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Original poster

Family coming to stay, how to organise food?

96 replies

Sunnydayimindoors · 15/04/2023 15:57

Family are coming to stay at our house for a fortnight 🙈What would be the right thing to do about food? Do I get a big food shop in for the two weeks got everyone? A bit worried about the added costs. What do you do if people come to stay for a fair while or you stay at theirs?

OP posts:
PollyThePixie · 15/04/2023 17:17

Op, 2 people aren’t going to add much to your food bill. Just carry on as you normally do but add a bit extra to your shopping and you’ll find it will all work out on its own. if your husband is happy his mum and dad are coming to stay try not to put a downer on it from now.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2023 17:21

If they've regularly hosted you for 3-5 days and covered most of the food with you buying a couple of takeaways, then I would expect the same in reverse this time.

Buy enough for breakfast, and get them some bits in so they can make themselves lunch if they want, you can then organise dinners/weekends between you. Presumably if you're both working they may also choose to go out for lunch?

RampantIvy · 15/04/2023 17:22

A fortnight is an awfully long time to impose on someone. Why couldn't you have suggested 4 or 5 days instead when they said it would be a fortnight?

BeeHappy12 · 15/04/2023 17:24

I should add that i made very economical meals, mainly vegetarian, pasta's, curries, soup and the night i did make fish, that's when you see the cost rising.

bellac11 · 15/04/2023 17:26

Sunnydayimindoors · 15/04/2023 17:04

@bellac11 What do you mean?

Just bulk out meals with lots of veg, pulses, lentils etc. They fill people up, cook long and slow and are cheap.

Doingmybest12 · 15/04/2023 17:28

You just feed them don't you unless you are skint in which case get their son to talk to themabout it.

EmilyGilmoresSass · 15/04/2023 17:30

If I invited myself to stay with family for a week I'd be offering to chip in, if not buy my own shopping whether they offered or nor and I'd have mentioned it when inviting myself!

redbigbananafeet · 15/04/2023 17:32

Why is this taking up your headspace when it's your husbands parents?

Hedwigharlot · 15/04/2023 17:41

I'd expect them to contribute about 200 pounds if they're staying a full two weeks.

Bunnichick · 15/04/2023 17:45

Hedwigharlot · 15/04/2023 17:41

I'd expect them to contribute about 200 pounds if they're staying a full two weeks.

Your charge your parents to stay with you?

I don't think OP has paid to stay there

TempNCforthis · 15/04/2023 17:46

I wouldn't buy everything in one go. They should offer to pay for some food and the problem with getting enough treats for two weeks is that they will go in far less time than that.

Original poster
Sunnydayimindoors · 15/04/2023 17:50

@bellac11 No sorry, I meant the food being the last thing on your mind

OP posts:
bellac11 · 15/04/2023 17:52

Sunnydayimindoors · 15/04/2023 17:50

@bellac11 No sorry, I meant the food being the last thing on your mind

Oh, well I would feel a bit stressed about people staying that long, being under my feet, cant have a good fart in my own living room for days on end, that sort of thing

But thats me.

Nismet · 15/04/2023 18:00

Me too @bellac11

OP yes I think you should try to just cover the costs and hope they do the odd takeaway or whatever. The 3-5days of 3 of you have probably added up if you've been several times.

Just don't go too elaborate with the cooking - 2 weeks is a long time and you don't want to spend it all in the kitchen. Also make sure your DH does his fair share of the whole shebang - shopping, cooking, clearing up, entertaining.

NetZeroZealot · 15/04/2023 18:03

Hedwigharlot · 15/04/2023 17:41

I'd expect them to contribute about 200 pounds if they're staying a full two weeks.

That would feel incredibly inhospitable!

I'd expect them to arrive with some nice wine and foodie gifts, to pitch in with the cooking and offer to take you out a couple of times or maybe pay for a takeaway.

MeridianB · 15/04/2023 18:04

Wow. Why are they coming for two weeks? Do they live abroad?

I did this once for MIL. She came ‘to help’ when I was on mat leave (and did nothing, not even making her own coffee and taking the dirty cup to the kitchen after, but that’s another story). I planned and cooked 14 dinners and suggested she make/buy her own lunches.

Good luck!

Bearpawk · 15/04/2023 18:05

2 extra adults is very manageable imo.
I'd meal plan and do things you can portion up like lasagne, mousakka, curry, beef hotpot, chicken stew, chilli etc. all bulked out with lentils and veg to keep costs down.
Get some porridge/ bread in for breakfasts.
I'd send them to the shop to get stuff for lunches!

Justkeepsmilingx · 15/04/2023 18:07

I live away from family in a seaside location so have family for a week or more at a time five or six times a year. Not sure if it helps you but I make a list of meals for the time there are here - eg. Spag Bol, sausage & mash, curry, pasta bake, jacket spuds etc and don’t stick to set days but the the food for all the meals and each night decide what I am doing tomorrow. On days when I work til tea time I will say to them if you are in first it’s…. Sausage mash and beans tonight so if you want to sort the spuds and put it on (about ten mins before I am home) at a certain time then I will finish it and sort bread and things when in. That usually works well. I am lucky in that my family all muck in. For lunches I just make sure we have cheese and cooked meat in and yoghurts with plenty of fruit l. Boxed cereal and bread for toast and jam for breakfast.
you could always say…. I’ve got cereal and bread / jam in such a place so you can get what you want for breakfast.
Try to just bulk out the meals you’d usually have - but choose the cheaper ones as catering for more people.
Try not to stress - they can eat out in the day if they aren’t happy !

Justkeepsmilingx · 15/04/2023 18:08

Should say buy the food !

mackthepony · 15/04/2023 18:09

Have they offered to cook???

In my opinion you're gonna end up run ragged..

You work part time, so will be default general cook and bottle washer

Hayliebells · 15/04/2023 18:32

Presumably they're going to be preparing some meals too, I'd just get them to shop and pay for the meals that they cook. Your DH will need to have a word with them about that before they arrive though, so they know what to expect. Completely not the point of the thread, but I'm curious, did your OH ask you if his parents could stay that long? If he did, and you said yes, why did you do that? You don't like people staying, you will be miserable. Fair enough if you love hosting, but you don't. If he didn't even ask, well, I'd be hopping mad if my DH did that. I'd probably make him pay for an Air BnB for me to stay in if he refused to have a word with his parents and put a stop to this nonsense!

Hayliebells · 15/04/2023 18:36

redbigbananafeet · 15/04/2023 17:32

Why is this taking up your headspace when it's your husbands parents?

This. With bells on.

FrodisCapering · 15/04/2023 18:37

We provide everything when in laws come to stay from abroad. They provide everything when we go there...well we buy some wine/beer but that's about it. Not a problem.

Havehope21 · 15/04/2023 18:43

2 weeks is a long time - especially if they practically invited themselves. However, as hosts, I would prepare to cater for them (as we have when we have had people for 4-5 days). I would expect them to take you out for supper on several evenings and offer to pay for 'treats' / 'days out' whilst they are over in return for your hospitality.

Bellaboo01 · 15/04/2023 18:45

I'd ask for nothing as they are guests. They are your husbands parents so it would feel weird to me to ask for money. They'll probably pitch in/ order food etc whilst they are with you.
Enjoy your time with them