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AIBU?

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Original poster

Family coming to stay, how to organise food?

96 replies

Sunnydayimindoors · 15/04/2023 15:57

Family are coming to stay at our house for a fortnight 🙈What would be the right thing to do about food? Do I get a big food shop in for the two weeks got everyone? A bit worried about the added costs. What do you do if people come to stay for a fair while or you stay at theirs?

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 15/04/2023 16:19

For 2 people I’d just double up on the weekly shop essentials and Chuck in a few extra nice things, breakfast croissants and jams if you don’t usually have them, more bacon for bacon rolls if they’d eat them, and then just make your usual dinners but bigger.
It’s only 2 more people, will they be doing things during the days? Do you or dh work? Or are you both around to spend time with them in the daytime?

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2023 16:20

Why are they staying for 2 weeks if a) that’s not how it usually is and b) you don’t like houseguests?

No one likes houseguests for 2 weeks. No one!

AgnesX · 15/04/2023 16:22

Sunnydayimindoors · 15/04/2023 16:06

My parents in law, so two extra people, staying in the spare bedroom. Not exactly invited but said they’d like to come and see us

Make it clear, right from the start, what you're going to do, what your routine and what what's expected of them. In a nice way of course.

Jagoda · 15/04/2023 16:22

Why are they staying in your house for two weeks? I would go insane.

Is DH taking two weeks off to entertain them?

Caspianberg · 15/04/2023 16:22

We are abroad, so have people
for 10-14 days fairly regularly. We do usually just cover the majority of the hosting cost as they have just flown over. But usually I do a bigger shop of basics to last first few days and then ask what they fancy for dinner etc. Often people will then pick up groceries for a dinner together or will ask if anything is needed and they will pick up bread, fruit, etc.. and then they usually pay for a Meal or two out for everyone

TheKobayashiMaru · 15/04/2023 16:23

So your DH needs to have a conversation with them about food. Do they expect you to provide, will they buy their own, will they expect you to provide but they'll pay for a few meals out and takeaways etc. Get out in front of it.

mischlerischler · 15/04/2023 16:26

We have guests staying at ours quite often and always double our usual food shop to cover breakfast / lunches / snacks. Everyone who stays always offers to chip in by getting take outs or paying for a dinner out.

They are probably expecting you do the same for them as they do for you when you stay over.

BonnieEye · 15/04/2023 16:32

I’d make it clear at the start what the general plan is (when you have one!) but I’d say

  • you show them where the breakfast things are and everyone helps themselves.
  • in evenings I’d say what you are making, just increase the volume of meals you normally eat, no variations and just serve up a portion.
  • make sure it is clear whoever cooked gets out of cleaning up afterwards
we’ve just had 5 days of 10 people and it was chaos if clearing up not done straight away
Jibo · 15/04/2023 16:42

Sunnydayimindoors · 15/04/2023 16:06

My parents in law, so two extra people, staying in the spare bedroom. Not exactly invited but said they’d like to come and see us

Just two people, presumably at least in their fifties? Really not a big deal. Just buy extra food and feed them. If you genuinely can't afford this, you'd better let them know they either need to buy their own food or not come.

If you want to eat cheaply, go veggie or nearly veggie for two weeks, and make lots of big stews, rice dishes, pasta etc.

glittereyelash · 15/04/2023 16:48

Just do a meal plan easy and cheap dinners. Do you have Instagram? Meals by mitch has some really good recipes.

StillTryingtoBuy · 15/04/2023 16:52

I suppose you’ve stayed with them a few times for 3-5 days? I would expect you to cover the extra food for day to day but would expect they would cover a couple of take aways / meals out or maybe shop and cook for some meals depending on what suits your lifestyle / dietary needs best? Assuming you can afford it - if it’s putting too much pressure on your budget you would need to speak to them about a contribution but the time for that was probavy
when the trip was arranged.

bellac11 · 15/04/2023 16:57

So breakfasts can be cereal or toast, they could manage their own lunches and then evening meal just make sure theres tons of veg and potatoes as thats the cheapest part of the meal,, do a lot of one pan bakes or slow cooker stuff so its not too onerous. And takeaways and a couple of meals out.

I think the food would be the least of my worries to be honest

IHateFlies · 15/04/2023 16:57

I'd plan some meals, do a big food shop, budget for a meal out.
Hopefully they'll offer to contribute but don't expect it.

Bunnichick · 15/04/2023 17:01

If it's just two people I would say do what you usually do but make extra so they can eat what you eat.

I'd maybe make sure there's bread, milk, cereal and cheese etc for sandwiches so they can have tea, coffee, cereal, toast, sandwiches

Bunnichick · 15/04/2023 17:02

I agree 2 weeks is a long time though!

do you and your DH work? What do you plan to do with them or what do they plan to do for 2 weeks?

declutteringmymind · 15/04/2023 17:03

Make some stuff and freeze it. Large lasagnes, chillis etc. then if it doesn't get used you still have it for yourselves. I'd get one big shop in and get the second accordingly.

Original poster
Sunnydayimindoors · 15/04/2023 17:04

@bellac11 What do you mean?

OP posts:
gogohmm · 15/04/2023 17:04

I would get in food for the first 3 or 4 days evening meals plus sufficient breakfast and lunch things for a few days and play it by ear. They may offer to cook, buy groceries or take you out. Stick to economical meals

Original poster
Sunnydayimindoors · 15/04/2023 17:05

Dh works every weekday, I work part time

OP posts:
bussteward · 15/04/2023 17:06

Why is this your problem and not DH’s? He should have the conversation, make the meal plan, batch cook the giant lasagne, find the takeaway menu, make a “my parents are here for two weeks, we need a plan to stay sane” plan, do the food shop.

Xmasbaby11 · 15/04/2023 17:09

I would just cook as normal, I guess making twice as much, and resist the temptation to make special meals every night, as it will get expensive.

I would expect them to offer some cash towards food and/or treat everyone to takeaway or a meal out.

The difficulty comes if they have very different tastes in food and you have to make drastic changes to what you'd normally make.

AlisonDonut · 15/04/2023 17:11

If they are your in laws isn't this your husband's problem to solve? Presumably he will ask them what food they want, go get it and arrange half the meals?

BeeHappy12 · 15/04/2023 17:11

I recently had my in laws stay for 2 weeks from abroad and the food costs for 2 extra people wasn't too significant. My in-laws were out of the house a lot during the day and so would sort there own lunches and myself and DH made the majority of meals but the in laws paid when we went out for dinner or lunch together and they cooked once during there stay. I didn't do anything special for breakfasts, they had tea/coffee and ate toast and fruit. They would pick up fruit and other bits while they were out during the day and bring it back to the house.

They bought all the ingredients and cooked one night while DH and I went out which was wonderful.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 15/04/2023 17:13

Surely you just do what you normally do. Just buy slightly more?

DowntownKingston · 15/04/2023 17:15

They don’t, if they did I’d move out.