying. I'm still in shock really that he didn't get his first place. I did put all of the additional information on his application as well so I don't know why it doesn't seem to have been considered whatsoever. That's good to know about the EHCP, I hope they will take it into account at appeal Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
cdoth · 17/04/2023 01:29

I don't think I can go through it again taking him somewhere new and seeing him so distressed and upset 😢

OP posts:
Original poster
cdoth · 17/04/2023 01:34

Thank you @Purplepepsi x

OP posts:
MsJuniper · 17/04/2023 01:35

It's worth appealing based on EHCP. But also worth noting that there is often movement on waiting lists. If you accept the school offered you will stay on the waiting list for your 1st choice and you can check with the office about likelihood.

Original poster
cdoth · 17/04/2023 01:38

@MsJuniper I'm definitely going to appeal and will fight as much as I possibly can 💔 just gutted it's come to this

OP posts:
Saracen · 17/04/2023 02:09

If you hope to get your son in to your preferred school via the waiting list, you might consider deferring his start in Reception and keeping him at the fantastic nursery in the meantime. Depending on his birthday, you should be able to keep him at nursery for an extra term or two. That would mean fewer changes for him.

I think it is common for Reception places to become available several weeks into the school year. Some families will have moved away or made other arrangements without having told the school, and it's only when the children don't turn up in September that this becomes known and the places can be offered to kids on the waiting list.

Original poster
cdoth · 17/04/2023 07:47

@Saracen Deferring is a good idea, he was born in April 2019. Could he stay another year?

OP posts:
The3Ls · 17/04/2023 07:53

If born after march 31st he can stay in nursery a full year more. Not a bad plan in my professional experience as gives more time to sort ehcp and means he starts reception year with one in place

Lougle · 17/04/2023 07:56

@cdoth it's a bit of a myth that adding extra information will help. The admissions code says that parents must be able to express a preference and give reasons for that preference. However, unless the school has an exceptional medical need category (and you'd normally have to provide a letter from a health professional stating that, in their professional opinion, this is the only school that can meet your child's needs) then it won't have any impact on your application.

LIZS · 17/04/2023 08:03

Extra information is only relevant if there is a priority category it applies to . Without a ehcp your application will be treated alongside others in same category. Your letter should explain which category it was placed in and why it was rejected ie. Distance. Unfortunately an appeal will only succeed if an error was made.

Original poster
cdoth · 17/04/2023 08:06

@LIZS Really? So they don't actually consider what is in the best interests of the child? This is the closest school to us so the distance thing makes no sense either. It all seems so unfair

OP posts:
FunkyMonks · 17/04/2023 08:22

Defiantly appeal you can highlight your concerns with him not being able to attend.

Do you have anyone involved with your Son like speech and language,etc.

I know how you feel Op my son was diagnosed at 4 having Autism. We did have a shaky start with his school at the very beginning at nursery he couldn't attend for over a month was finally allowed to
Return with help put in place but for a good year it was like a rollercoaster of ups and downs.
It's better now still have the odd issue as I won't sugar coat it can be difficult and I don't blame the school they are trying their best it's more the local
Authority and lack of funding that annoys me.

My son also had speech delay and honestly I think being in mainstream school helped bring his speech on in leaps and bounds there is a massive difference now from when he was 4 to now 6.

Whilst I know he's still no where near the level of his peers he's doing brilliant and hitting his own targets.

RonObvious · 17/04/2023 08:28

We didn't get our first choice place for our eldest, but moved to the top of the waiting list just in time (literally - like the week before school started!). I don't know if it made a difference or not, but I phoned a few times over the summer to find out where in the list we were. I think we started at about 10th on the list, so there definitely can be a fair amount of movement. I really feel for you - I was completely distraught when we didn't get our place initially (and for fairly similar reasons). It's such a stressful time.

PuttingDownRoots · 17/04/2023 08:33

If you didn't get in on distance make sure the distance makes sense. Its rare but not unheard of for a address to be measured wrong.

Sometimes what seems obvious to us as humans isn't the same as an unbiased computer. They can't have subjectivity in the process to make it equally fair to everyone.

Original poster
cdoth · 17/04/2023 08:37

@FunkyMonks Yes, so many people involved with him. SALT, paediatrician, educational psychologist, he also has funding for a 1:1 a few afternoons a week in his currently nursery. I'm just speechless that it doesn't seem to count for anything and we will have to fight so much for him to stay where he is

OP posts:
LIZS · 17/04/2023 08:41

So why no ehcp? For one to one to continue he needs one.

FunkyMonks · 17/04/2023 08:58

@cdoth I would get in touch with everyone involved in his case then to help turn the decision.

I can't understand why they have done that then if there was already help in place for him. Defiantly appeal it.

Ilovecaviar · 17/04/2023 09:00

Definitely get him on the school waiting list. There is hope! But he needs to be on the list.

QuickNameChangeForMeToday · 17/04/2023 09:04

You can apply to defer given he was born after April 1st 2019.

suitcaseofdreams · 17/04/2023 09:04

I would suggest accepting the place you've been offered for now and check you are on the waiting list for preferred school and any other schools you would be happy with.

Then check the admissions criteria for preferred school, check which admissions category you are in and that it's the correct one. If it's distance based ask LA for furthest distance offered and check against your distance (and that your distance is correct). If there is any indication of an error in the admissions process, appeal on that basis asap. Is the school 30 kids per class in infants? If so, you can only really win an appeal if you can show a mistake has been made in the admissions process. (unless there is a 'special circumstances' type admissions criteria I'm afraid they won't have paid any attention to your additional info on the application form - all places are allocated strictly according to the published admissions criteria)

If you have an EHCP which names that school then the school must admit him so your next step is to get the EHCP sorted asap. You say pre school are 'gathering evidence' - from what you've posted here there is sufficient evidence already for a needs assessment so I would make a parental request asap - IPSEA website has guidance and template letter for this. I cannot emphasise enough how important it is not to wait for pre school on this - they have to jump through various hoops set by the LA but the only legal criteria to assess for an EHCP are that the child may have SEN which may require support via an EHCP and your child meets those criteria already.

If he's not 5 until next April then he doesn't need to start school until the summer term so you have some time to get the EHCP sorted. You could consider a spring/summer start in Reception (when EHCP sorted) or look into delayed entry and start Reception next September - you may be a bit late to sort this out now though as that's usually done when you apply for initial Reception place so you may need to talk to the LA about this.

I'd say your top priority right now though is getting that EHCP in progress as that's your best chance of getting the school you want and the support he needs in school.

Lougle · 17/04/2023 09:04

cdoth · 17/04/2023 08:06

@LIZS Really? So they don't actually consider what is in the best interests of the child? This is the closest school to us so the distance thing makes no sense either. It all seems so unfair

Check with the LA what the furthest distance they offered was. However, if a school has 30 places and 40 children for whom it is the closest school, then 10 children won't get a place even though it is their closest school.

Rosula · 17/04/2023 09:15

For an infant class appeal, you can basically only succeed if you can show there has been some sort of mistake with the admissions process. Unfortunately the fact that you are planning to apply for an EHCP won't help.

Really, you need to get on and get that EHCP application in. The process is likely to take at at least 20 weeks, so you are probably better off deferring the school place unless you can get it via the waiting list. If necessary, you can do the application yourself rather than waiting for the nursery. At this stage, all you need to show is that your child has or may have SEN, and he may need support through an EHCP. That then triggers the duty to assess. It sounds as if your child will easily fit both criteria.

Inthedarkagain · 17/04/2023 09:31

Following with interest. I find out today and in the process of waiting for a decision on an EHCP assessment and 1-2-1 nursery support. My child has severe speech delay and obviously under sensitive sensory issues, but no formal diagnosis from an Ed psych yet. I think he has possible ADHD and global development delay too. We can't delay reception as my son's birthday is at the end of March and we can't continue to pay nursery fees anyway, so we can only hope he gets in the school.

I hope you manage to get a place OP. I'm surprised it got rejected. Its hard enough raising a child with SEN without all this happening too.