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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being a CF?

57 replies

Sassypants82 · 15/04/2023 10:19

I'm sat in a soft play centre while my daughter attends her friend's party. They're 6. As I've no other childcare for my 3 Yr old this morning, I have her here too.

I am sitting separately to the other parents at the 'party' area, I paid in for my 3yr old and said I'd be keeping her with me. She is playing with her sister though, or trying to keep up with them and has wandered over to the party table a bit.

The party guests will be taken to a separate room for food later and she will obviously not join them.

While I have done my best in the circumstances, but if you were the 'party parents', would you consider me a CF for bringing my other kid?

OP posts:
Merangutan · 15/04/2023 10:20

No. She’s paid for, kept separately and not eating the food. What would be cheeky about any of that?

fuckitfuckitall · 15/04/2023 10:20

No absolutely not. You've paid for her. Most kids parties we go to, have this. If I were the host I'd make sure she got a piece of cake but not everyone would

JazzHandsYeah · 15/04/2023 10:23

Not in the slightest.

honeylulu · 15/04/2023 10:23

No that is fine!

Original poster
Sassypants82 · 15/04/2023 10:25

Thanks. I thought it was reasonable enough but when my younger one went over to the table, I just wondered if the hosts might have a different perspective.

OP posts:
GeneHuntsCowboyBoots · 15/04/2023 10:25

No, definitely not a CF. What is being a CF is bringing a sibling into the party room and sitting them down at the food table without being asked when they hadn’t been catered for - as happened at my DS’s party once!

I think it’s the norm to do what you are doing. Most parents understand there’ll often be siblings around.

Original poster
Sassypants82 · 15/04/2023 10:28

Thanks - we hosted at home last week for my older child, with entertainment etc and had a couple of tag on siblings.. Luckily I prepared a few extra party bags 🙄

OP posts:
Isthisexpected · 15/04/2023 10:30

As long as you keep her away from the party group and their things that's fine.

Daffodil92 · 15/04/2023 10:30

No, not cheeky at all. If I were you I’d have probably mentioned it to the host before hand just to head off any CF suspicions at the pass 😆

JMSA · 15/04/2023 10:30

You're fine OP, so don't worry Smile

GeneHuntsCowboyBoots · 15/04/2023 10:33

Daffodil92 · 15/04/2023 10:30

No, not cheeky at all. If I were you I’d have probably mentioned it to the host before hand just to head off any CF suspicions at the pass 😆

That’s what I used to do. Now and then the extra sibling was invited to join if it was a situation where it was possible but I’d never have expected it.

Original poster
Sassypants82 · 15/04/2023 10:36

GeneHuntsCowboyBoots · 15/04/2023 10:33

That’s what I used to do. Now and then the extra sibling was invited to join if it was a situation where it was possible but I’d never have expected it.

Show quote history

Yes, I'm sorry I didn't think to do this!

OP posts:
Nowfeeltheneedtopost · 15/04/2023 10:37

I don’t think you’re a CF but I do think it’s a shame for your 6yr old that she can’t enjoy her friend’s party without her 3yr old sibling ( however close they may be) following her around. I appreciate there is no easy answer if you had to stay at the party.

Original poster
Sassypants82 · 15/04/2023 10:41

Nowfeeltheneedtopost · 15/04/2023 10:37

I don’t think you’re a CF but I do think it’s a shame for your 6yr old that she can’t enjoy her friend’s party without her 3yr old sibling ( however close they may be) following her around. I appreciate there is no easy answer if you had to stay at the party.

Yeah I totally agree with you - I would much prefer to have taken her on her own. I'm trying to get the 3yr old to play with other kids her age but she's a bit shy.

Seems like she's met another little one so fingers crossed she leave her sister to it.

OP posts:
GeneHuntsCowboyBoots · 15/04/2023 10:42

Sassypants82 · 15/04/2023 10:36

Yes, I'm sorry I didn't think to do this!

Show quote history

I wouldn’t worry!

ShowUs · 15/04/2023 10:48

No I think it’s absolutely fine.

If they’re having party food later I would think it was a bit cheeky bringing the younger one in incase they don’t have enough, so I’d say to the mum that you’re planning to give the young one some food that you’ve bought and is your DD ok to go with them unattended and if they need anything you’ll be just here.

pottydimley · 15/04/2023 10:52

If I was the host parent and knew the background, I'd have asked her to join the party. It seems a bit mean not to include her.

Rainbowqueeen · 15/04/2023 10:53

No.
I’d realise not everyone has childcare for siblings and be happy that you had stuck around in case your party guest child needed you for something.

custardbear · 15/04/2023 10:57

Completely normal to be honest, as long as they're not going to kick off for not going to the party but but then you take over at that point and distract elsewhere, perhaps ordering their lunch

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 15/04/2023 10:58

pottydimley · 15/04/2023 10:52

If I was the host parent and knew the background, I'd have asked her to join the party. It seems a bit mean not to include her.

What if 4 other mums were in the same situation, you can't invite everyone. OP you're fine, just keep her away from the food and personally I'd keep her away from the room even if she does have her own food. Let her sister have fun with her friends

LumpySpaceGoddess · 15/04/2023 11:01

You are fine, this is what I had to do but I always sat at a different table and my other child was always paid for and bought their own food/drink etc, I didn’t stop them playing with their sibling, but I did keep them away from the party table etc.

Dippydinosaurus · 15/04/2023 11:20

I always ask the parent if I can bring DD and assume no food/no party bag. I wouldn't just turn up with an extra sibling though, even if paying. Parents have always said yes of course no problem

TeenLifeMum · 15/04/2023 11:31

I always found parents double checked beforehand if they needed to bring siblings. I never had an issue when dc were little and venues were soft play etc but I’d expect the parent to pay in soft play (which you have done).

MysteryBelle · 15/04/2023 11:57

We always got the younger siblings of my son’s friends tagging along to birthday parties and such, everybody did it, no one thought anything of it as far as I know, the more the merrier and of course what were the parents supposed to do, get a baby sitter? In our circle, the parents were all friends and our children were little so it was the thing for both parents to attend so of course they’d bring the younger ones.

I hope the hosts are not making you feel bad, op, or excluding you or your 3 year old. Who wouldn’t want a cute 3 year old to be at their children’s party?

whynotwhatknot · 15/04/2023 11:58

i wouldnt let the 3 year old follow them round -6 years olds dont want little ones tagging along to their birthday