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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with my manager?

33 replies

dejags · 15/02/2008 10:01

DS2 was sick yesterday - he woke up at 5am vomiting and feverish (I took him to the GP and he has tonsillitus and has been prescribed antibiotics).

We had an important meeting scheduled with a new client at 12pm yesterday. Obviously DS2 couldn't go to nursery so I told my manager that I would have to stay at home with him. He was ok with it as I had done all the preparation for the meeting and all he had to do was present my document.

All fine you'd think.

When I received the minutes last night, my manager put in writing that I did not attend the meeting due to my child being hospitalised???

I absolutely loathe using illness as an excuse - am I being unreasonable to feel irritable that he exaggerated DS's illness to look better?

When I meet the client next I am going to have to lie about it.

OP posts:
branflake81 · 15/02/2008 10:05

YABU.

Carmenere · 15/02/2008 10:07

YABU, why is this annoying you?

BrownSuga · 15/02/2008 10:09

Seems a little odd he'd put a reason. If he wasn't there, would you put, Mr Manager didn't attend he's playing golf? Normally minutes would just show present vs absent.

LilRedWG · 15/02/2008 10:09

Don't lie, just say, "Oh he's fine now, it was tonsillitus."

I agree that your boss shouldn't have exagerated the situation, but maybe he was feeling under pressure.

LilRedWG · 15/02/2008 10:10

Re: "loathe using illness as an excuse". I don't think he did use it as an excuse (and neither did you), it was a valid reason!

LilRedWG · 15/02/2008 10:10

Hope DS2 is feeling better soon.

Sexonlegs · 15/02/2008 10:11

How odd.

Normally is it just apologies from such and such - no excuses/reasons required.

Original poster
dejags · 15/02/2008 10:11

I am annoyed because he told my client that my child was in hospital which is a total lie. He was there because it was a joint meeting.

I have two issues:

  1. I was raised to think that lieing about illness as an excuse is a crap thing to do and tempts fate
  1. I will have to lie to my client when I see them next - they will invariably ask why my DS was hospitalised. What should I say?
OP posts:
OrmIrian · 15/02/2008 10:13

I suspect he was trying to make both of you look better. He wanted to ensure that everyone understood that you hadn't taken time off without a good reason. A child having tonsilitis is a good reason, but if the client was a childless man in his 30s for example, he might not have understood that.

I wouldn't be annoyed. I'd be pleased that he was standing up for you in his way. Just say that he's OK now.

Carmenere · 15/02/2008 10:14

Did you tell him that ds had tonsilitis? If so he may have assumed that that was a hospital situation.
He may well have said that you weren't there because your ds was in hospital because he was trying to emphasise to the client that you wouldn't miss the meeting for a trivial excuse. you certainly don't have to lie to your client.

Original poster
dejags · 15/02/2008 10:18

I hadn't told my manager what was wrong with DS. At no time did I say that it was a hospital situation, just that he wasn't fit for nursery and I couldn't make the meeting.

I don't think he was looking after my interests at all. He was trying to cover himself and lied to do it.

I am surprised at how many people think it's ok to lie about a child being in hospital. I'd never dream of lieing to a client about one of my employees.

Maybe I am strange

OP posts:
dilbertina · 15/02/2008 10:18

To be honest, if you have a boss who sounds absolutely reasonable when you unavoidably can't come in to work...consider yourself fortunate!

He's told a lie, but actually it was to make YOU look better. And whilst you may "loathe using illness as an excuse" you were not at meeting BECAUSE of your son's illness. He thought "hospitalised son" was a better excuse for you than "baby dejags couldn't go to nursery cos he's got tonsilitis".

To be honest he could have just left it at "Dejags unavoidably unable to be here"

But overall a reasonable, understanding boss, albeit prone to exageration, is still worth weight in gold IMO! YABU.

Original poster
dejags · 15/02/2008 10:23

Dilbertina - if your manager lied to your client about your child being hospital would you be ok with that?

I just wouldn't lie to a client - he didn't need to say anything, he could have just given apologies.

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 15/02/2008 10:25

I'm with OrmIrian

YABU

Cappuccino · 15/02/2008 10:25

I'm with OrmIrian

YABU

Cappuccino · 15/02/2008 10:25

I'm obviously very with OrmIrian

dilbertina · 15/02/2008 10:41

Oh I do agree it was unnecessary. Why is he "covering himself"? he WAS at meeting. I would rather my boss hadn't said something like that unecessarily - BUT I would focus on the fact that he had been fine with me being unable to make meeting!

If you feel the need to clarify to clients I would say "Sorry I was unable to make last meeting, DS was ill but not in fact hospitalised, Bossman must have got hold of wrong end of stick".

You could say to him you feel uncomfortable with being put in that position with clients if you think it may re-occur!

soopermum1 · 15/02/2008 10:49

YABU, it was a white lie, get over it

flowerybeanbag · 15/02/2008 10:52

YABU, he was understanding about you not being able to come in, and probably feels under pressure when it comes to dealing with the clients. If you feel that strongly, do what dilbertina said 10:41:38. But I think actually you're fairly lucky that you can take time off for this type of emergency with no hassle.

MotherFunk · 15/02/2008 10:58

Message withdrawn

HonoriaGlossop · 15/02/2008 11:05

Very unprofessional to put a reason for your non-attendance in the minutes

unecessary and unprofessional

Just needs to be recorded who was there and who sent apologies

YANBU to be annoyed

ShinyDysonHereICome · 15/02/2008 11:08

YANBU in my honest opinion!

I would be fuming

MotherFunk · 15/02/2008 11:14

Message withdrawn

Chequers · 15/02/2008 11:16

Message withdrawn

Chequers · 15/02/2008 11:17

Message withdrawn