Was my OH rude or am I being too sensitive?

[MissisK]

My OH normally cooks. He’s so fussy with food and after several failed attempts to cook for him early in our relationship, I just let him cook. I don’t really enjoy cooking so not something I miss. I do cook for me and the kids sometimes and happy to cook if needed.

He has an injury and not feeling great so I cooked tonight. The rice was a bit sticky to be honest. He took one look at the meal, looked disgusted and said ‘that’s disgusting’. Then went upstairs leaving the food on the side. The kids said it was nice!

AIBU about his reaction or am I being over sensitive to think this was really rude? I’m feeling a bit fed up with him being rude and intolerant to me. This just finished me off today.

If it’s just about the rice then you’re being massively over sensitive IMO but if it’s indicative of a wider problem then that’s different.

What?

Even if this was just about the rice this is fucking disgusting behaviour, monumentally rude and totally unnecessary.

Eat the curry and leave the rice if its that awful - how bad can slightly over done rice actually be, particularly mixed into a curry? If it really is inedible just say 'sorry, I don't seem to be hungry' and take plate to the kitchen.

Anyone telling me a meal id made was 'disgusting' would never have a meal cooked for them by me again and (depending on tone of voice and others present) could find themselves wearing it!

Could he be autistic? I understand that can go along with saying inappropriate things, without necessarily intending any malice, and being a very fussy eater to the point where it's impossible to eat something if the texture is a bit 'wrong'.
If not then could he be an abusive person?
It sounds really stressful for you. Not at all fair.

Rice is tricky, I am terrible at cooking rice but my DH has never been so horrifically rude about it although we have joked about it. I actually quite like overdone rice! Your OH sounds awful and I wouldn't cook for him again.

I'm a poor cook but my husband never complains and likewise when he messes up eg over cooked something including rice I wouldn't say. Your OP should respect the effort you have made, eat it and then mention later if he really has to that it was possibly a bit this or that.

Rice isn't tricky once you have mastered it.

I measure by volume 1 part basmati rice to 1.75 parts water. Simmer for 15 minutes with the lid on then leave to steam for another 5 minutes. Do not remove the lid.

This has worked for me for over 30 years.

@AppallinglyReheated DH does (most of) our cooking and if it’s not nice I’ll tell him. I once ordered pizza at the table after he served up what was apparently some sort of pie, it was NOT good.

That's how I was taught - leaving it in the pan allowed the remaining water to be soaked up. Fluff the rice and away you go!!

It’s called manners. When someone cooks for you, you say thank you. End of.
being ‘picky’ as an adult is him indulging himself.
He sounds like a rude, self indulgent selfish man. Not a good role model.

The only thing "disgusting" is his attitude.

The correct response when someone has cooked for you is always 'thank you'. He didnt have to eat it, he behaved appallingly, especially in front of the children.

He's a rude twat, and you are entirely within your rights to stop cooking for him. You would also be right to tear an absolute strip off him for being so bloody disrespectful and rude to you in front of the kids. Pathetic bell-end.

Do you really want his malevolent vitriolic presence in your life forever? Really? He sounds fucking horrible to you.

I’d want to dump his food in/on something of his. In his golf club bag, laptop bag, sock drawer, driver’s seat… you get the idea.

He’s horrible, so nasty. Does he have any good points that make you want to stay married to him?

He could starve after that remark imo. Cook enough portions for yourself the DC let him sort himself out with food.

If you yourself can admit that the rice was overcooked and sticky, what outcome would you have liked?

I think it was slightly rude of him to just say ‘that’s disgusting’ and leave the plate there but what was he meant to do? Eat the overcooked rice just for the sake of it? I’m genuinely wondering what he should have done/said if you knew the rice wasn’t great anyway

It’s fine not to eat the food, but he absolutely should have worded it better and said thank you anyway. He was rude. It seems he’s not very nice about other things either.

So why do you put up with him behaving like that towards you?

Why walk on eggshells all the time?

Not really the point is it. He was an arse!

I have absolutely no problem with him disliking the rice. Or not eating it. What I do have a problem with is his rudeness and stomping upstairs because if it. There are ways to say things and ways to behave that are respectful and kind. Scoffing and rudely saying it’s disgusting was neither respectful or kind in my mind.

Is the problem really about his reaction to the sticky rice? Isn't it more that his unpredictability is keeping you on edge all the time? No one can happily live like that so I doubt you're living happily either.

Dick.

@BlackBarbies surely you eat the curry, maybe a bit of the rice stirred in and say "thanks for cooking" and that's it?
I dunno, I was brought up that you politely eat what people cook for you and say thank you
It's over cooked rice, not poison

Yes he was @MavisBeacon1234.
I was responding to the posters who said that rice is tricky to cook. It isn't.

I posted upthread that he was a big baby.